Thanks, Mama

Mama did her first CrossFit workout ever today at the elementary school in Ila, Georgia!
I'm so proud of her that I named her first workout in her honor.


"Nettie Jo"

3 Rounds for Time:
Walk 1-Lap Around Playground
10 Push-ups
5 Sit-ups

The highlight of my weekend was a Sunday morning workout with my mom. I spent the last few days at the cabin, and on Saturday I spotted pull-up bars at the Ila Elementary School. I mentioned to Mama that I was planning to workout there on Sunday morning. She said she might like to join me. I hoped she would, but didn't count on it. She's 68, has suffered two mild strokes, and has been having lots of health issues lately, especially with her hips. I thought she might not be up to it when the time came. But when I stopped by her house Sunday morning on my way to the school playground, she popped up, ready to go.

I designed the above WOD for her and another one for me. After explaining the workout, I said "3-2-1-GO!" and we hit it. I did a Fran/Helen inspired workout of dumbbell thrusters, pull-ups, and running. I hate thrusters, and running isn't my favorite either, but nothing gets my endorphins flowing better than these two exercises, so I figured why not do them both!

Mama was quite the trooper. She did well with the walking. Because of her prior strokes, she's unsteady on her feet. But she was careful with each step, and did better on the second and third laps than the first. She did modified, incline push-ups on a wall. She did so well with these that I told her we have to make them more difficult next time! :-) The sit-ups were challenging for her, but not TOO challenging. The hardest part of the sit-ups was getting up and down from the ground. That's part of it though, and she'll just get better and stronger as a result. And she clearly understands how all of this involves functional movements that will aid her with everyday living. She finished her workout in around 21 minutes.

It was so rewarding to share this with my mom. And what an example she is! If she can begin this at 68 after two strokes, then certainly I can continue it at 48. Thanks for the inspiration, Mama. I needed it.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."
~ George Eliot ~

Love You, Rae

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that this new world is born.
~ Anias Nin ~

I met Rachel about a year ago when she first came to CFED. My immediate impression was that she was a beautiful, fit, young woman. As I got to know her, I learned that she is as kind and thoughtful as she is beautiful. I found her to be wise and mature beyond her years; she seemed a much older soul than her 28 years. She is a great listener and truly cares about other people. At such a young age she seems to have already figured out a lot of what really matters in life -- that in the end it's all about relationships, how we treat each other, who we love, and who loves us. I attended her wedding in March, and I was so touched by her love for her father -- it brought me to tears.

I will miss you Rae, but thanks to technology, we can still be in touch regularly. I'll visit you in Florida, and you'll visit us here in Atlanta. Love you, girl.

All the Difference

The Road Not Taken
~ Robert Frost ~

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

__________________________________________________

The popular interpretation of Frost's poem is that it is about individualism. It is commonly interpreted as inspiration for marching to your own drummer. However, critics have interpreted it as a work of irony, and this is the view that seems to make most sense to me, especially if you've read what Frost himself said about the poem. Also, the title, "The Road Not Taken" seems to be a big clue to me that this is a poem about looking back as much as it is about looking forward. In hindsight, after having made his choice, he waxes eloquent about the path he took, and he chooses to remember it romantically. Of course the path we choose makes all the difference. So choose carefully, on purpose, because there is no going back.

What Really Works

The chickadees are nesting in the birdhouse my brother installed for me years ago. The birds come back every year, and I am reminded of my sweet brother. I need to visit him soon!

I hope everyone is enjoying this first "unofficial" week of summer. I'm really busy with work preparing for our annual production planning meeting June 10-12. This is when we review our 3-year sales forecast and agree on all the plants we are going to grow. It's three days of excruciating detail. I run the show, so I've really got to stay focused. I still have lots to do in preparation.

