I've been thinking a lot lately about self-image and taking stock of how I see myself -- physical attributes, personality, and capabilities. And I'm considering how I formed these beliefs and ideas. Not surprisingly, it goes waaayy back. When I think about my body-image and weight issues, three people come immediately to mind: my grandmother, my crazy aunt, and my 2nd grade teacher. These three women seemed to have had a vested interest in making sure that I knew I was bigger than all the other girls my age and that this was not good. What's crazy is that when I look back at pictures of myself at that age, I was just a sweet, beautiful little girl with all the potential in the world. What's even crazier is that 40 years later, I'm still carrying around the image these three women defined for me.
We become what we believe, and when we are 7 years old, we believe what we are told. But thankfully, when we are 47, we can think a new thought and dream a new dream.
"Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives."
Sidney Madwed
24 comments:
Did anyone see Desperate Housewifes last night? It was so sad! Gabby ( Eva Longoria) has a four year old daughter who is over weight, and to make her get active Gabby makes the little girl chase her car! It broke my heart, it was no way to help a child, I can not imagine what type of mental scars could be left wih that type of behavior. It just shows how important having healthy relationships with body image, food and physical activity are at a young age, and how uneducated some parents are of the subject.
I myself know a lot of my body image issues stem from a young age too, mother who always watched her weight, father who encouraged watched me to not "get fat"! I also started ballet at a young age and continued until 16, as I watched my little sister at ballet this weekedn ( she is six) I see where being put in a room surrounded by mirrors with other girls can lead a little girl (or older girl in her teens) to feel self conscious. Don't get me wrong I loved ballet and think it is wonderful, but I also believe you have to be in an environment where you feel loved and feel as if you are beautiful!
It is funny how little comments in our past stick with us, but one thing I know for sure is that even the people who made those comments who we looked up too, are people too, and they did not know everything and they could be quite wrong about things they have said, so there is no reason to validate what was said, and now we must make our own reality and just forget about it ( or try!!)
Wow, long post! Hope everyone is doing great! Miss you all and CFED, but having a wonderful time in Florida!!!
Good morning everyone.
PAt~ Another great post. I remember always crying to my mother because I thought I was fat compared to everyone else. Now looking back, in elementary school specifically, I don't think I was fat, I just developed a lot earlier than the other girls. I maybe had a few extra pounds, but I always played sports and was very active. However, that didn't stop my 4th grade soccer coach from telling me that maybe I needed to lose a few pounds. As if the buck teeth and bad hair weren't bad enough, no the coach thinks I'm fat.
I have a mother who had lost a lot of weight and still always struggle dwith body image. Even though she lost the weight and was tiny, she did it without exercise, so she has a lot of extra skin. I somehow think hearing her be upset with her own body image all the time reflected upon me? I don't know...as I mentioned before, when I moved here, I was at a healthy weight and I thought I was fat. Ugh! If I could go back knowing what I know now!!
Anyhoo, I didn't post over the weekend, so I'm gonna post my goal for the 9-week challenge.
Nutrition:
1) No dairy for full 9 weeks.
Exercise:
1) Run 5k in under 35 minutes.
2) Get 5 consecutive pull-ups.
Hey Rae! It's good to hear from you. I didn't see Desperate Housewives - that's a crazy crew! And I'm wondering how Gabby has a 4-year old daughter when last season she had no children at all, I think. I'm sure that's an interesting storyline!
Rae and Melissa, thanks for sharing on this topic. I know this is a big issue for a lot of us.
Pat~ Wanted to mention that I went back and read the posts for the weekend, and your meal plans look great!! I'm sure that will help you a lot. Meal plans always seem to help me, because I have something to look forward to, and I can make a promise to myself to stick to my meal plan.
