Goodbye, Rudy.

"Rudy"
July 1995 - December 26, 2012

Rudy came to live with me way back in November 1995. I had been living at 110 Lamont for about a year, and my first kitty, Cindy had recently died. I missed her terribly so I attended a local pet adoption in search of a new cat. I came home with two male kittens, Rudy and Teddie. Teddie passed away over three years ago. Rudy seemed sad after his companion died, but he kept on going. Over time, he bonded more with Melvin whom he had always viewed as inferior. Eventually, he seemed to enjoy being an "only cat." He made a few trips with me to the cabin, and this picture was taken on his very first trip in June 2010. He liked it here at the cabin, but he hated being crated for the trip so I only brought him a few times.

On Friday, December 21st, I loaded Rudy along with Melvin and the Christmas packages, and we headed to the cabin for Christmas. I promised Rudy it was the last time he would have to make that trip. "We're moving to the cabin, and you won't ever have to do this again." He was quiet on the drive over and seemed to be handling it just fine. When we arrived, he settled in and ate his dinner as usual. But he seemed clumsy and unsure of himself on the stairs to the sleeping loft. By the next morning, Rudy was clearly very sick. I contacted the vet in nearby Royston where my parents and sister take all their animals. Rudy was hospitalized and received IV fluids and meds. When I visited him two days later on Christmas Eve, he was comfortable but still not eating. And still not himself. By the day after Christmas it was clear that Rudy would not come home to live with me at the cabin. I visited him one last time and held him for the final procedure. He was calm and went peacefully. I buried him here at the cabin, on a sunny slope at the base of cherry tree that holds a birdhouse Jack gave me for Christmas. I marked his grave with a piece of flagstone leftover from the wood stove installation. I laid a pine branch and a stem of pyracantha berries on top and said goodbye.

Goodbye, Sonny



Sonny
April 2002 - October 25, 2012

This past week, we lost our beloved pet, Sonny. Sonny came into our lives back in May of 2002. My sister, Jolyn worked for the Madison County Tax Assessor's office at the time, and she was out on routine county business when she came upon a desperate, abandoned puppy. He was only about 8-weeks, had mange, and was nearly starved to death. Someone had just thrown him out to die. Some people can be so cruel, but big-hearted Jolyn brought him home and nursed him back to health. He soon recovered from his tragic, early start and turned into a bundle of high-energy trouble for a few years. We think he was a Lab/Chow mix, and the Lab part came through LOUD and CLEAR at first. We used to joke that we should have named him Bull-Otter because he was like a bull in a china shop, and he loved hanging out in the swimming hole down at the creek.

By the time he was 5 years old, he had mellowed into a calm, best friend for Jolyn. He was always right by her side. And he loved me too. Every time I came to visit, he would squeal with excitement.

In recent months, he developed lameness in his back legs, then his front legs. It advanced to the point that he could no longer walk or even stand for more than a few seconds. He needed to be carried outside and back inside. Despite his afflictions, he remained sweet Sonny, his tail wagging incessantly. On Thursday, Jolyn made the agonizing decision to release him back into eternity. It was a beautiful, warm autumn day, and leaves fell from the clear, blue sky. We sat outside with Sonny all morning, feeding him bacon and hamburger, holding him, and saying goodbye. My dog, Melvin was there with us. By mid-day, the vet arrived. Jolyn held Sonny, and I watched as he slipped away, and his tail became still for the first time.

Things We Can Learn From A Dog
(author unknown)

Never pass up the chance to go for a joy ride.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Let the fresh air and wind in your face be pure ecstasy.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, sit close, be silent, and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Jolyn & Sonny
October 25, 2012

Me & Sonny
October 25, 2012

Nothing Sweet About It

One-eyed Rudy

Life has settled down it seems. The AC in the condo was replaced and appears to really be fixed this time (knock on wood). No more battling with the landlord to do the right thing. No more reasons to delay settling in here. No more distractions from the day-in, day-out grind of life. I've got that, "now what?" feeling that is probably common after big life events. I'm feeling a little depressed, and when I'm depressed the only thing I can think of to make myself feel better is food. So last night I binged on ice cream. It worked. I felt better almost immediately, and fell asleep early from overdosing on sugar. Relief. Escape. For a fleeting moment.

