Goodbye, Rudy.

"Rudy"
July 1995 - December 26, 2012

Rudy came to live with me way back in November 1995. I had been living at 110 Lamont for about a year, and my first kitty, Cindy had recently died. I missed her terribly so I attended a local pet adoption in search of a new cat. I came home with two male kittens, Rudy and Teddie. Teddie passed away over three years ago. Rudy seemed sad after his companion died, but he kept on going. Over time, he bonded more with Melvin whom he had always viewed as inferior. Eventually, he seemed to enjoy being an "only cat." He made a few trips with me to the cabin, and this picture was taken on his very first trip in June 2010. He liked it here at the cabin, but he hated being crated for the trip so I only brought him a few times.

On Friday, December 21st, I loaded Rudy along with Melvin and the Christmas packages, and we headed to the cabin for Christmas. I promised Rudy it was the last time he would have to make that trip. "We're moving to the cabin, and you won't ever have to do this again." He was quiet on the drive over and seemed to be handling it just fine. When we arrived, he settled in and ate his dinner as usual. But he seemed clumsy and unsure of himself on the stairs to the sleeping loft. By the next morning, Rudy was clearly very sick. I contacted the vet in nearby Royston where my parents and sister take all their animals. Rudy was hospitalized and received IV fluids and meds. When I visited him two days later on Christmas Eve, he was comfortable but still not eating. And still not himself. By the day after Christmas it was clear that Rudy would not come home to live with me at the cabin. I visited him one last time and held him for the final procedure. He was calm and went peacefully. I buried him here at the cabin, on a sunny slope at the base of cherry tree that holds a birdhouse Jack gave me for Christmas. I marked his grave with a piece of flagstone leftover from the wood stove installation. I laid a pine branch and a stem of pyracantha berries on top and said goodbye.

Goodbye, Sonny



Sonny
April 2002 - October 25, 2012

This past week, we lost our beloved pet, Sonny. Sonny came into our lives back in May of 2002. My sister, Jolyn worked for the Madison County Tax Assessor's office at the time, and she was out on routine county business when she came upon a desperate, abandoned puppy. He was only about 8-weeks, had mange, and was nearly starved to death. Someone had just thrown him out to die. Some people can be so cruel, but big-hearted Jolyn brought him home and nursed him back to health. He soon recovered from his tragic, early start and turned into a bundle of high-energy trouble for a few years. We think he was a Lab/Chow mix, and the Lab part came through LOUD and CLEAR at first. We used to joke that we should have named him Bull-Otter because he was like a bull in a china shop, and he loved hanging out in the swimming hole down at the creek.

By the time he was 5 years old, he had mellowed into a calm, best friend for Jolyn. He was always right by her side. And he loved me too. Every time I came to visit, he would squeal with excitement.

In recent months, he developed lameness in his back legs, then his front legs. It advanced to the point that he could no longer walk or even stand for more than a few seconds. He needed to be carried outside and back inside. Despite his afflictions, he remained sweet Sonny, his tail wagging incessantly. On Thursday, Jolyn made the agonizing decision to release him back into eternity. It was a beautiful, warm autumn day, and leaves fell from the clear, blue sky. We sat outside with Sonny all morning, feeding him bacon and hamburger, holding him, and saying goodbye. My dog, Melvin was there with us. By mid-day, the vet arrived. Jolyn held Sonny, and I watched as he slipped away, and his tail became still for the first time.

Things We Can Learn From A Dog
(author unknown)

Never pass up the chance to go for a joy ride.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Let the fresh air and wind in your face be pure ecstasy.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, sit close, be silent, and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Jolyn & Sonny
October 25, 2012

Me & Sonny
October 25, 2012

Just Gratitude, 4/19/12

Azalea indica 'Red Formosa'
Picture taken March 22 at Stratford Commons

Today I am thankful for. . .

. . .Melvin who is presently subtlely begging for the leftovers from Rudy's breakfast.