On top of all that, I continue to deal with some other big stuff, and I am struggling to take care of myself. I have turned to food more than once these last few weeks for comfort and relief. Each time I'm reminded that food is not the answer to this problem. I was talking to a friend the other day about how I was feeling and the fact that I kept turning to food. She asked what else works? I was stumped at first. I couldn't think of what would make me feel better. But then I went to the gym and had a good workout. Afterwards I talked to Rae who asked how I was doing, and she really wanted to know the answer! It's a wonderful thing to have people in your life who truly care. She invited me to join her and some others for dinner. We had a great time relaxing and talking. Then Erica invited me to meet her for coffee on Saturday morning. We chatted it up for over two hours! Through all this, I realized that what really works is reaching out and opening up. I realized that I don't have to carry my burdens alone. I have great friends supporting me.

Finding It

The trails at Lullwater provide sanctuary for soul searching.
. . . for finding it.

For a while now I've been thinking that the title "Losing It" no longer suits my blog. It started as a play on words -- a big nod to my goal of losing weight and a sneaky wink at my frustration with my seeming inability to do so. But this blog is so much more to me now. It's about a much bigger goal of wholeness--physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. My weight is such a tiny, tiny (no sarcastic pun intended) portion of who I am. Even exercise, nutrition, physical fitness, and certainly CrossFit are just pieces of the puzzle. Plus I've come to realize it is nearly impossible to lose anything that you are constantly fixated on.

So I'm renaming the blog "Finding It" in celebration of all that I am learning, the personal growth I am experiencing, and my renewed commitment to focus on the whole person.

(Yes, that's Melvin in the picture above, striking a pose in the late day sun.)

Idle Your Motor

I'm in need of patience these days. I'm in a transition phase right now; I'm shifting gears; I'm changing directions. And not just a slight veer to the left or the right. More like a u-turn. It's not happening as quickly as I would like, and I need to remain patient. So today's blog is a study in patience and what it means to wait patiently. Who likes to wait? No one. But sometimes that is exactly what we have to do.

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.
- Rainer Maria Rilke -

All human wisdom is summed up in two words - wait and hope.
- Alexandre Dumas Père -

Patience is the companion to wisdom.
- St Augustine -

Let nothing disturb thee; let nothing dismay thee; all things pass; God never changes. Patience attains all that it strives for.
- St Teresa of Avila -

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time.
- Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy -

He that can have patience, can have what he will.
- Benjamin Franklin -

Patience and fortitude conquer all things.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

Faith is not simply a patience that passively suffers until the storm is past. Rather, it is a spirit that bears things - with resignation, yes, but above all, with blazing, serene hope.
- Corazon Aquino -

The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.
- Ralph Marston -

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
- Barbara Johnson -

The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile.
- unknown -

The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.
- Arnold H. Glasgow -

Patience is passion tamed.
- Lyman Abbott -

Patience makes a women beautiful in middle age.
- Elliot Paul -

If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.
- Buddhist Proverb -

One minute of patience, ten years of peace.
- Greek proverb -

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau -

Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength.
- Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton -

Berry Bash

Fresh Organic Strawberries and Blueberries

Last night I enjoyed a bowl of fresh strawberries and blueberries that my friend, Susan got for me at the Berry Bash on Emory campus on Tuesday. Apparently, Emory hosts a farmer's market every Tuesday afternoon, and this week they were showcasing berries. These were delicious. I was craving something sweet after dinner, and these really hit the spot. Thanks, Susan!

Blackberry Winter

Blackberry Winter:
A (mainly Southern) term used to describe a brief period of cold weather that coincides with the time the blackberries are in bloom, typically in early to mid May.

I went for a walk early this morning, and it was just plain cold. I had on a denim shirt over my t-shirt, and it wasn't enough. I needed a real jacket or sweater. I like cool mornings, and I wish they could last. Soon enough it will be muggy, even down-right hot, at 7am. This cold snap makes me think of my 96-year old grandma. She always called this kind of weather blackberry winter. Anytime in late spring or early summer that it turned unseasonably cool, that's what she would call it. She's still with us, but lives in a nursing home and stays in-doors all the time. So she won't get to appreciate this change in weather. Makes me sad and reminds me to appreciate every little thing while I can.

I love you, Granny.

