I Prefer The Latter

This picture was taken post-workout on December 3.  Laura emailed it to me that very evening, and in her note she said the picture was beautiful.  Wow!  What a gift to have a coach who can see beauty in its various forms -- who can see the beauty in me.  Four weeks ago I was given a label of "obese".  Four days ago I was given a new one.  "Beautiful".   I prefer the latter.

This picture is important and significant to me, not because of what my coach sees or anyone else for that matter, but because of what I see.  I see the beauty.  The strength.  The transformation.    I wish for you the same -- the freedom to see your own beauty, right now. Right where you are, just as you are. We are all beautiful in our own way.  Sometimes we just need others to help us see it. 

I am reminded of the words I recently shared from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.  Worth sharing again, I think.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

Thanks, Rudy

Rudy at the Cabin

I came to the cabin for a few days while the AC at the condo is being repaired. I could easily get all in a tiz about the AC not working and the fact that the landlord didn't fix it properly back in May when the problem first manifested, before I moved in. Or, I can just take life as it comes and deal with it. I can even see it as a blessing to have a reason to work from the cabin this week. A friend of mine said, "I think it's your guardian angel stepping in to help you ease into your new life -- giving you some comfort time at the cabin with Melvin [and Rudy]". I think she's right. I am enjoying being here, enjoying the quiet and the slow pace. Enjoying my family just across the way. Appreciating the reminder of why I sold the house in the first place -- so that I could have a finished cabin in the woods and a small, low-maintenance apartment in the city. So that I could split my time between country and city if I choose. Without the AC breaking, who knows when I would have gotten around to really spending more than a day or two here? Who knows when I would have gotten around to packing Rudy up and bringing him with me? Rudy's ability to travel with me is key to having dual residences. I can't spend extended time here if I'm worrying about Rudy at home alone in the condo.

And it is Rudy who provides the life lesson for this week. I have always pegged him as being more attached to his place than to me. I always thought he wouldn't travel well, and I had good reason for thinking that. The fact that I couldn't get my hands on him was a hint of how difficult it would be to bring him with me. The fact that he always fought me like a wild animal when I tried to crate him for a trip to the vet was another clue. But a bigger crate was all he needed to go in without a fuss. I can even pick him up now without too much trickery. He adjusted quickly to life at the condo, and he took to the cabin like it was his idea. He has hardly missed a beat over the last two weeks, and he's 15. That's pretty old in cat-years. So from Rudy this week I have learned that you CAN teach an old cat new tricks, and "it is never too late to be who you might have been." Thanks, Rudy.

Happy New Year

A single, old-fashioned Christmas light shines brightly against the winter woods,
framed perfectly by the porch railings of the cabin.

That photograph is one of my favorites from the Christmas holidays. I took it on Christmas Eve at the cabin, mid-afternoon, just before the rain started. It was a cold, gray day, but I was happy, toasting pecans in the oven, and preparing to head over to Mama's house for the family festivities. I never got around to sharing it with you during the holidays so I decided to use it today. For me it captures the slight melancholy that I feel now that we must return to normal. The lights are out. The parties are over. Work looms on Monday. I'm a little sad to see it all end.

Time to turn our view to the future. It's a new year. And a new decade. Rather than looking back, we can look forward to a fresh year with a fresh start. Maybe you've set some resolutions for yourself. I think it's in vogue now to say that you don't do New Year's resolutions. But I do. I'm always setting goals for myself and trying to improve in this area or that. It's just my nature. And of course, I fail a lot and have to start over. Or adjust my expectations. But still, I like setting goals and thinking about what I want for myself and others in the future. I won't bore you with all the details of my 2010 resolutions. Suffice it to say that I continue to pursue good health and happiness. And I wish the same for you.

A friend of mine posted the following quote on her Facebook page on New Year's Day. I liked it a lot. I hope you do too. Happy New Year, friends.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.
~Henry Ward Beecher~

Consistency, Thou Art a Jewel

A sensible indulgence:
Strawberries dipped in dark, bittersweet chocolate (72% cacao).