. . .Horticulture and that I get to work with, and think about plants everyday. I am looking forward to being able to garden again when I move to the cabin for my country year (or two).

. . .feeling good. What a blessing it is to feel good.

. . .lunchtime walk on the PATH at Medlock Park. The woods were green and lush from the rain, and the air was thick with the smell of ligustrum sinensis (privet).

. . .Randy at Lowes who is trying to help me locate my counter top and get it delivered.

Love in a Mist

"Love-in-a-Mist"
Nigella damascena

Today I'm grateful for . . .

. . .the "Love-in-a-Mist" that was starting to bloom at Mama's today. This pretty little annual self-seeds freely and comes back year after year. Myra planted it for Mama several years ago on Mother's Day, and it comes back every spring from seeds dropped during the previous growing season.

. . .the climbing hydrangeas loaded down with flower buds. I planted these at Mama's many years ago; I think nine years ago. They never thrived in the original location, so we transplanted them to their current location about five years ago. Climbing hydrangeas are notoriously difficult (late) bloomers, so it's especially gratifying to see these healthy, lush plants loaded down with buds.

. . .the pleasure of a good book. 

. . .this perfect spring day.

. . .Lamar and Mama doing so well and happy.

. . .baby birds nesting above the porch light at the cabin.

. . .the small stand of Solomon's Seal at the cabin which I transplanted from 110 Lamont Drive before I sold it.

Just Gratitude, 4/12/12

Chinese Snowball Viburnum from Mama's yard.
Picture taken March 22nd.

Today I'm grateful for . . .

1. feeling better after waking up with a headache.  
2. a lunchtime walk at Deepdene Park on this beautiful, cool spring day. 
3. a productive workday. 
4. successfully resisting the temptation to eat things that aren't good for me. 
5. always having more than enough.
6. the snowball viburnum (pictured above) that bloomed so beautifully at Mama's this year.

Just Gratitude, 4/11/12

Wild violets blooming at the creek.

Today I'm grateful for...

1. I got my taxes done, and I have the money to pay what I owe.
2. My range and cabinets are being delivered to the cabin on Saturday afternoon.
3. A dinner invitation! Erica's parents are here, and her mom cooked a paleo dinner. Erica invited me to join them.
4. Van was the happiest baby tonight. He was content and found almost everything funny. He said "book" for the first time while I was there. He's been making the "k" sound, but last night he put it all together and said "book."
5. My bright pink spring sweater.

Just Gratitude, 4/10/12




Josie, Melvin, and Sonny
Locked up for the Easter Egg Hunt!

 
Today I'm grateful for:

• This picture of the dogs from the weekend. And the dogs, especially my best buddy, Melvin.
• For the cabin. I'm so blessed to have it.
• My job that provides a decent income and lots of flexibility.
• For good health.
• For great friends, especially Erica.
• For Van - how wonderful to have a baby in my life.
• For family.
• For CrossFit and being strong.

Seems Like Only Yesterday

I cannot believe I am fifty years old!  It seems like only yesterday I was a little girl living on a dirt road in rural middle Georgia, riding my bike, building a playhouse under the giant old pine tree, and wanting desperately to grow up. Seems like only yesterday I was in high school, well-behaved and studious, and looking for the road out of town.

Seems like only yesterday I was a scared young woman at UGA, working hard, pulling more than a few all-nighters, and following all the rules. I was focused on getting that degree that would land me that job that would take me out, and keep me out, of the rural south. Seems like only yesterday I landed my dream job right out of college and began my career. Not long after, I discovered my knack for getting things done and bossing people around. ;-) These skills served me well. And burned me out.

Seems like only yesterday I left corporate America for a different life. I went back to school. I changed careers. I got a dog! I bought some land and a truck. I built a cabin.  I sought to bring some of that simple rural upbringing back into my life.   I found the balance.  And the joy.

Seems like only yesterday I found CrossFit and discovered my inner-athlete.  But more important than that, I made new friends - friends for a  lifetime. 