And now I'm right back in the same place I was yesterday with the added heavy blues that always follow one of these episodes. Sugary regret. There's nothing sweet about it.

Thanks, Rudy

Rudy at the Cabin

I came to the cabin for a few days while the AC at the condo is being repaired. I could easily get all in a tiz about the AC not working and the fact that the landlord didn't fix it properly back in May when the problem first manifested, before I moved in. Or, I can just take life as it comes and deal with it. I can even see it as a blessing to have a reason to work from the cabin this week. A friend of mine said, "I think it's your guardian angel stepping in to help you ease into your new life -- giving you some comfort time at the cabin with Melvin [and Rudy]". I think she's right. I am enjoying being here, enjoying the quiet and the slow pace. Enjoying my family just across the way. Appreciating the reminder of why I sold the house in the first place -- so that I could have a finished cabin in the woods and a small, low-maintenance apartment in the city. So that I could split my time between country and city if I choose. Without the AC breaking, who knows when I would have gotten around to really spending more than a day or two here? Who knows when I would have gotten around to packing Rudy up and bringing him with me? Rudy's ability to travel with me is key to having dual residences. I can't spend extended time here if I'm worrying about Rudy at home alone in the condo.

And it is Rudy who provides the life lesson for this week. I have always pegged him as being more attached to his place than to me. I always thought he wouldn't travel well, and I had good reason for thinking that. The fact that I couldn't get my hands on him was a hint of how difficult it would be to bring him with me. The fact that he always fought me like a wild animal when I tried to crate him for a trip to the vet was another clue. But a bigger crate was all he needed to go in without a fuss. I can even pick him up now without too much trickery. He adjusted quickly to life at the condo, and he took to the cabin like it was his idea. He has hardly missed a beat over the last two weeks, and he's 15. That's pretty old in cat-years. So from Rudy this week I have learned that you CAN teach an old cat new tricks, and "it is never too late to be who you might have been." Thanks, Rudy.

Lovely Nonetheless

"Straight ahead or to the left?"
Melvin listens intently for instructions during our hike at Vogel State Park on Thursday.

The leaves in north Georgia were awe inspiring on Thursday. I drove over to Blue Ridge to visit Mercier Orchards to purchase some fresh, locally grown apples. I bought three types: Mutzu, Pink Lady, and Cameo. Afterwards, I stopped briefly in downtown Blue Ridge for a latte at a quaint little cafe. There are lots of cute shops in Blue Ridge, and you could definitely make a day of it there. But I wasn't in a shopping mood. On the return, I took highway 129/19, a spectacular winding mountain drive that leads past Vogel State Park. I had planned to stop at Vogel to break up the trip and allow Melvin a little exercise. We did a short 1-mile loop around the lake, and just as we were completing the walk, I spotted a pileated woodpecker in a large conifer at the lake's edge. He was strikingly handsome and allowed me to admire him for quite some time before he retreated from view.

It was a lovely day. A little lonely, but lovely nonetheless.

The lake at Vogel State Park.

This Little Island

Driftwood Beach on Jekyll Island

I just returned home from a few days at Jekyll Island. The weather was just about perfect -- sunny, mild days and cool nights. One of my favorite things about Jekyll is that dogs are allowed on the beach, a clear indication that this little island has its priorities in order. A vacation at Jekyll is quiet, simple, and laid back. No fast food restaurants, no neon signs, and just one tiny grocery store. I love Jekyll Island. I love the commitment to conservation, preservation, and restoration. I love the respect for history. I love the quirky bookstore with its many rooms and the big porch for lounging. I love sipping a great cup of coffee on the veranda at the Jekyll Island Club. I love Driftwood Beach and the marshland, the perfectly manicured grounds of the historic district, and the majestic live oaks draped in moss. I love this little island.