Also, they have a recipe on the Weight Watcher site today for a 0 point soup. It is roasted butternut squash. However, in the recipe itself, they don't roast the veggies. I think it would be better if the did. I think I might try and make my own roasted veggie soup. Trader Joe's has a pack of precut butternut squash, parsnips, and a few yams. I think those veggies roasted along with an onion and an orange or yellow pepper, even a red pepper might be good, tossed with a bit of olive oil and freshly ground salt and pepper, maybe a clove of garlic and then all pureed together. That would make a good soup with lots a veggies. You actually could even used that as a sauce on some chicken breast or turkey. Just another way to get in more veggies.
CAn you tell I'm a little excited about making that soup??
We certainly all have "baggage" (maybe saddle baggage, huh?) from childhood. I had two nicknames, Shamu and Sumo (why couldn't I have Pink Ninja back then?). Most of you have seen my before pictures and heard my story. I don't want to dwell on how damaging the past was as much as I want to spread the good new ... which is: we have the power, right now, this very moment to reject these images and replace them with new ones.
Nowadays when the doubts and demons rear their ugly heads I smack 'em down with gratitude. I try to think of things in my life I appreciate, all the things that are right, all the things I'm grateful for and all the ways I feel blessed. This is way more powerful than dieting and deprivation...
next time you catch yourself feeling like a MuffinTop or whatever, try to catch yourself and immediately find a pen and paper and write down 5 things you are grateful for. This really works (just ask Oprah!)
Very well said, Shana.
Ditto to much of this. I am very intentional about telling my daughter how loving, lovable, kind, smart and beautiful she is. Same with my son. When I started I thought to myself "no one believes that sort of thing," but guess what, yes they do. Because it's true and they have no reason to doubt it. It's just those of us who have time and junk under our belts that constantly doubt the positive. Shana, I agree. YOU CAN SMACK DOWN THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. But it's an active rather than passive process. Say the positive things OUT LOUD (preferably to yourself in the mirror) or WRITE DOWN the things you're grateful for.
Feeling like a MuffinTop. Accurate description.
Rae, I am so with you on the despearte housewives last night! I was so disturbed about that little girl that I kept interrupting the show to comment on it, that eventually my husband said he thought it would be better if I didn't watch it anymore! I wasn't so much concerned about what they were doing on the show, but that this little girl is being typecast as the "fat girl," and she knows it. Now that will be her claim to fame, and probably also her cross to bear. I think if they were responsible, they would have just left this story line out.
Missed all the post since Friday - but just wanted to say Shana, you are incredibly talented and I loved hearing/seeing you perform. It was also so fun to see the rest of your CFED fan club there.
If you have the time ... this is worth watching:
http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/full-episodes/how-to-look-good-naked/video/season-2/episode-7/1764764846
Erica, I did not even consider the aspect of the poor little girl and having to play that part. I agree it does not need to be in the show, oh that poor girl, I feel so bad!!!!!!!
Melissa check out Imagine Soups they have a butternut squash and many other yummy flavors, all natural, organic, around $3 for 4 servings, they come in a carton near the soups! Just my lazy, oops easy way!
Sheryl that is wonderful what you say to your kids, it is so important!
Ps Melissa I know all about the buck teeth and bad hair, still have the crazy hair, but thank goodness for braces!!!!
My problem with the hair wasn't necessarilly "bad hair" all the time. I had long hair and my step-mom would blow dry it every night before I went to bed. When she did it, it sort of straightenend it. We just thought my hair was wavy like my dad's and NOT curly like my moms. Well, my mom worked for Sebastian and they had a "Cut-a-thon" fundraiser thing and they thought it would be fun to cut my hair. So, not realizing how curly it would actually get, they did some sort of short-layered cut. Think Christmas tree and you sort of have the image. So, that hair...and buck teeth so bad that I couldn't really close my mouth all the way, and being told by your coach that you should lose weight? Yeah...that was a BAD year.
Aww Melissa and look at what a beautiful woman you are!I too thought my hair should be straight, a brush + blow dryer + curly hair and no flat iron = very crazy hair!
Awe, thanks Rae!