These have been a fabulous fifty years, graced by a loving family, dear friends, beloved pets, good fortune, and health.   I am grateful for these fifty blessed years and look forward to what more is in store.

I Prefer The Latter

This picture was taken post-workout on December 3.  Laura emailed it to me that very evening, and in her note she said the picture was beautiful.  Wow!  What a gift to have a coach who can see beauty in its various forms -- who can see the beauty in me.  Four weeks ago I was given a label of "obese".  Four days ago I was given a new one.  "Beautiful".   I prefer the latter.

This picture is important and significant to me, not because of what my coach sees or anyone else for that matter, but because of what I see.  I see the beauty.  The strength.  The transformation.    I wish for you the same -- the freedom to see your own beauty, right now. Right where you are, just as you are. We are all beautiful in our own way.  Sometimes we just need others to help us see it. 

I am reminded of the words I recently shared from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.  Worth sharing again, I think.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

It Was Only A Dream

This mushroom caught my attention while walking yesterday morning.

It rained like crazy here last night. It started about 9pm and poured for hours. I'm not sure what time it stopped or how many inches we got. Whatever it was, we needed it, if for no other reason to take the edge off this heat wave.

The cabin has a metal roof, and when it rains, you know it. And in a heavy rain like last night, it screams at you to tune everything else out and focus on the rain. So I turned off the TV, opened up the front door and listened to the rain. I fell asleep early listening to the rain. I woke up a few times long enough to realize it was still raining and then went right back to sleep. I dreamed I was still living at 110 Lamont Drive and the roof was leaking. Because that house sits under a gigantic oak tree which occasionally drops limbs in a storm, over the years I had my share of issues with the roof. In the nearly 16 years I lived there, I think I had this problem only twice, but that was enough to induce anxiety in all subsequent big rains. I smiled from ear to ear this morning when I realized last night's roof leak was only a dream.

Thanks, Rudy

Rudy at the Cabin

I came to the cabin for a few days while the AC at the condo is being repaired. I could easily get all in a tiz about the AC not working and the fact that the landlord didn't fix it properly back in May when the problem first manifested, before I moved in. Or, I can just take life as it comes and deal with it. I can even see it as a blessing to have a reason to work from the cabin this week. A friend of mine said, "I think it's your guardian angel stepping in to help you ease into your new life -- giving you some comfort time at the cabin with Melvin [and Rudy]". I think she's right. I am enjoying being here, enjoying the quiet and the slow pace. Enjoying my family just across the way. Appreciating the reminder of why I sold the house in the first place -- so that I could have a finished cabin in the woods and a small, low-maintenance apartment in the city. So that I could split my time between country and city if I choose. Without the AC breaking, who knows when I would have gotten around to really spending more than a day or two here? Who knows when I would have gotten around to packing Rudy up and bringing him with me? Rudy's ability to travel with me is key to having dual residences. I can't spend extended time here if I'm worrying about Rudy at home alone in the condo.

And it is Rudy who provides the life lesson for this week. I have always pegged him as being more attached to his place than to me. I always thought he wouldn't travel well, and I had good reason for thinking that. The fact that I couldn't get my hands on him was a hint of how difficult it would be to bring him with me. The fact that he always fought me like a wild animal when I tried to crate him for a trip to the vet was another clue. But a bigger crate was all he needed to go in without a fuss. I can even pick him up now without too much trickery. He adjusted quickly to life at the condo, and he took to the cabin like it was his idea. He has hardly missed a beat over the last two weeks, and he's 15. That's pretty old in cat-years. So from Rudy this week I have learned that you CAN teach an old cat new tricks, and "it is never too late to be who you might have been." Thanks, Rudy.

Curious and Hard to Believe

2010 is in full swing now, and it's time to get back to normal. For the most part, things have righted themselves. However, since my birthday is January 7, it seems it is always the second week of January before I'm totally back to my routine.

