The Last Remaining Remnants

I am ready to take the final steps in changing my relationship with food. I don’t eat sugar anymore. Or bread or pasta or other grains. I don’t eat in the car anymore; I no longer stop at the Quicktrip to load up on candy for a long journey. Or a short one across town. A spat with my best friend no longer sends me head first into a vat of Haagen Dazs. I can go to the movies now without consuming a large popcorn and M&M’s. A week at my cabin is no longer an excuse to eat junk or an escape from the healthy life I choose to live. Little Debbie doesn’t speak my language anymore, and I pity – not envy – the people tossing her in their carts. I can walk any aisle in the grocery store now and barely give a second glance to the processed, sugar-filled, transfat-laden poison lining the shelves. I can now easily decline the birthday cake at a friend’s party. I can eat just the ham and leave the biscuit. I am comfortable saying, “No thank you,” and not offended when the retort comes back, “What’s wrong with you?” I’ve changed. I have really changed.

And now it is time to finish the job and eliminate the remaining obstacles keeping me from I want. It’s not the fruit, which I sometimes eat a lot of. It’s not the carrots or the sweet potatoes. It’s definitely not the meat or the eggs or the vegetables. And probably not the cream in my coffee or the real butter in my cauliflower mash. It's not the food at all, really.  It’s the fairly routine evening “check-out”. The mindless eating, even if it is “paleo.” It’s the grazing after dinner when I’m not even hungry. It’s the almonds that I mindlessly consume while I watch TV and play on the computer. It’s the mixed nuts that I feverishly crunch to tamp down work-related stress. It’s the bag of "trail mix" that I can easily consume on a Friday evening at home. Alone. It’s the last remaining remnants of bad habits formed over a lifetime of using food to cope and escape. Well, I no longer need food to cope, and I no longer need to escape. It’s time to finish the job.

I Prefer The Latter

This picture was taken post-workout on December 3.  Laura emailed it to me that very evening, and in her note she said the picture was beautiful.  Wow!  What a gift to have a coach who can see beauty in its various forms -- who can see the beauty in me.  Four weeks ago I was given a label of "obese".  Four days ago I was given a new one.  "Beautiful".   I prefer the latter.

This picture is important and significant to me, not because of what my coach sees or anyone else for that matter, but because of what I see.  I see the beauty.  The strength.  The transformation.    I wish for you the same -- the freedom to see your own beauty, right now. Right where you are, just as you are. We are all beautiful in our own way.  Sometimes we just need others to help us see it. 

I am reminded of the words I recently shared from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.  Worth sharing again, I think.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

Powerful Beyond Measure

"Awakening"
by Duy Huynh

from A Return to Love
by Marianne Williamson


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Happy New Year

A single, old-fashioned Christmas light shines brightly against the winter woods,
framed perfectly by the porch railings of the cabin.

That photograph is one of my favorites from the Christmas holidays. I took it on Christmas Eve at the cabin, mid-afternoon, just before the rain started. It was a cold, gray day, but I was happy, toasting pecans in the oven, and preparing to head over to Mama's house for the family festivities. I never got around to sharing it with you during the holidays so I decided to use it today. For me it captures the slight melancholy that I feel now that we must return to normal. The lights are out. The parties are over. Work looms on Monday. I'm a little sad to see it all end.

Time to turn our view to the future. It's a new year. And a new decade. Rather than looking back, we can look forward to a fresh year with a fresh start. Maybe you've set some resolutions for yourself. I think it's in vogue now to say that you don't do New Year's resolutions. But I do. I'm always setting goals for myself and trying to improve in this area or that. It's just my nature. And of course, I fail a lot and have to start over. Or adjust my expectations. But still, I like setting goals and thinking about what I want for myself and others in the future. I won't bore you with all the details of my 2010 resolutions. Suffice it to say that I continue to pursue good health and happiness. And I wish the same for you.

A friend of mine posted the following quote on her Facebook page on New Year's Day. I liked it a lot. I hope you do too. Happy New Year, friends.

Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more, with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.
~Henry Ward Beecher~

Consistency, Thou Art a Jewel

A sensible indulgence:
Strawberries dipped in dark, bittersweet chocolate (72% cacao).

"Consistency, thou art a jewel." I heard this quote for the first time recently, and it struck a cord with me. The person I heard use the quote is a UGA football player - he's a kicker or snaps for the kicker or something like that. I can't remember exactly. But the point he was making was important, and I do remember that. As a youth, his father encouraged him to practice, practice, practice. "Consistency, thou art a jewel," his father would say. And now that young man is doing his thing, whatever it is, at a major university. The practice and consistency paid off. When he arrived at UGA he discovered the quote his father had said to him over and over again painted on the walls of the training facility.

I liked that story and how it came full circle when the young man achieved his goal, arrived on campus, and found the wise words often used by his father inscribed there. We become what we routinely do. Sometimes the progress is slower than we would like. It takes time to develop new skills or change old habits. But change does come when we are consistent and patient. Consistency, thou art a jewel.

On a mundane note, I wanted to share the picture of the chocolate dipped strawberries. I just melted some high quality, bittersweet chocolate, dipped the strawberries and then put them in the fridge for a little while for the chocolate to set. Guess what? When you don't eat sugar all the time, bittersweet chocolate actually tastes sweet. This is an easy, pretty, sensible indulgence for those holiday parties . . . or just for you when you need it.

The Difference a Day Makes

Some of the fruits and veggies I bought at the market.

It really is so true that one day can make all the difference. When you are having a hard time, when you are way off track, when you can't even see the track from where you are, just remind yourself that one good day can make all the difference. I feel 100% better than I did this time last night. Than this morning even.

My turnaround started with the decision to attend a Weight Watcher meeting last night. I went to my meeting, faced the scale, and held myself accountable for my actions over the last few weeks. Then I sat down in the chair to learn from and be encouraged by others. Sue, my leader, issued a challenge that we eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. Specifically, eat a minimum of 3 different colors of fruits and veggies every day over the next week. Not just apples and broccoli everyday. Mix it up. It's more nutritious. And more interesting and satisfying.

So today went well eating wise. I made good choices and kept my food journal. I also kept my appointment to have my knee checked out. Good news. I'm going to live and my knee will recover if I will let it. The prescription is massage and physical therapy. Working out is fine, but I have to continue to modify/scale the workouts and absolutely stay away (for now) from things like thrusters and box hops --power moves that put a lot of stress on the knee.

So my next big challenge is to start gym shopping. . .

On the Verge of Something Great

Myra practices deadlifts.
We "made do" with what we had: a big stick and milk crates from the back of my truck.

My sister, Myra asked me to help her get started with CrossFit. Myra is 51. She and her husband, Phil will celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary on June 23rd. Myra has spent those 25 years in complete devotion to her family. She has built a beautiful home and life in Athens and has raised up two great children, Abbie and Joseph. But now it's time to focus on taking care of herself and getting healthy. She's married to one of the greatest guys around, and I'm sure he has been encouraging this for a long time. I know he will support her efforts.

This is an exciting time for Myra, and it's fun to think what the next year can bring. Those of us who CrossFit know that it can transform your life if you are consistent and put in the hard work. Of course you will get stronger, faster, more flexible. You will become more coordinated. You will have greater stamina and endurance. You will be able to move your body with greater ease. You will find yourself doing things you haven't thought of doing in 40 years. Running. Jumping. Playing on monkey bars even! You will develop greater confidence. Your mood will improve. You'll find yourself bragging about your new PR on the deadlift. You will start to think about yourself differently; you may even start to feel like an athlete. You are on the verge of something great. I hope you will embrace it and allow yourself to have this. You deserve it!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

For Myra's intro to CrossFit, we worked on the squat, the deadlift, the shoulder press, pushups, and situps. Then we did a little workout using some of what we had just covered:

3 Rounds for Time:

10 deadlifts with dowel
15 squats
20 step-ups
100 meter brisk walk

I gave Myra an out after two rounds. I told her she could stop; the third round was up to her. She chose to keep going and complete the third round. That's the CrossFit attitude!