Visiting Longleaf

An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

I visited my brother, Jack over the weekend. He works for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service as forester at the Carolina Sandhills National Wildlife Refuge in McBee, South Carolina. This 45,000 acre refuge is devoted to restoring and protecting the longleaf pine ecosystem which once covered 90 million acres across the southeast. Fewer than two million acres of longleaf pine forest remain. As this habitat disappears, so do many of the species that thrive there. The red cockaded woodpecker, on the endangered list since 1970, is given special attention at the refuge. The current world-wide population is estimated at about 12,500. This is the only woodpecker that nests in living pine trees (preferably longleaf pines). While other woodpeckers bore into the decaying wood of dead trees, the red cockaded woodpecker bores a cavity into a living, mature tree. They establish a "neighborhood" of nesting trees and live out their lives in a tightknit extended-family setting. For their survival, they require large, open, longleaf pine forests. At the refuge nesting trees are identified and marked so that the population of this endangered bird can be monitored and protected.

Jack has the good fortune of living on the refuge. His house sits pretty much in the middle of this 45,000 acre national treasure. There are several lakes within walking distance of his house and hiking trails in every direction. Saturday morning we took a long hike -- some of it on trails, some of it through the forest. We left shortly after breakfast and got back just in time to watch the Georgia game on TV. It was a perfect day. Sunday morning we went for a shorter hike in a different direction. I'll be sharing some of the photos from my visit on the blog this week.

In wilderness is the preservation of the world.
~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Lucy Needs a Home

Lucy

A few months ago my neighbors, Mark and Angie, rescued an abandoned dog. Someone just left her to fend for herself. She was roaming around a local neighborhood all day apparently, and no one did anything -- that is until Mark and Angie came along. They bumped into her while they were out walking. And they did what dog-lovers do. They rescued her. Even though Mark and Angie already have a dog and can't take in another, they figured they could help her to safety. After a trip to the vet to have her checked out, they discovered that she was pregnant. Did you know that the humane society will not take a pregnant dog? Every resource they turned to for help could not (or would not) help them since Lucy was pregnant. So Mark and Angie did what they had to do. They took Lucy in, walked her everyday, fed her, and loved her. A few weeks later, Lucy gave birth to NINE puppies! It's been a couple of months since the puppies were born. Some have already left for homes or foster homes. Four remain with two of the four scheduled to go to a new home this weekend. These puppies are precious. If you are interested in a puppy, leave a comment here. I feel certain the pups will go fairly easily. Who doesn't love a cute, cuddly little puppy?

But that leaves Lucy needing a home. She is two or three years old and not very big. I would guess she weighs 35-40 pounds. She is smart and eager to learn and please. She has been through a lot, and now it's time for Lucy to find her permanent, loving home. If you can help Lucy, please post a comment here, and I will get you in touch with Mark and Angie.

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There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog.
~ Konrad Lorenz ~

Caught Off Guard

Primal Energy Bars
Recipe from Mark's Daily Apple

I was caught off guard by the depth of my sadness over the loss of Teddie. I tried going to the cabin for a change of scenery, but it was just too quiet and lonely. The heartache followed me there, and I longed to be back at home. Rudy, my other cat, seems a little blue so I am giving him extra attention. It's good for both of us. I know Melvin misses Teddie. Rudy has always held Melvin in contempt -- unlike Teddie who loved Melvin despite his being a dog and all. He seemed oblivious to Melvin's canine affiliation and often treated Melvin like a great big cat, sleeping with him and washing Melvin's ears. Melvin didn't like this, but he tolerated it out of respect for Teddie since he was here first. We all miss Teddie. I said I wouldn't get another cat, and I probably won't, but if I could have my Teddie back, I would jump at the chance.

