A Little Nudge

Coffee in a Pretty Cup

"It's time to commit to finding other forms of comfort and sticking with them.
You WILL beat this if you choose it."
words of Erica Stelten -
friend, nutritionist, life coach, bad-ass crossfitter, former compulsive eater, and all around good person

Choose. That was Erica's advice to me on Wednesday. "You will beat this if [and when] you choose it." Not when some miracle happens and suddenly I'm really motivated to eat only vegetables, fruit, and meat. Not when pigs fly. Not when I have sufficiently beat myself up over my failure to change. Not tomorrow or next week or next year. But when I choose to change, I will change. It requires a commitment to myself and a DECISION to act differently than the past 49 years. It's like any commitment. I'm not always happy about doing my work, but I have a responsibility to my employer, and I honor it. Take CrossFit as another example. Although I am committed to CrossFit, I rarely wake up excited or motivated to go to the gym. But I drag myself there five or six times per week. It is never easy, but the rewards are worth it, and the threats of not doing it loom large. Standard American aging does not appeal to me. I choose to be different than the masses.

August 15 will mark my third anniversary with CrossFit. When I first started, I couldn't do a single sit up, and shoulder pressing 20 pounds was a challenge. I couldn't jump rope at all, and I had never heard of a double-under. My nutrition was off the deep end. Bingeing on sweet, trans fat-filled carbs was a regular occurrence. I took medication for depression, but remained depressed and moody much of the time. I was on lipitor for high cholesterol, and I suffered from regular bouts with vertigo. My first CrossFit workout did more for my depression than years of prozac and talk-therapy. I was hooked immediately, and I never looked back. The rewards have been tremendous: strength, overall fitness, happiness, no prozac, no lipitor, and oh, the friends I've made.

I've even made huge improvements in my nutrition. If you had told me three years ago that I would be happy rarely eating bread, rice, or pasta, I would not have believed you. And my frequent bingeing on sweets is a thing of the past. I still get into trouble with ice cream more than I care to admit, and now I eat nuts like I used to eat candy. But compared to the past, well, it's like night and day. I can't remember the last time I bought a bag of miniature reeses or Crunch 'n Munch. I used to eat that crap all the time.

Erica's simple admonishment on Wednesday really helped me. I am ready (and have been) to change -- to take it to the next level, but I needed a little nudge. It's like when your coach puts the tiniest bit of upward pressure on the bar during a heavy back squat; you just need the slightest bit of assistance to stand up. Or a little nudge to move forward. I may need it again from time to time, and I hope Erica and others will offer it. I'm tired of giving myself excuses for not changing. I'm tired of denying myself full participation in my sport and in life. This fat suit doesn't suit me anymore.