Call it Lunch

Monday Lunch
Turkey Sandwich with Roasted Red Peppers & Salad Greens
Carrots

I discovered a new product that I like. Arnold's Sandwich Thins (pictured above). It's a thin, sturdy bread that makes a great sandwich without packing on the calories and carbs. At 100 calories, 5 grams of fiber, 22 carb grams, and 1 fat gram, this is a pretty good choice. For you Weight Watchers out there, that's just 1 point. I toasted the bread for my sandwich today, and it was just great. Maybe these aren't ideal, and maybe I would be better served to wrap my turkey in spinach leaves and call it lunch. But the plain truth is that I'm going to have a sandwich sometimes, and this product allows me to do it without going overboard on bread. And it tastes good. It's also convenient, portable, quick, and easy. All are important to me and my success. As much as I would like never to eat processed or packaged foods, sometimes I'm going to...it's just my reality.

What are some products that you use that are quick, easy, portable, and reasonably nutritious/healthy?

A Cure for the Blahs

Sunday Supper
Steak Salad
(grilled sirloin, mixed greens, red pepper, broccoli, strawberries, blue cheese, balsamic vinaigrette)

I struggled with the blahs all day long today. Rainy Sunday's are much harder to manage than rainy Monday's in my book, but I've just about made it through. I haven't buried my feelings in food so I'm glad for that. I just kept putting one foot in front of the other. Occasionally I wished for some happy surprise to make me feel better. But no happy surprises today. I'm still feeling restless, anxious, a little worried, and lonely. Alone. But at least I'm feeling it. I'm not rushing around non-stop to avoid the feelings, and not covering them with food.

Looking back on my day, it was ok I guess. I slept until 8:30 or so, and I slept great. I had a leisurely morning. I sat out on the back porch drinking coffee, reading, and thinking. About noon, I went to the gym and did a workout. Somehow, even with the blahs, I was able to do a workout. It helped that Marshall showed up mid-way through so I couldn't quit. Hmmm, maybe that was a happy surprise. When I left the gym, I had a message from Byron asking me to meet him for coffee. Oh wow! That was another happy surprise; I just didn't recognise it at the time. I haven't seen him in a while so it was good to catch up. As I was leaving Starbucks, I received a text-picture message from my friend, Susan. It was a picture of the cutest cardigan welsh corgi puppies! Little baby Melvins! Now, that was definitely a happy surprise!

5 month-old Cardigan Welsh Corgis
Could there be a new puppy in my future?

When I sat down to write this, I honestly thought it had been a totally blah day. I sat down to write about having the blahs. But as I recounted my day, I realized that it was sprinkled with gems not fully appreciated at the time. It's all in the attitude. And a little bit of gratitude goes a long way towards curing the blahs.

On Contrast

In My Garden Today
Hosta 'Sum & Substance'
Autumn Fern

This morning I paused to appreciate the beautiful combination created by the big bold leaves of Hosta 'Sum & Substance' and the delicate, finely cut foliage of Autumn Fern. These two plants are nice enough individually, but put them together, and they make a striking combination. Both are green--the same shade of green. And they are about the same size. It's the contrast in texture that creates this outstanding duet. That's one of the keys to good garden design: knowing how to put individual plants together so that the resulting contrast is an appealing composition. It's the contrast that creates the clarity and beauty.

And so it is with our lives as well. It's the contrast that gives life its richness and meaning, that helps us clarify what we want and what we don't want, that makes us interesting and keeps us interested. It's the contrast that makes life real and worth living.

If there be light, then there is darkness; if cold, then heat; if height, depth also; if solid, then fluid; hardness and softness, roughness and smoothness, calm and tempest, prosperity and adversity, life and death.
~ Pythagoras ~

Stinky Stew to Joyful Brew

I need to clear my mind of junky, negative thoughts that are swirling around in there like a big, stinky stew. I can't give them anymore time or attention right now. And the best way to stop thinking about one thing is to start thinking about something else. So I whipped out this bright, cheery photo that I took of some favorite things:

A bed of chartreuse "Creeping Jenny",
blue gardening clogs,
old french watering can,
red paisley PJ's,
early morning garden walk,
simplicity,
the proper perspective,
solitude.

Stinky stew to joyful brew in less than 60 seconds.