Despite my low energy, I managed to try out a new recipe that I found on Mark's Daily Apple -- Primal Energy Bars pictured above. This seems to be a good, versatile recipe that you can modify according to your taste and what you have in the pantry. I'm glad to have these on hand this week for a snack with coffee or when I'm in a rush and need to grab something on the go. They are not sweet at all really - more salty than sweet. Which is good for me. I don't want the temptation or the insulin spike. But if you wanted them to be slightly sweet, you could add a bit more raw honey or even stevia I suppose. Or use a sweet dried fruit or dark chocolate chips to turn this into more of a dessert. You can probably tell that I am getting a kick out of trying new recipes. And it made me happy to fuss over these and wrap them in parchment and twine. It occurred to me that these would make a great gift for health-conscious friends during the holidays. I'll work on perfecting the recipe . . . I think it could be better. I will probably omit the salt next time. And maybe try dried blueberries in place of dried cranberries. (For the recipe, click on the link beneath the picture.)

He Was A Good Cat

Teddie
March 1995 - September 5, 2009

Teddie came to live with me on a cold Saturday in November, 1995. I had gone to the Northlake Pet Smart with the intention of adopting a female kitten. I was thinking a sweet little calico would be nice. But Teddie had other ideas. The minute I entered the adoption area, Teddie began working it. He was in a crate about eye level, and he pleaded with his whole body for me to choose him. He leaned into the front wall of the crate and stroked it hard with his head. He poked a paw through the bars and tried to touch me. I noticed him and responded to him, but he was a big male cat. Eight months old already; I would have guessed older because of his size. Not at all what I came for, so I kept looking. I held a couple of other kittens and played with them. But I kept returning to the large, awkward, furry ball of love who I would later name Teddie. He won me over in short order that day, and I brought him home with me, along with a younger kitten-companion, Rudy.

Teddie lived a good life and did what cats do. He and Rudy played a lot when they were young and got into mischief. But as they aged, they slept more and more, usually side-by-side. Teddie always came and sat next to me on the sofa in the evening. And he always joined me for my first cup of coffee in the morning, purring loudly. Even this morning, the last morning of his life, he managed to make it out to the back porch where I was sitting with my coffee. I helped him up so that he could sit beside me. We enjoyed one last morning together. He was a good cat, and I will miss him.

On Top of That

Dessert
Fresh blueberries and strawberries with macadamia nuts

Things are a little hectic around my house this week. I have a sick cat. Teddie, my 15 year-old feline developed a big fat lower lip on Sunday. I took him to the emergency vet and the doctor determined that he had an abscessed tooth. Several hours and $450 later, I brought him home wearing one of those Elizabethan collars (the cat, not me), along with pain meds, antibiotics, and instructions for round-the-clock care. If you have ever tried to give medicine to a cat, or get a cat to do anything he doesn't want to do, then you understand.

On top of dealing with a sick cat, one of my neighbors just got a new puppy. Since I work from home, love dogs, and apparently cannot control myself when it comes to offering to help people in a jam, I volunteered to walk him at lunch time this week until she can get him in puppy day-care.

On top of that, I am keeping my brother's dog, JC this week while my brother attends a conference. My brother, Jack and JC arrived last night about 5pm. So I had two house guests overnight -- my brother and his dog. Melvin is thrilled to have another dog in the house. I cooked a delicious (if I do say so myself) dinner of salmon and vegetables with fresh berries for dessert. (It was also visually appealing, but I forgot to take a picture to share with you). Jack and I talked up a storm and went for a walk after dinner. All very nice. A little hectic, but nice.

So it's 8am on Tuesday, and I have cooked breakfast, put the trash and recycle out by the street, seen my brother off on his trip, walked Melvin and JC, cleaned the kitchen, nursed the sick cat, showered, dressed, and written a blog about it. Whew. Now it's time to get to work. This must be a taste of how you mothers feel everyday.

A Good Dog Story

Melvin at dog-friendly Jekyll Island

Why do people write sad, tragic stories about animals? Especially dogs! I'm reading this book, Gods in Alabama, and I just finished a chapter with a horrible story about the death of the family dog, Buddy. It upset me so much that I had to get out of bed to try and get my mind on something else. There were two other deaths in the same chapter--a man and a young boy. And the book opened with a murder. (My goodness, this is a dark book! Maybe too dark for my sensitive nature and fragile mood.) But it was the death of Buddy that did me in. Ms. Jackson may be too raw and depressing for me. Not sure if I will be able to finish Gods in Alabama. I'll see how I feel tomorrow and how the next chapter starts out.