"Consistency, thou art a jewel." I heard this quote for the first time recently, and it struck a cord with me. The person I heard use the quote is a UGA football player - he's a kicker or snaps for the kicker or something like that. I can't remember exactly. But the point he was making was important, and I do remember that. As a youth, his father encouraged him to practice, practice, practice. "Consistency, thou art a jewel," his father would say. And now that young man is doing his thing, whatever it is, at a major university. The practice and consistency paid off. When he arrived at UGA he discovered the quote his father had said to him over and over again painted on the walls of the training facility.

I liked that story and how it came full circle when the young man achieved his goal, arrived on campus, and found the wise words often used by his father inscribed there. We become what we routinely do. Sometimes the progress is slower than we would like. It takes time to develop new skills or change old habits. But change does come when we are consistent and patient. Consistency, thou art a jewel.

On a mundane note, I wanted to share the picture of the chocolate dipped strawberries. I just melted some high quality, bittersweet chocolate, dipped the strawberries and then put them in the fridge for a little while for the chocolate to set. Guess what? When you don't eat sugar all the time, bittersweet chocolate actually tastes sweet. This is an easy, pretty, sensible indulgence for those holiday parties . . . or just for you when you need it.

Getting There from Here

The Lake at Lullwater Park on Emory Campus.

I have been trying for days now to find my way back to the land of sugar-free and low-carb. I lost my way over a week ago, and it has been a battle ever since. I started to panic, thinking that I might never locate it again. I felt like a character from Lost in search of the mysterious island -- unsure of how I arrived there in the first place, desperate to return, and clueless on how to get there again. Maybe it really was just a fluke. Maybe it's not possible to get there from here. Maybe it requires a cataclysmic event or perfect planetary alignment. Maybe it is simply beyond my control.

But then I remembered the simple commitment I made in the beginning. Just cut out the sugar, grains, and refined carbohydrates. I ate as much as I needed of meat, eggs, vegetables, fruit, and nuts to feel satisfied . I also included some dairy. In the first few days, I needed more food to feel satisfied. But as my body adjusted to eating more protein/fat and fewer carbohydrates, the cravings disappeared, and the hunger subsided. And that will happen again after a few days. So there's no need to panic. Just cut out the sugar, grains, and refined carbs. It's not mysterious or magic. It just requires commitment to abstain from the thing that makes me crazy. I can do this. I have two sugar-free days under my belt. I'm well on my way, and feeling a little better.

Tuesday night dinner.
Meatloaf, broccoli, and creamy cauliflower.

The creamy cauliflower is a reasonable low-carb replacement for rice or mashed potatoes. Quite tasty, easy to make, and is as good leftover as it is on day 1. I found the recipe in Protein Power by Michael Eades, M.D.

Creamy Cauliflower

1 large head of cauliflower
2 T butter, melted
1/2 Boursin Cheese with Herbs and Garlic, at room temp
1 T cream
salt and pepper to taste

Steam (or boil) the cauliflower until tender. I prefer steaming because you don't lose all the flavor and nutrients in the water.

Place the cooked cauliflower in the work bowl of a food processor. Add the melted butter, cheese, cream, salt and pepper. Process in pulses to start and then on high until smooth. Add more cream if needed to achieve a smooth puree that holds its shape like mashed potatoes. (I don't own a food processor so I just mashed mine with a fork and then used a hand mixer. The texture was maybe not as smooth as it would have been with a food processor, but it was still good).

In Defiance of the Gray Day

I love pumpkins!
I spotted these lovelies in front of Whole Foods last night.