It's been five months now since I made big changes in my diet by eliminating (for the most part) grains, sugar, and other refined carbohydrates. I haven't blogged much recently about this, but now with the holidays behind us, I think it's a perfect time to give an update. Let me start by saying that for the first time in my life, I weighed less after my birthday (this morning) than I did before Thanksgiving. That's right. I lost weight during the holidays! And I wasn't dieting. Like most people, I indulged --a few cookies here, some fudge there, sweet potato pie, a glass of wine now and then, and birthday cake of course. There were times when I definitely over did it. When I allow myself to have sweets and other refined carbs, it's so easy to get into trouble. They are addictive for me. A little something sweet has always left me wanting MORE SUGAR. The same thing happened this holiday season.

The difference this year was that over-indulging made me sick. I can't handle the sugar anymore. When I over do it, I feel terrible. I become tired and depressed. I don't sleep well. I have a persistent headache, and my vertigo returns. I've had a problem with vertigo off and on for years. Since going low-carb, I've discovered that my bouts with vertigo are associated (possibly always) with over-indulgence of refined carbohydrates. I found this curious and hard to believe. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but I proved it on three separate occasions over the last six weeks. (Hopefully, I'm done testing that scenario for a while). I did more reading on the subject and found a recommendation in some of the literature that eliminating sugar from the diet can help with vertigo. Of course my doctor never mentioned this to me. She knew of my struggle with sugar; we had discussed it many times. She said there was really nothing that could be done for my chronic vertigo; "just treat the symptoms by taking meclazine for the dizziness until it passes." That's right. Keep eating the standard American diet so that you can keep taking the standard American drugs for the rest of your life. . . so sad and so true. I'm grateful to have found a better way.

So that's my update: The excess weight is slowly coming off. I feel better than ever, my performance in the gym continues to improve, and I'm not dieting. Curious and hard to believe.

Savoring the Season

A strand of cabin Christmas lights, waiting to be hung.

Last weekend I strung the lights at the cabin and put them on a timer so that they come on every night at dusk. I use the old-fashioned kind with big bulbs and bright colors. The kind from my childhood. The kind that light up your heart and make you happy. Mama and Lamar can see them from their den window -- in the distance, a warm Christmas greeting from me, every night of the season.

This weekend I did a little decorating around home as well. A simple white poinsettia. A burgundy one too. A few lights here and there. My favorite candle for the season, Aunt Sadie's Christmas Tree in a Can. And George Winston's December played the first of many, many times.

Savor this season. Pull out a few of your favorite things. Have some friends over for a toast. Go for a walk in the winter woods. Light a candle and listen to your favorite music. Snuggle up with a good dog on a cold Sunday and rest. Slow down and enjoy. Remember what really matters.

In Defiance of the Gray Day

I love pumpkins!
I spotted these lovelies in front of Whole Foods last night.

I was grumpy and negative all last week. I'm tired of being grumpy and negative. Life is too good, too sweet, and too short to spend one minute of it being pessimistic. So today's post is a slap on my wrist and a kick in my rear - a reminder that I have so much to be thankful for. When I look for the negative in myself and the world, it's easy to find. But beauty is all around, and with a slight mental adjustment, it comes into focus. Coddle it just a little and beauty overtakes the darkness and warms the heart. It's a choice. I choose to be grateful, hopeful, and optimistic.

In the past, I have written about what I call "happy grateful bits" - small everyday happenings that are easily overlooked, but that can change your whole outlook if given a chance. Here are some of my recent happy grateful bits. Share yours if you like.

Pumpkins on display outside Whole Foods last night.
Perfect fall weather over the weekend.
Two deer running through the woods on Sunday morning.
Hardy Ageratum and Ryan's Pink Chrysanthemums blooming together.
Seeing an old friend at the gym this morning.
A red rose blooming outside my window, in defiance of the gray day.