For Kenny: Winds of Change

" Autumn on the Horizon"
by Duh Huynh

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are for what you could become."
~ unknown ~

"Change is the only constant."
~ Proverb ~

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly."
~ Henri Bergson ~

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

~ John F Kennedy ~

"All things change; nothing perishes."

~ Ovid ~

"Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine."

~ Robert C Gallagher ~

"Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."

~ Arnold Bennett ~

"Other things may change, but we start and end with family."

~ Anthony Brandt ~

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Kenny, whatever you choose, I support you. And isn't it great to have choices! Everything is going to be just fine. Love you, friend. Keep me posted.

A Funny Looking Guy

My "Frankly Scarlet" day lilies are blooming!

Last night I stumbled upon a PBS special, Excuses Begone by Wayne Dyer. I only caught a few minutes of it, but it was a powerful few minutes. A funny looking guy named Dan Caro was speaking. My first instinct was to surf right past this strange man. But I heard just enough to realize that he was talking about not making excuses. If anyone could reasonably make excuses, it's this fellow. He had no hands, and his face and head were scarred, almost disfigured. I thought I might be able to learn something from him, so I kept listening. As a young boy he was burned horribly in a house fire. He went on to tell how he struggled as a child to learn to tie his shoes. He described his first attempts in kindergarten, along with the rest of his classmates--who of course accomplished the same goal in short order. And then he recounted the first time he successfully tied his shoe laces. At age 12. Seven years later! He considers this the single greatest accomplishment of his life. He didn't say this, but I think it's because of the persistence and perseverance it took. The believing against all reason that it took. The absolute unwillingness to accept the excuses he may have been tempted to make for himself. Or the excuses others may have offered him. The man has no hands! How does someone with no hands and fingers grasp a shoe lace -- let alone do anything with it? Belief. Hard work. Unrelenting practice. Try, try again.

Turns out that Dan Caro is an accomplished musician. He plays the drums! It was awesome to watch and hear! Just imagine what it took for this young man with no hands to learn to play the drums. Belief. Hard work. Unrelenting practice. Try, try again.

"Never, never, never give up."
~ Wintson Churchill ~

Thanks, Mama

Mama did her first CrossFit workout ever today at the elementary school in Ila, Georgia!
I'm so proud of her that I named her first workout in her honor.


"Nettie Jo"

3 Rounds for Time:
Walk 1-Lap Around Playground
10 Push-ups
5 Sit-ups

The highlight of my weekend was a Sunday morning workout with my mom. I spent the last few days at the cabin, and on Saturday I spotted pull-up bars at the Ila Elementary School. I mentioned to Mama that I was planning to workout there on Sunday morning. She said she might like to join me. I hoped she would, but didn't count on it. She's 68, has suffered two mild strokes, and has been having lots of health issues lately, especially with her hips. I thought she might not be up to it when the time came. But when I stopped by her house Sunday morning on my way to the school playground, she popped up, ready to go.

I designed the above WOD for her and another one for me. After explaining the workout, I said "3-2-1-GO!" and we hit it. I did a Fran/Helen inspired workout of dumbbell thrusters, pull-ups, and running. I hate thrusters, and running isn't my favorite either, but nothing gets my endorphins flowing better than these two exercises, so I figured why not do them both!

Mama was quite the trooper. She did well with the walking. Because of her prior strokes, she's unsteady on her feet. But she was careful with each step, and did better on the second and third laps than the first. She did modified, incline push-ups on a wall. She did so well with these that I told her we have to make them more difficult next time! :-) The sit-ups were challenging for her, but not TOO challenging. The hardest part of the sit-ups was getting up and down from the ground. That's part of it though, and she'll just get better and stronger as a result. And she clearly understands how all of this involves functional movements that will aid her with everyday living. She finished her workout in around 21 minutes.