I was grumpy and negative all last week. I'm tired of being grumpy and negative. Life is too good, too sweet, and too short to spend one minute of it being pessimistic. So today's post is a slap on my wrist and a kick in my rear - a reminder that I have so much to be thankful for. When I look for the negative in myself and the world, it's easy to find. But beauty is all around, and with a slight mental adjustment, it comes into focus. Coddle it just a little and beauty overtakes the darkness and warms the heart. It's a choice. I choose to be grateful, hopeful, and optimistic.

In the past, I have written about what I call "happy grateful bits" - small everyday happenings that are easily overlooked, but that can change your whole outlook if given a chance. Here are some of my recent happy grateful bits. Share yours if you like.

Pumpkins on display outside Whole Foods last night.
Perfect fall weather over the weekend.
Two deer running through the woods on Sunday morning.
Hardy Ageratum and Ryan's Pink Chrysanthemums blooming together.
Seeing an old friend at the gym this morning.
A red rose blooming outside my window, in defiance of the gray day.

Ryan's Pink Chrysanthemums and Hardy Ageratum

Small Handful

The Shasta Daisies and the Phlox are blooming.

Oh Lord. I just ate a whole bunch of pistachios. They have since been removed from the house along with the other nuts left over from the party. Apparently, I do not understand the words, "small handful." . . . Oh well. At least it wasn't the junky sweet emptiness that I so often get into trouble with. It could have been worse. And what's done is done. Move on.

I'm feeling good today -- more positive and hopeful. My mood has been up and down over the last [nearly] two weeks since I sold my interest in CFED. At first I just felt relieved. Happy to be able to sleep and to have my life back. Then came the feelings of loss and sadness. And I have felt some anger, although I tried not to hang out there. Nothing good comes of it. Really, nothing good comes of looking back at all. Not for long any way. And all those emotions – sadness, loss, anger – can only be kept alive by looking back. So I’m learning what I can from the experience, growing from it – hopefully becoming a better person – and choosing to move forward. Even starting to feel a little excited about what’s next.

It is not lost on me that my improved mood coincides with an improved diet. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do the intense CrossFit workouts right now because of my knee; nothing helps me keep depression at bay better than a bust-a-gut workout. I've written about this often. But since I'm limited due to the knee, all the more reason to focus on clean eating. And nutrition is the foundation for all health and fitness anyway. So I'll view this little challenge with the knee as an opportunity to give my diet the scrutiny it needs – the chance to go back and lay a proper foundation.

The latest on my search for a new gym: I’m leaning towards getting a short-term membership at a place like the Y so that I can swim and use the elliptical. I know that is sacrilege to you hard-core crossfitters out there, but both are easy on the knee, and I’ve got to find a way to get my heart rate up since I can’t run, jump, hop, thrust or row right now. The doctor recommended both of these as good options for me until I take care of the knee. Meanwhile I’ll do what I can with CrossFit so that I don’t lose too much strength – more sit-ups, pull-ups, and pushups. I was thrilled when I saw today's HQ WOD posted. Five rounds of 30 situps and 25 back extensions. I did this at home in the driveway. Of course I subbed abmat situps and good mornings since I don't own a GHD.

CrossFit Lamont
No Gym Required

A Good Dog Story

Melvin at dog-friendly Jekyll Island

Why do people write sad, tragic stories about animals? Especially dogs! I'm reading this book, Gods in Alabama, and I just finished a chapter with a horrible story about the death of the family dog, Buddy. It upset me so much that I had to get out of bed to try and get my mind on something else. There were two other deaths in the same chapter--a man and a young boy. And the book opened with a murder. (My goodness, this is a dark book! Maybe too dark for my sensitive nature and fragile mood.) But it was the death of Buddy that did me in. Ms. Jackson may be too raw and depressing for me. Not sure if I will be able to finish Gods in Alabama. I'll see how I feel tomorrow and how the next chapter starts out.