For now I'm thinking about my beloved Melvin who is sleeping at my feet in the foot-well of my desk. Anytime I'm at the computer, that's probably where you will find him. Earlier tonight he was resting happily in one of the piles of dirty laundry I had sorted on the bedroom floor. He loves my dirty laundry; I take that as a compliment. Another favorite resting spot is the air vent where he plops down after a walk or game of fetch. And have I shared how he lets me know it is time to play? Almost everyday around 5pm he leaves the office and returns a short time later. "Click, click, click." His nails on the hardwood floor. "Bump-bumpity-bump-bump." Tennis ball dropped and bounced my way. Big smile! Warm heart! I grab the ball, and we head outside.

Now that's a good dog story!

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"I like to think happy thoughts."
~ my grandmother ~

All the Difference

The Road Not Taken
~ Robert Frost ~

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

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The popular interpretation of Frost's poem is that it is about individualism. It is commonly interpreted as inspiration for marching to your own drummer. However, critics have interpreted it as a work of irony, and this is the view that seems to make most sense to me, especially if you've read what Frost himself said about the poem. Also, the title, "The Road Not Taken" seems to be a big clue to me that this is a poem about looking back as much as it is about looking forward. In hindsight, after having made his choice, he waxes eloquent about the path he took, and he chooses to remember it romantically. Of course the path we choose makes all the difference. So choose carefully, on purpose, because there is no going back.

Finding It

The trails at Lullwater provide sanctuary for soul searching.
. . . for finding it.

For a while now I've been thinking that the title "Losing It" no longer suits my blog. It started as a play on words -- a big nod to my goal of losing weight and a sneaky wink at my frustration with my seeming inability to do so. But this blog is so much more to me now. It's about a much bigger goal of wholeness--physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. My weight is such a tiny, tiny (no sarcastic pun intended) portion of who I am. Even exercise, nutrition, physical fitness, and certainly CrossFit are just pieces of the puzzle. Plus I've come to realize it is nearly impossible to lose anything that you are constantly fixated on.

So I'm renaming the blog "Finding It" in celebration of all that I am learning, the personal growth I am experiencing, and my renewed commitment to focus on the whole person.

(Yes, that's Melvin in the picture above, striking a pose in the late day sun.)

A Cure for the Blahs

Sunday Supper
Steak Salad
(grilled sirloin, mixed greens, red pepper, broccoli, strawberries, blue cheese, balsamic vinaigrette)

I struggled with the blahs all day long today. Rainy Sunday's are much harder to manage than rainy Monday's in my book, but I've just about made it through. I haven't buried my feelings in food so I'm glad for that. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Occasionally I wished for some happy surprise to make me feel better. But no happy surprises today. I'm still feeling restless, anxious, a little worried, and lonely. Alone. But at least I'm feeling it. I'm not rushing around non-stop to avoid the feelings, and not covering them with food.

Looking back on my day, it was ok I guess. I slept until 8:30 or so, and I slept great. I had a leisurely morning. I sat out on the back porch drinking coffee, reading, and thinking. About noon, I went to the gym and did a workout. Somehow, even with the blahs, I was able to do a workout. It helped that Marshall showed up mid-way through so I couldn't quit. Hmmm, maybe that was a happy surprise. When I left the gym, I had a message from Byron asking me to meet him for coffee. Oh wow! That was another happy surprise; I just didn't recognise it at the time. I haven't seen him in a while so it was good to catch up. As I was leaving Starbucks, I received a text-picture message from my friend, Susan. It was a picture of the cutest cardigan welsh corgi puppies! Little baby Melvins! Now, that was definitely a happy surprise!

5 month-old Cardigan Welsh Corgis
Could there be a new puppy in my future?

When I sat down to write this, I honestly thought it had been a totally blah day. I sat down to write about having the blahs. But as I recounted my day, I realized that it was sprinkled with gems not fully appreciated at the time. It's all in the attitude. And a little bit of gratitude goes a long way towards curing the blahs.