It was so rewarding to share this with my mom. And what an example she is! If she can begin this at 68 after two strokes, then certainly I can continue it at 48. Thanks for the inspiration, Mama. I needed it.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
~ George Eliot ~

A Decision and One Ounce of Discipline

"Snow on the Long Leaf"
Carolina Sandhills National Wildlife Refuge
photograph by Jack Culpepper

Today was weigh-in day for me. Down 1.2 pounds, and I am pleased. It may not sound like much, but I have worked so hard to turn things around and get headed in the right direction. So much of the battle for me is mental and emotional. Scratch that. 98% of the battle for me is mental and emotional. And add to that the fact that my body seems to have declared recently, with a vengeance that "I am 48, and I no longer want to let go of body fat!" Talk about frustration! I have been so frustrated with my failure to drop the weight that I think my efforts deserve. So when I stepped on the scale today and Charlotte told me I was down 1.2, I was thrilled.

This week I cranked up my activity a little. Research shows that people who want to lose weight need 60-90 minutes of moderate exercise most days for the greatest success. So when the CrossFit workout is 20 minutes, even though it is an intense 20 minutes, I need to add more activity to my day--especially since my normal routine is so sedentary. I sit at a desk all day long. And the desk I sit at is in my own house, for goodness sake! I don't even have to walk to my car. So this girl has to make a point to MOVE. This week I added a little jogging on a couple of days, I increased my walking, and I did some yard work over the weekend. Oh, and I went shopping several different times which involves moving your body around the mall. Shopping is good.

I also kept my food diary this week. Fact is that people who keep a food diary eat less food. I've just got to do it. It's worth it, and it's not that hard. I mean it's not like it requires any skill or smarts or hard work or even much effort to keep a food diary. All it takes is a decision and about one ounce of discipline. I can write down what I put in my mouth. If I want to lose the weight I will write it down. It's as simple as that.

I'm off to St Simons for the weekend to attend Rachel's wedding and for a little R&R. Have a great weekend everyone! See you on the blog next week.

Eight Tenths

"Dreams of Flight"
~ by Duy Huynh ~

Thursday is my weigh-in day at Weight Watchers. Yesterday I was down 8/10 of a pound. My weight has nudged slowly downwards since the first of the year, and I am now back at my pre-Christmas weight. I am still heavier than my lowest point last summer so there remains ground to makeup. And more beyond that. But I'm thrilled about the 8/10 of a pound. And I know the rate of weight loss will only improve now that I am focused and motivated again.

That little voice in my head just said, "don't put that on the blog for everyone to read. What if you fail? What if your perceived turnaround is just a passing fluke and nothing has really changed at all? What if you just continue to flounder like you have for months?"

Well, here's my response to that little voice: "SHUT UP!" I have every intention of moving forward and reaching my goals. Sure, there's a risk. Success is not guaranteed. I have to do the work. I have to string together successful days like the past two. And I can do that. Yesterday was good. It wasn't so hard to eat right--to choose the apple over the chocolate; to have scrambled eggs and broccoli for breakfast, spinach and salmon salad for lunch, and a grilled chicken salad for dinner. It was actually all very tasty and satisfying. For dessert last night I had some frozen cherries with plain non-fat yogurt and a few drops of stevia. Later I had a cup of herbal tea with a splash of soy milk.

I don't feel deprived at all. I feel very good, and I like this feeling. I can do this.

Nary a Shameful Thing

I ate a lot of steamed broccoli yesterday
--breakfast, lunch and dinner!

I made it through yesterday without any major slip-ups. By the end of the day I felt like a baseball player sliding into home plate, just narrowly avoiding the tag. The day started out great, and I actually felt energized by the article, "A Growing Resolve" that I had written for the Wednesday blog. Early in the day, I didn't have enough protein so I was hungry again after a short while. But I had a good, balanced lunch which left me feeling more satisfied through the afternoon. By dinner, I was hungry again and really tempted to eat more than I needed. I had an extra serving of steamed broccoli and some blueberries. No harm done. After dinner, I braved the thunderstorm and the tornado warning to run out to Publix to buy more protein so that I don't find myself in the same situation again today. I bought some eggs, low fat cottage cheese, and canadian bacon. I wanted to buy some type of fish or meat to cook, but once again I was overwhelmed by the rawness of it and what to do with it. So I passed. I looked at the rotisserie chickens, but they gross me out these days, so I passed on those as well.