For now I'm thinking about my beloved Melvin who is sleeping at my feet in the foot-well of my desk. Anytime I'm at the computer, that's probably where you will find him. Earlier tonight he was resting happily in one of the piles of dirty laundry I had sorted on the bedroom floor. He loves my dirty laundry; I take that as a compliment. Another favorite resting spot is the air vent where he plops down after a walk or game of fetch. And have I shared how he lets me know it is time to play? Almost everyday around 5pm he leaves the office and returns a short time later. "Click, click, click." His nails on the hardwood floor. "Bump-bumpity-bump-bump." Tennis ball dropped and bounced my way. Big smile! Warm heart! I grab the ball, and we head outside.

Now that's a good dog story!

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I like to think happy thoughts."
~ my grandmother ~

For Kenny: Winds of Change

" Autumn on the Horizon"
by Duh Huynh

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
~ unknown ~

"Change is the only constant."
~ Proverb ~

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."
~ Henri Bergson ~

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

~ John F Kennedy ~

"All things change; nothing perishes."

~ Ovid ~

"Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine."

~ Robert C Gallagher ~

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."

~ Arnold Bennett ~

"Other things may change, but we start and end with family."

~ Anthony Brandt ~

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kenny, whatever you choose, I support you. And isn't it great to have choices! Everything is going to be just fine. Love you, friend. Keep me posted.

A Funny Looking Guy

My "Frankly Scarlet" day lilies are blooming!

Last night I stumbled upon a PBS special, Excuses Begone by Wayne Dyer. I only caught a few minutes of it, but it was a powerful few minutes. A funny looking guy named Dan Caro was speaking. My first instinct was to surf right past this strange man. But I heard just enough to realize that he was talking about not making excuses. If anyone could reasonably make excuses, it's this fellow. He had no hands, and his face and head were scarred, almost disfigured. I thought I might be able to learn something from him, so I kept listening. As a young boy he was burned horribly in a house fire. He went on to tell how he struggled as a child to learn to tie his shoes. He described his first attempts in kindergarten, along with the rest of his classmates--who of course accomplished the same goal in short order. And then he recounted the first time he successfully tied his shoe laces. At age 12. Seven years later! He considers this the single greatest accomplishment of his life. He didn't say this, but I think it's because of the persistence and perseverance it took. The believing against all reason that it took. The absolute unwillingness to accept the excuses he may have been tempted to make for himself. Or the excuses others may have offered him. The man has no hands! How does someone with no hands and fingers grasp a shoe lace -- let alone do anything with it? Belief. Hard work. Unrelenting practice. Try, try again.

Turns out that Dan Caro is an accomplished musician. He plays the drums! It was awesome to watch and hear! Just imagine what it took for this young man with no hands to learn to play the drums. Belief. Hard work. Unrelenting practice. Try, try again.

"Never, never, never give up."
~ Wintson Churchill ~

Finding It

The trails at Lullwater provide sanctuary for soul searching.
. . . for finding it.

For a while now I've been thinking that the title "Losing It" no longer suits my blog. It started as a play on words -- a big nod to my goal of losing weight and a sneaky wink at my frustration with my seeming inability to do so. But this blog is so much more to me now. It's about a much bigger goal of wholeness--physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. My weight is such a tiny, tiny (no sarcastic pun intended) portion of who I am. Even exercise, nutrition, physical fitness, and certainly CrossFit are just pieces of the puzzle. Plus I've come to realize it is nearly impossible to lose anything that you are constantly fixated on.

So I'm renaming the blog "Finding It" in celebration of all that I am learning, the personal growth I am experiencing, and my renewed commitment to focus on the whole person.

(Yes, that's Melvin in the picture above, striking a pose in the late day sun.)