Ryan's Pink Chrysanthemums and Hardy Ageratum

Eternity in an Hour

The Beautyberries at Mama's house were gorgeous yesterday.
Botanical name: Callicarpa americana

It's going to be a beautiful fall week! Clear, sunny days and temps in the 50's at night. Perfection! It started yesterday with a clear, mild, breezy day. I drove to the cabin for the afternoon and dropped by Mama's and stepdad Lamar's house on the way home. My sister and I call Mama and Lamar "LaMama" for short (and for fun) when we are referring to both of them. :-)

LaMama's garden had me snapping photo's left and right. The Beautyberries, pictured above, are awesome right now. I like them best when the berries have turned that outrageous, screaming purple and before the leaves drop. And before the birds get all the berries!

Hopefully you are fortunate enough to have some mums and asters in your garden. Mine are just starting to bloom, but LaMama's were in full swing. I snapped this photo of Aster 'English Countryside'. That's just one little plant. It was this big after one year. Awesome plant. I have it in my yard too, but it is only just starting to show color.

Aster 'English Countryside'

I don't have a cultivated garden at the cabin. Just nature at it's best. I noticed the dogwoods are starting to turn, and the fruit has ripened to a bright red. Golden rod was blooming all along the dirt road that leads to the cabin. And the oaks have dropped tons of fresh, bright green acorns.

I love fall. I hope you won't wait for the one or two weekends that are deemed "peak" for fall foliage. Savor this season. Take time each day to slow down and appreciate the beauty of autumn. In the words of William Blake, "...see a world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour."

Ripened Dogwood Fruit

Fall Still Life of Golden Rod, Fresh Acorns, and Fallen Leaves

Happy Anniversary, Blog

Blooming in my garden:
Sedum 'Autumn Joy'

Write it on your heart that everyday is the best day of the year.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

One year ago today I did the first post for this blog. It started out as a weight loss blog; I was hoping to garner support for my own efforts and maybe help some others with their goals at the same time. It turned out to be much more than that. A journal. A scrapbook. Therapy. A search for answers. A prayer of gratitude. A truth telling (and some of it ain't pretty). One year in the life, documented. A treasure.

Happy Anniversary, blog.

He Was A Good Cat

Teddie
March 1995 - September 5, 2009

Teddie came to live with me on a cold Saturday in November, 1995. I had gone to the Northlake Pet Smart with the intention of adopting a female kitten. I was thinking a sweet little calico would be nice. But Teddie had other ideas. The minute I entered the adoption area, Teddie began working it. He was in a crate about eye level, and he pleaded with his whole body for me to choose him. He leaned into the front wall of the crate and stroked it hard with his head. He poked a paw through the bars and tried to touch me. I noticed him and responded to him, but he was a big male cat. Eight months old already; I would have guessed older because of his size. Not at all what I came for, so I kept looking. I held a couple of other kittens and played with them. But I kept returning to the large, awkward, furry ball of love who I would later name Teddie. He won me over in short order that day, and I brought him home with me, along with a younger kitten-companion, Rudy.

Teddie lived a good life and did what cats do. He and Rudy played a lot when they were young and got into mischief. But as they aged, they slept more and more, usually side-by-side. Teddie always came and sat next to me on the sofa in the evening. And he always joined me for my first cup of coffee in the morning, purring loudly. Even this morning, the last morning of his life, he managed to make it out to the back porch where I was sitting with my coffee. I helped him up so that he could sit beside me. We enjoyed one last morning together. He was a good cat, and I will miss him.

A Bouquet of Gratitude II

Cows grazing in a field near Mama's house.

It's been a rough week, but amidst all the challenges, blessings abounded. Looking back over the last few days, I realize that I have much to be thankful for. I am reminded that I can handle anything as long as I stay present and focus on the moment at hand. In each moment, in the now, everything is fine. Even in great difficulty, especially in great difficulty, God provides what we need to get through that moment, that hour. It comes in the form of courage, grace under fire, self-control, a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, a good idea, a call from a friend you didn't know you had, a welcome surprise, the beauty of the earth and all God's creatures, even another person's trouble to remind you what really matters.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."

~ Denis Whatley ~

One of God's beautiful creatures.