Of course I wasn't grossed out in the least by all the sugary, high-fat, artery-clogging, diabetes-inducing carbohydrates that I kept bumping into. But I managed to escape without buying any. I didn't debate it or even give it consideration. I remembered the commitment I have made to myself and left Publix with nary a shameful thing in my cart.

A Growing Resolve

The Daffodils are Blooming!

Can you feel it? Can you feel Spring in the air? It's still cold outside, and we still have plenty of winter mornings at the gym on icy pull up bars, but I can feel that spring is coming. We've had a string of beautiful, sunny days. Cold but not too cold. And beautiful. I've had the itch to get outside and work in my yard recently. I have been doing the winter cleanup--cutting back all the perennials and pruning the roses. Laying fresh pine straw. I'm getting my garden ready for the flush of spring. It's a wonderful time of year for gardeners. From now through June, I love walking through my garden every morning, with coffee in hand, to see what new thing has developed. Right now, the daffodils and 'Georgia Blue' veronica have center stage. Both are blooming. The english bluebells have started to break through the earth. While it will be weeks before the average person notices the bluebells, just the sight of the bright green stalks starting to poke through the pine straw is exciting to me. I love this time of year in the garden.

I want to feel a similar excitement as it relates to my fitness. So I thought it would be helpful to think about upcoming events. Rachel's wedding is just a few weeks away. I'm attending a CrossFit Level I Certification at the end of March. I have shared this with only a few of you, knowing that once I admit it, I'll have to get serious about preparing myself for it. (Well, I guess this means I'm ready to get serious.) I plan to attend the CrossFit Regional Qualifier April 25-26 in support of Shana and Tommy. And oh Lord, I plan to attend my 30th high school reunion in June. If that list isn't enough to get me seriously motivated, then I don't know WHAT will motivate me.

I have to confess that I don't feel a burning, hyped-up motivation to prepare for any of these events. But I do feel a growing resolve to change and move forward. So it's in this spirit that I am making the following two commitments to myself.

One: I'm back to following the HQ schedule for my workouts. That won't be too hard for me...at least not from a commitment standpoint. Each individual workout presents it's own challenge, but I will show up to the gym with a good attitude and do my best on each workout.

Two: I'm stepping it up a notch on the diet. I know I can drop body fat when I take it seriously and do all the basic things one must do to lose weight. I'm ready to do those things. I'll be weighing in weekly at Weight Watchers, keeping my food journal, and following the Weight Watchers program with an emphasis on paelo-style eating (lean protein, fruits and vegetables).

As always, I will report on my progess and struggles. I remain grateful to all of you for your support and encouragement.

"I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life's greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret."

~ Anthony Robbins ~

"Come On"

"Shana"

My Coach and My Friend

I've been in a bit of a funk recently. My die-hard dedication to working out has faded a little. We all know I struggle with eating right from time to time, but I'm dedicated to the WOD. Since I started crossfitting in August of 2007, I have consistently worked out five, sometimes six times per week. I plan my life around when I'm going to workout. But recently, I have found myself tempted to skip; my usual 5-6 workouts per week has relaxed to 4 or 5. And this past week, I made it all the way to Friday with only TWO workouts under my belt! And then "Fran" popped up. I was already struggling, and "Fran" was all it took to send me back under my rock. No way was I up for that on Friday. I made the decision to skip the workout and start the weekend early....head out to the cabin Friday evening instead of Saturday morning. Yep, that's what I decided to do.