Gosh Darn

Breakfast

Turkey Bacon

Oatmeal with Soy Milk

Yesterday was a good day. Diet was on track, and I did a crossfit workout for the first time in over a week. My knee is still bothering me though; it hurts even to just walk. I knew this before the workout but thought I would just tough it out. But now, I'm second guessing my decision to do thrusters and running with a sore leg. Gosh darn. I don't want to be injured. Maybe the ice and Advil will do the trick.

The Heart Longs to be Free

Gray Wolf Howling

I'm happy for the new week and the refreshed perspective I have on things. Last week I thought I was having a hard week. By the end of the week, I realized that I had been having a hard few months, and in many ways a hard year.

I don't mean to be overly dramatic; I certainly have been very blessed during these difficult times we are living. I've managed to keep my job and was even able to make a sizable investment in a gym. I still have my home, and my second home (even if it doesn't have plumbing). So it's a little self-indulgent for me to go on about the difficult year that I've had when friends of mine are going through real hardships in their lives. But the point of this blog is for me to share what I'm learning. Just know that I never mean to minimize your life by writing about my own.

So here's my most recent self-discovery. I've learned that even at my age, it is possible to still be a big ole people-pleaser. I've learned that I am still easily controlled by certain personalities. And that some people will take all you have to give and then ask why you didn't give more. (This is my problem. I'm not blaming anyone.)

And I've learned again that the heart longs to be free. And when it is, it sings. And soars.

Some Distant Day Arrives

Carolina Sandhills National Wildlife Refuge
photograph by Jack Culpepper

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

~ Ranier Maria Rilke ~
Letters to a Young Poet, Letter No. 4
Translated by M. D. Herter

On Making Mistakes

My workout yesterday consisted of unloading the equipment from the truck and carrying it to the porch. Fifty feet max. Right now I feel like I could easily never workout again.

"Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don't look back at it too long. Mistakes are life's way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure?" ~ Og Mandino

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it." ~ W.C. Fields

Morning Walk

Measure your health by your sympathy with morning and spring. If there is no response in you to the awakening of nature --if the prospect of an early morning walk does not banish sleep, if the warble of the first bluebird does not thrill you --know that the morning and spring of your life are past. Thus may you feel your pulse.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

Refuge from the Storm

The Cabin

I drove up to the cabin last night. It hit me while I was walking at Lullwater that I could just load up and leave town for a few days. And so I did. I've got some thinking to do, and this is a great place for thinking. I'm so blessed to have this little place and to have a job that allows me to work from most anywhere. I'm grateful for my boss and for our relationship of mutual respect. I'm grateful for the quiet here, for the simplicity, for the tick of the clock, for the birds calling, for Melvin lounging on the porch, for this old rocker I'm sitting in, for beloved family just across the way, for refuge from the storm.

It's Still There

Breakfast this Morning
asparagus omelet with grapefruit
coffee with soy milk

I got way off track this weekend. Here's how it went. Ice cream, candy, diet coke, sleep, repeat. With more than one Lifetime movie thrown in to break the monotony. And this will shock you...the thing that I ate to avoid, to forget about? It's still there this morning. Along with a busier than heck week of work ahead.

But the great news is that I am not beating myself up. I woke up not really even thinking about the weekend. I'm in a good state of mind, and I know it will be even better as I get my nutrition back on track.

How was your weekend?

Coffee Break Redefined

Sampler Platter of Whole Foods

A big adjustment for me is giving up the coffee/carb combo. I've been a big coffee drinker for as long as I can remember, and there's nothing more comforting that a cup of coffee and "a little something" to go with it. That little something has traditionally been refined carbs. As I have improved my eating, I have started to make better choices most of the time, but I'm realizing I need to make further improvements. Here's what I came up with today: two strips of turkey bacon, 3 strawberries, a few asparagus spears, grape tomatoes, and sugar snap peas. Beautiful, filling, and satisfying. And easy since all were prepared ahead of time and ready to pop on a plate. Yes, I would have enjoyed a scone, an english muffin, a few cookies, or even a Balance Bar...but we know where that choice leads. It leaves me feeling unsatisfied. Ungrounded. On edge. In search of more.