It's a Tough Job

A gorgeous mophead hydrangea in the trial garden at McCorkle Nurseries.
I can't remember this one's name, but it was a beauty!

I just completed two and a half days of planning meetings with my employer, McCorkle Nurseries. McCorkle grows ornamental shrubs (and some trees) in a beautiful rural setting in Dearing, Georgia, about 30 minutes west of Augusta. The planning meeting was held at the farm in Dearing. I am responsible for forecasting sales for future years and working with Operations in Dearing to plan production crops to meet the sales forecast. We finished the meeting before noon today which allowed me time to tour the nursery to check out the various crops currently in production. I get so excited looking at all the beautiful plants; it's hard for me to resist loading up my truck with one of everything. This time I escaped with just a couple of hydrangeas and loropetalums. I was very disciplined. After touring the nursery, I walked through the trial garden and research center where we test plants before adding them to our offering. The trial garden is fantastic, a plant lover's dream.

Entrance to the Trial Garden
Don't you just want to walk down that path and see where it takes you?

We are testing a wide range of blueberries, and these shrubs were loaded down with fruit. Mike, who manages the research center told me I could pick all I wanted. I had a blast! In just a few minutes I picked about a gallon.

Picking blueberries.
It's a tough job!

These three days at the McCorkle farm working with the McCorkle family reminded me just how blessed I am. Blessed to have a job that suits me so well -- that allows me to work with great people some of the time, and by myself much of the time. I thrive on quiet, calm, and solitude -- so to have a job that allows me to work mostly on my own, from my home, from my cabin even -- well that's a tremendous blessing, and I am grateful. And to work with people who appreciate me for who I am and allow me, even encourage me, to work in a setting where I thrive, well that's about as good as it gets I think. But then to top it off, I work with plants, which I love. So even when I'm crunching numbers all day long, plants are at the heart of what I'm doing. I'm totally justified (even expected) to tour the farm and look at beautiful plants, to sample the blueberries, to walk garden centers and see what the competition is doing, to test our awesome plants in my own garden. I am so blessed and grateful.

Thanks, Mama

Mama did her first CrossFit workout ever today at the elementary school in Ila, Georgia!
I'm so proud of her that I named her first workout in her honor.


"Nettie Jo"

3 Rounds for Time:
Walk 1-Lap Around Playground
10 Push-ups
5 Sit-ups

The highlight of my weekend was a Sunday morning workout with my mom. I spent the last few days at the cabin, and on Saturday I spotted pull-up bars at the Ila Elementary School. I mentioned to Mama that I was planning to workout there on Sunday morning. She said she might like to join me. I hoped she would, but didn't count on it. She's 68, has suffered two mild strokes, and has been having lots of health issues lately, especially with her hips. I thought she might not be up to it when the time came. But when I stopped by her house Sunday morning on my way to the school playground, she popped up, ready to go.

I designed the above WOD for her and another one for me. After explaining the workout, I said "3-2-1-GO!" and we hit it. I did a Fran/Helen inspired workout of dumbbell thrusters, pull-ups, and running. I hate thrusters, and running isn't my favorite either, but nothing gets my endorphins flowing better than these two exercises, so I figured why not do them both!

Mama was quite the trooper. She did well with the walking. Because of her prior strokes, she's unsteady on her feet. But she was careful with each step, and did better on the second and third laps than the first. She did modified, incline push-ups on a wall. She did so well with these that I told her we have to make them more difficult next time! :-) The sit-ups were challenging for her, but not TOO challenging. The hardest part of the sit-ups was getting up and down from the ground. That's part of it though, and she'll just get better and stronger as a result. And she clearly understands how all of this involves functional movements that will aid her with everyday living. She finished her workout in around 21 minutes.

It was so rewarding to share this with my mom. And what an example she is! If she can begin this at 68 after two strokes, then certainly I can continue it at 48. Thanks for the inspiration, Mama. I needed it.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
~ George Eliot ~