The Next Step

Spring is fleeting. Be sure to enjoy each day, each blossom, each smell.

That's Melvin's philosophy. He's excellent at staying in the moment.

I've decided to track my Weight Watcher points for the upcoming week. I'm in a good habit now of writing down everything I'm eating. It's not overwhelming to me anymore to think about weighing and measuring and tracking the points. I have continued to attend my Weight Watcher meetings over the last few weeks. Yesterday at the meeting I was talking to several women who are at their goal and have maintained it for a while now. All looked great. Healthy and fit. Not cross-fit, but generally fit. I talked to them before the meeting started to see what I could learn. One woman said, "it started to work for me when I realized that I just can't eat that much." Profound, right? It struck a cord with me. Focusing on the quality of food I'm eating is very important. Eating less refined sugar over the last couple of weeks has helped me tremendously...at least now I am more aware of what it does to my body and mood. But to lose weight, I've got to focus on the quantity too. So that's the next step for me; that's what I am working on starting today.


Yesterday's food diary follows...

6:30 am, Breakfast
1/2 ezekiel english muffin
1 T peanut butter
2 soy sausage links

8:30 am, WOD, "Danny" (20 minute AMRAP)

10:00 am
1/2 ezekiel english muffin
1 T peanut butter
strawberries

12 noon
Weight Watcher 1-point bar

2pm, Lunch
Spinach salad with 2 oz salmon, broccoli, strawberries, tomatoes, balsamic vinaigrette

4:30 pm
strawberries and banana with dollop of greek style yogurt

6pm, Walk Melvin

7:30 pm, Dinner
turkey burger salad (2 oz turkey burger, greens, tomato, bell pepper, strawberries, balsamic vinaigrette)
cottage cheese and apple

Here's What I Know

"Fetch for Time"

Melvin gets his WOD in at Lullwater Park on Monday.

(click here to enlarge image and see just how cute Melvin is.)

So here's the deal. I am prone to depression and have struggled with it for years with varying degrees of success. I use food, specifically refined carbohydrates, to feel better. The problem is that it doesn't work. It provides only temporary relief but then sets off a vicious cycle, intensifying the depression which makes me crave more sugar. The very thing I turn to for relief is making the problem worse.

And I am so sick of all the contradictory information out there. Get in the Zone. Go Paleo. Eat dairy. No, don't eat dairy; it will kill you. Grains are good. Grains are from the devil. Just do Weight Watchers which allows you to eat all foods in moderation. Everybody has a solution for me, and I just want to scream! For someone who binged on crap Sunday night, Monday night, and Wednesday night, every one's advice seems to miss the point. I just need to get off Oreos and ice cream for goodness sake!

Well I've cried and screamed and prayed and medicated with food, but the problem is still there. And I am more confused and frustrated than ever. I don't know what the answer is.

But here's what I do know.

• What I'm doing is not working. It's time to try something different.
• My food/drug of choice is always sugary, fatty, refined carbs.
• Even when I'm "being good" I find it difficult to control "good carbs" like cereal, whole wheat bread, brown rice, beans, and corn.
• I have never binged on lean protein, fruits, or vegetables.
• I don't seem to have a problem with milk and cottage cheese; although I can get into trouble with yogurt and hard cheeses sometimes.
• I never met a nut that I didn't like, and I find it hard to control these.

For now, that's all I can say.

A Lost Treasure Found

The Lake at Lullwater Park on Emory Campus

Do you know that great feeling you get when you find something precious that you had lost? You lost it so long ago that you were not even looking for it anymore; you had forgotten all about it. And then you stumble upon it--in the pocket of an old coat or beneath the silk lining of your fancy clutch purse. That's the feeling I had tonight when I went for a walk at Lullwater Park. I haven't walked at Lullwater Park since before I started CrossFit. I used to walk there regularly with a good friend. But life changed, and I got busy doing other things.