Idle Your Motor

I'm in need of patience these days. I'm in a transition phase right now; I'm shifting gears; I'm changing directions. And not just a slight veer to the left or the right. More like a u-turn. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, and I need to remain patient. So today's blog is a study in patience and what it means to wait patiently. Who likes to wait? No one. But sometimes that is exactly what we have to do.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.
- Rainer Maria Rilke -

All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope.
- Alexandre Dumas Père -

Patience is the companion to wisdom.
- St Augustine -

Let nothing disturb thee; let nothing dismay thee; all things pass; God never changes. Patience attains all that it strives for.
- St Teresa of Avila -

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy -

He that can have patience, can have what he will.
- Benjamin Franklin -

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things - with resignation, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.
- Corazon Aquino -

The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.
- Ralph Marston -

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
- Barbara Johnson -

The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile.
- unknown -

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.
- Arnold H. Glasgow -

Patience is passion tamed.
- Lyman Abbott -

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age.
- Elliot Paul -

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
- Buddhist Proverb -

One minute of patience, ten years of peace.
- Greek proverb -

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau -

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.
- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton -

On Contrast

In My Garden Today
Hosta 'Sum & Substance'
Autumn Fern

This morning I paused to appreciate the beautiful combination created by the big bold leaves of Hosta 'Sum & Substance' and the delicate, finely cut foliage of Autumn Fern. These two plants are nice enough individually, but put them together, and they make a striking combination. Both are green--the same shade of green. And they are about the same size. It's the contrast in texture that creates this outstanding duet. That's one of the keys to good garden design: knowing how to put individual plants together so that the resulting contrast is an appealing composition. It's the contrast that creates the clarity and beauty.

And so it is with our lives as well. It's the contrast that gives life its richness and meaning, that helps us clarify what we want and what we don't want, that makes us interesting and keeps us interested. It's the contrast that makes life real and worth living.

If there be light, then there is darkness; if cold, then heat; if height, depth also; if solid, then fluid; hardness and softness, roughness and smoothness, calm and tempest, prosperity and adversity, life and death.
~ Pythagoras ~

Stinky Stew to Joyful Brew

I need to clear my mind of junky, negative thoughts that are swirling around in there like a big, stinky stew. I can't give them anymore time or attention right now. And the best way to stop thinking about one thing is to start thinking about something else. So I whipped out this bright, cheery photo that I took of some favorite things:

A bed of chartreuse "Creeping Jenny",
blue gardening clogs,
old french watering can,
red paisley PJ's,
early morning garden walk,
simplicity,
the proper perspective,
solitude.

Stinky stew to joyful brew in less than 60 seconds.

On Making Mistakes

My workout yesterday consisted of unloading the equipment from the truck and carrying it to the porch. Fifty feet max. Right now I feel like I could easily never workout again.

"Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure?" ~ Og Mandino

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." ~ W.C. Fields

Oh My

"Moth Mother"
by Duy Huynh

Oh my. I submitted the article I wrote about Shana, ("Come On", February 16) to Lisbeth for consideration for the Affiliate Blog. The neat thing is that she published it. The scary thing is that she published it on the same day that the topic is "outstanding female athletes over age 40." And she sort of included me in that category. I panicked when I read it and thought, "oh no, did I misrepresent myself? She has me confused with some other PatC. Is there anyway I can get a retraction printed before anyone reads it?" Then I thought, no she's not talking about me. Her reference to "outstanding female athlete/affiliate owner" is a reference to Shana. Please let it be a reference to Shana. I am as uncomfortable with that description as I am in jeans that are two sizes too small.

Silly me. I'm working on fitting into those jeans and into that image--outstanding female athlete. I've got the female part nailed.... The rest will come.

Under the Azaleas

Sunday Brunch
Scrambled eggs with veggies & canadian bacon
Mixed greens with tomato and avocado

I'm definitely back on track. Yes, the nuts and ice cream are out of the house; I took care of that Tuesday night! (Thanks for asking Rachel!) Yesterday was a good day. I'm proud of myself for limiting Tuesday night's failing to just what I called it. A blip. No big deal. It's not what we do on one particular night that matters so much but what we do consistently over the long haul.