And then about 2pm Friday the text messages started. I had told Shana the previous evening that I would do "Fran" at 4:30. (We had a late owners' meeting on Thursday, and the Friday WOD was discussed before we broke.) So when Shana failed to see my name on the schedule for Friday, the texting began. My first reaction was to ignore her messages. Have you ever tried to ignore Shana? Enough said. So then I decided to be direct and firm. "No, not working out today." That didn't work so then I tried being open and honest. "I'm feeling depressed and just don't have the energy for Fran." That honest admission led to a barrage of text messages from Shana...no waiting for my reply....just a constant, nagging stream of texts with one clear message: "Come on."

I've never been able to ignore those two simple words from Shana. "Come on" gets me back on the bar every time. It makes me run a little faster; press a little harder. Every time.

So I dragged my tired, depressed ass to the gym, not knowing how in the world I would manage to do "Fran." And Shana said, "You'll do your best. That's all anyone can ask of you...just do your best." My best was 4:25 slower than when I did "Fran" back in December. But it didn't matter because I felt relief from my depressed mood and tremendous gratitude for my coach and friend.

Canine Inspiration

"Stump"

Sussex Spaniel

Best in Show

Westminster 2009

Did you hear about the Sussex Spaniel named "Stump" who won Best in Show at this year's Westminster dog show? If you know anything about dogs, you know that Westminster is the dog show of all dog shows. And you probably also know that age-ten is getting on up there in dog years; it equates to about 70 in human years. Well, Stump is ten, and he came out of retirement to participate in Westminster this year. He won his breed, defeating his son in the process. He won his group, the Sporting Group. And then he went on to win Best in Show, becoming the first Sussex Spaniel and the oldest dog ever to win Westminster. Even more inspiring is the fact that Stump competed in Westminster back in 2004. He did well, winning his breed and his group, but he failed to take the top prize. He retired from the show circuit that year and later became seriously ill and nearly died.

But Stump wasn't finished. This old dog still had dreams. So he staged a come back, proving (in the words of George Eliot), "it is never too late to be what you might have been."

Just Add a Few Drops of Palmolive

Enough of the deep, philosophical and spiritual ruminations of the last few days. I just want to lose weight already! I want to look good. It's pretty simple, really. I just want to quit eating junk and quit eating when I'm not hungry. Oh for it to be that simple...

Yesterday I found myself with a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter cup miniatures in the shape of hearts. I picked them up on the way home from my Weight Watcher meeting! How crazy is that? After a lunch of high-calorie trail-mix which I scarfed down while feverishly working to finish a project for my boss, I ate a few of the candies. Then a few more. At this point, I was aware of what I was doing, and a voice inside my head was telling me to stop. "You are not hungry; you don't want this crap. Stop Eating." I ate a couple more. The voice grew louder. "STOP EATING! YOU ARE NOT HUNGRY!" I walked to the kitchen, considered the trash can, but then grabbed a bowl, poured the chocolates in and covered them with water. For good measure, I added a few drops of Palmolive to the mix. Just to make sure they were inedible.

That's not a pretty picture, and you may even be thinking, "she's never going to get a handle on this. She's hopeless." I've certainly thought it in the past; less so lately. The odds are in my favor. Every time I try, my odds of success improve. I don't know anyone who has demonstrated more persistence than me. Or who has been more honest and open about her shortcomings....who has shined the light of truth on her ugly parts and invited all her friends to have a look. And I have a track record of success. I'm 60 pounds lighter than my all time high. Yeah, so I'm up a few pounds over the last few months; the general trend over the years has been in the right direction. So what if I'm not your typical CrossFitter who followed a straight-line trajectory to ideal weight and perfect pullups. So what if the Zone and Paleo have not been a magic bullet for this wacky girl? I'm real. I'm alright. When I make it (and I will), there will be many who can relate and take inspiration from my story. Yes, many others just like me who find taming a CrossFit workout is nothing compared to beating the bitch of emotional eating.

Back to Basics - Remembering What and Why

New Leaves

by Duy Huynh

It's time to get back to basics. The holidays are over. My birthday has come and gone. The new business isn't quite so overwhelming now. It's the third week of January already. Yes, it is definitely time to get back to basics.

So this entire week will be devoted to the fundamentals. For me, fundamentally, it starts with remembering what I want and why I want it.