Well tonight I came home from the gym, grabbed Melvin's leash, and we headed out for a walk. And then I stopped a few yards from the house and said to Melvin, "do you want to go walk at Lullwater Park?" He looked up from whatever he was sniffing, cocked his head to one side and tried really hard to understand what I was saying. "Let's go walk at Lullwater Park; let's do it!" He ran to me with great excitement, not sure exactly what we were about to do, but very happy to participate in whatever I had in mind. As we drove to Lullwater, Melvin peered out the passenger window with joyful anticipation. As soon as his paws hit the pavement of the parking lot, he knew exactly where he was. No need for me to lead the way. He walked me, pulling me along the exact route we last walked nearly two years ago.

It felt great to rediscover this lost treasure. I plan to return there regularly. I don't want to lose it again.

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If you are not familiar with Lullwater, you should check it out. It's a gem hidden inside the city. It is the perfect place for walking and jogging. There are excellent paths and trails through the wooded, rolling terrain. There is a suspension bridge, a lake, geese, ducks, turtles, and even a Great Blue Heron! There is a large grassy lawn for reclining or frisbee or whatever. It's a great place for an escape, and it is just minutes away. I think the easiest way to access Lullwater is via the Emory Clairmont Campus. You can park for free after 6pm and on weekends at the Clifton School.

Shopping, Diet, and Other Mundane Stuff

Me and Melvin enjoying the recent snow at the cabin.
I want more of this in my life (enjoyment, not snow necessarily).

I went shopping over the weekend for something to wear to Rachel's wedding. I have been putting off buying new clothes until I lose more weight. And since I work from home, I've been able to get away with it. No one cares what I wear while I'm sitting at my desk at home. Melvin never notices that I rotate between two pairs of jeans day after day. But I needed something for Rachel's wedding so I went shopping on Saturday. No luck. I went again Sunday afternoon, and this time I went with Shana. She had me try things I probably would not have tried. I bought a cute skirt and blouse--not too dressy so it's something I can get a lot of use from. That's important. I went shopping again on my own Monday night and bought another skirt and blouse. It's good to have some clothes that fit. I plan to buy a few more pieces over the coming weeks for spring and summer. When these get too big, I'll give them away, but for now it's important to have clothes that fit and make me feel good.

I'm doing ok with my "diet". I would like to do better, but I'm doing so-so and keeping my food journal this week. I've tried to crank up the activity a notch or two by doing some extra walking or jogging. Over the weekend, I worked in the yard. Besides my crossfit workouts, I tend to be so sedentary. I sit at this computer all day long and evenings too, so adding some activity to my day is a good thing.

I'm feeling tired...like all the creativity and energy has been drained right out of me. I think this comes from months of going non-stop. I don't really see things changing anytime soon. People aren't meant to work 7 days per week, week after week. I'm realizing that I will have to let some things go. I will have to say "no" to some things. I just can't do everything the way I want to do it and do all that everyone wants me to do. I'll do my best, and my best may sometimes disappoint me. It may disappoint others. But that will just have to be okay.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.
~ Bill Watterson ~

Under the Azaleas

Sunday Brunch
Scrambled eggs with veggies & canadian bacon
Mixed greens with tomato and avocado

I'm definitely back on track. Yes, the nuts and ice cream are out of the house; I took care of that Tuesday night! (Thanks for asking Rachel!) Yesterday was a good day. I'm proud of myself for limiting Tuesday night's failing to just what I called it. A blip. No big deal. It's not what we do on one particular night that matters so much but what we do consistently over the long haul.

On a different note, I have to share the highlight of my day yesterday. I did a CrossFit workout on my own, at home, after I did the scheduled HQ Push Jerk at the gym. I did the CFED dumbbell workout from Tuesday. What a great little workout. It's hard for me to keep the intensity up when I work out by myself, but since this workout is so quick (I finished in 10:10), I was able to really keep the pressure on. Plus I was gunning for Meeks' time of 8:54. When I finished, I collapsed on the patio--that great CrossFit collapse that we all love. While I was doing the workout, Melvin hid under the azaleas. When I was finished, he came over and gave me a lick. That's Wednesday's happy grateful bit.