On a different note, I have to share the highlight of my day yesterday. I did a CrossFit workout on my own, at home, after I did the scheduled HQ Push Jerk at the gym. I did the CFED dumbbell workout from Tuesday. What a great little workout. It's hard for me to keep the intensity up when I work out by myself, but since this workout is so quick (I finished in 10:10), I was able to really keep the pressure on. Plus I was gunning for Meeks' time of 8:54. When I finished, I collapsed on the patio--that great CrossFit collapse that we all love. While I was doing the workout, Melvin hid under the azaleas. When I was finished, he came over and gave me a lick. That's Wednesday's happy grateful bit.

Just a Blip

I escaped last night. I went to visit a friend who knows nothing about CrossFit and has no interest in CrossFit. She's not fixated on diet, food, or working out so we didn't talk about that either. We talked about her place at the beach, birds, photography, our dogs, TV shows, Facebook, current events, and just stuff. It was nice. She made coffee and we had dessert with the coffee. Cherry cobbler with a little scoop of ice cream. It was yummy. If I'm going to eat sweets, this is a good way for me to do it--at someone else's house with someone else around.

I stopped at Publix on the way home for a couple of things I needed and ended up buying nuts. Remember what happens when I buy nuts. So I ate a whole bunch of nuts on the drive home and more when I got home. I also bought a pint of ice cream. I had already had dessert at my friend's house. But that demon inside of me that loves sugar wanted more. I hate admitting that I ate nuts AND ice cream last night after having already had dessert. But I really want to change, and as long as I pretend this stuff did not happen, then it can continue to happen.

So I'm 'fessing up here this morning. I'm not going to let one bad evening change anything. I remain committed to healthy eating and getting lean. I remember what I want and why I want it. Last night was just a blip. I'm back on track and feeling good about it.

Serendipity

" The Wish"
~ by Duy Huynh ~

Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

You all know that I have gone out on a limb and signed up for a CrossFit Level I certification March 28-29 in Charlotte, North Carolina. I picked this particular certification because the date worked with my schedule and Charlotte is within driving distance. (I hate the hassle of flying.)

If you've followed the blog for a while, you also know that I love the artwork of Duy Huynh (pronounced yee wun). I have used images of his paintings on the blog numerous times. Besides being beautiful, many of his works speak to me about creating the life I want and making my dreams come true.

Well, I recently discovered that Duy Huynh's art gallery and studio, Lark and Key is located in Charlotte. Wow! What are the chances of that? Just a coincidence or a sign that I'm on the right track, that the road to my dreams runs through Charlotte?

I think the latter.

Eight Tenths

"Dreams of Flight"
~ by Duy Huynh ~

Thursday is my weigh-in day at Weight Watchers. Yesterday I was down 8/10 of a pound. My weight has nudged slowly downwards since the first of the year, and I am now back at my pre-Christmas weight. I am still heavier than my lowest point last summer so there remains ground to makeup. And more beyond that. But I'm thrilled about the 8/10 of a pound. And I know the rate of weight loss will only improve now that I am focused and motivated again.

That little voice in my head just said, "don't put that on the blog for everyone to read. What if you fail? What if your perceived turnaround is just a passing fluke and nothing has really changed at all? What if you just continue to flounder like you have for months?"

Well, here's my response to that little voice: "SHUT UP!" I have every intention of moving forward and reaching my goals. Sure, there's a risk. Success is not guaranteed. I have to do the work. I have to string together successful days like the past two. And I can do that. Yesterday was good. It wasn't so hard to eat right--to choose the apple over the chocolate; to have scrambled eggs and broccoli for breakfast, spinach and salmon salad for lunch, and a grilled chicken salad for dinner. It was actually all very tasty and satisfying. For dessert last night I had some frozen cherries with plain non-fat yogurt and a few drops of stevia. Later I had a cup of herbal tea with a splash of soy milk.

I don't feel deprived at all. I feel very good, and I like this feeling. I can do this.