And what I want is a healthy relationship with food. I want to use food to nourish my body, not my heart and soul, and not as a means to punish myself. I want to reach and maintain a healthy weight. I want to look and feel great. I want the lightness of being that comes from taking care of myself, regardless of the number on the scale. I want to load up the back of the truck with all my fat clothes and dump them in front of GoodWill. (What I really want is to set them on fire in the front yard, but I'll be a good citizen and donate them to GoodWill.) I want to shop for an entire new wardrobe. I want to walk into the 2009 holiday season at my goal weight. I want to ring in 2010 in the best shape of my life. I want to be one good-looking, life-loving, crossfitting, inspirational, victorious woman. I want to defy all the odds, surprise myself, blow my mind, turn my world upside down and complete my transformation--the transformation which has already happened on the inside--my physical form is just slow to catch up to what I have already become. But it will. Soon. Very soon.

Motivating Factors

“People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”

~ Zig Ziglar ~

I am trying to get back to basics now that the holidays and my birthday are behind me. One thing that always seems to help me get re-focused is to think about why I want to lose weight. Here are some of my reasons:

1. I am now a gym owner, and I really don't want to be an overweight gym owner!
2. A very special friend is getting married in March, and I would like to buy a new dress and look really good for her wedding.
3. My 30th High School Reunion is coming up in June. Need I say more?
4. All my CrossFitting will improve when I lose weight.
5. I want new clothes.

I am sure there must be lots of other good, motivating factors. It's late, and I am having trouble remembering what they are. Maybe you all can help me out by sharing your list.

I Believe I Can Fly

I Believe I Can Fly
by R. Kelly

I believe I can fly,

I believe I can touch the sky,

I think about it every night and day,

Spread my wings and fly away,

I believe I can soar,

I see me running through that open door,

I believe I can fly.

There are miracles in life I must achieve,

But first I know it starts inside of me,

If I can see it, then I can do it,

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it.

Hey, cuz I believe in me,

If I can see it, then I can be it,

If I just believe it, there's nothing to it,

Hey, if I just spread my wings,

I can fly.

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I love this song by R. Kelly. If you have time and could use a little extra inspiration to start your day (week, year), click here for the link to the "I Believe I Can Fly" video.

This song touches on many of the themes we have talked about on this blog over the past months. It's all about seeing what you want. It's about changing from the inside out. It's about believing in yourself. Believing in miracles. It's about spreading your wings so you can fly!

At my Weight Watcher meeting on the evening of December 30, Sue led us in a great visualization exercise. Her instructions were to close your eyes and imagine that it's one year from this moment. You are sitting in the same exact chair. How do you feel? What have you accomplished in the last year? What's different in your life? Even in the short time we had to devote to this exercise during the meeting, it made an impact on me. I thought it would be a good exercise for the blog. So here goes for me.

Fast forward one year to January 5, 2010, and here is what I can report. In 2009, I finally got a handle on food and the role it plays in my life. I now use food to nourish my body, not my heart and soul. I feed my soul through writing, reading, meditation, yoga, the cabin, animals, nature, family, and friends. As a result, I am now at a healthy weight. I look and feel great. My CrossFit performance has improved dramatically as a result of the changes in my diet and dropping the extra pounds. I'm faster and stronger. I can do kipping pull ups, unbroken double-unders, and a hand-stand. The 24" box doesn't scare me anymore. I even got my Level I CrossFit certification. (Sheryl did too!) CFED is thriving and helping people change their lives. Being an owner in CFED is a tremendous blessing in my life, and I'm pleased that I was able to maintain balance in my life despite the added responsibilities of being an owner. I found "Mark Darcy" who likes me just as I am. Melvin continues to do well; he is happy and healthy. The cabin now has water and in-door plumbing. I also installed a set of pull-up bars at the cabin and added some basic equipment so that I can workout when I'm there. I still love to go there regularly to get away and to spend time with my family. My life is good.

Now it's your turn! Fast-forward one year from this exact moment. What is going on in your life? How do you feel? What happened in 2009?