I don't even bother with a blow dryer. I straighten my hair *maybe* once every 2 years. I wear it in a bun or ponytail 98% of the time. I rarely cut my hair. It's been almost a year since I've cut my hair last. Before that, I'm pretty sure it was a few years of not cutting it.
I've embraced the curls for the most part. They just bug me and I feel like the hair gets so big it's like I'm wearing a helmet. So, it goes and stays in the ponytail. :o)
Oh, and a brush?? I use that once just to comb through as soon as I get out of the shower. Curls and brushes are NOT friends.
Where is everybody? Workin? Hmmmph!!
I am sooo ready to go home. I want to go lay on my couch and ice my leg!!
Miki~ I'm not sure about an answer to your question as far as enjoying desserts or sweets. I think it might be different for everybody. For some people that crave them, it might be considered a trigger food where the more they have, the more they want. Which, in that case, they tend to avoid it completely. I don't think sweets/sugar is meant to be had on a daily basis, but more for a special occasion, or maybe if you were out at a nice restaurant and it is your favorite, or maybe shared with someone. I know for me, the less I have it, the less I want it. And I find a small piece of dark chocolate, even a dark chocolate kiss will do the trick.
I'm sure Erica might have some better input on this subject.
I know with me not having dairy for the next 9 weeks, desserts are pretty much off limits, unless they are Vegan and/or I make them myself. And that is fine with me, at least for now. I do have some extra dark chocolate that does not have any dairy in it, so if need be, that's my go to dessert. An, I have recipes for Vegan desserts as well, but those would take planning ahead to get the ingredients and make it. But I think for the most part, when I want sweets, I want them right now. I don't want to have to go and buy the ingredients and make it myself. So, having to do that might deter me for the most part.
I think I remember form the South Beach Diet plan, or maybe it was Dr. Oz, "You on a Diet", or something like that. But, I think I remember them planning for a dessert type snack at least 3 times a week. Or, if it wasn't planned, then only having 3 bites instead of the whole piece of cake for yourself.
I've done other plans, such as "Body for Life", where you follow all youre meal plans for 6 days a week and then you're allowed 1 "Free Day" a week to eat whatever you want. And actually, knowing that you had that day coming up or available, made it easier to stick to the meal plans the rest of the week. I think that falls more in line with Meeks style of 80% plan.
I guess it's just whatever works for you, or whatever you can stick with for the long haul.
Miki, great job staying away from the sweets. It's up to you when you have a dessert...if you feel in control (rather than the craving controlling you), I think that's what is important. You've already proved that you are back in control.
I'm thinking I might use today as a Rest Day so I can go home and ice my leg. It seems to be hurting more and more. I haven't cancelled my session just yet, but I'm about 85% sure that I won't be there tonight. )o:
So, the Blog for Sunday is hitting home about now. "Whenever I feel low, I eat carbs." Well, I am feeling low and wanting to eat sugar. Could be that I just walked past a cake in the middle of the office and normally would have no temptation. First thing I thought was "NO DAIRY"...for 9 weeks. Ugh!
Really, I could care less about the cake. I am upset about hurting my leg and being injured on the first day of this Challenge. I know it;s not a huge deal, it's not like by leg is broken, it is just badly bruised at the moment. It'll be okay in a day or two, but now I am just frustrated!! Wah!
Thanks Miki. I already know I am having terriyaki salmon with some sort of vegetable and maybe a strawberry and avocado salad with some raw pistachios. We'll see. I know the salmon for sure. Not sure about the rest.
Aw Melissa, just seeing your post. We all have those days. At least you know (part) of the source of it today. Your feeling frustrated and down about your leg is legitimate and you deserve some TLC. My son has an expression "cool your core." Go home and do whatever (besides eating)cools your core: take a bubble bath, put on music, buy/pick yourself some flowers,light candles, read a trashy book, whatever. And think about what an inspiration you've been to so many of us already... And relish in your awesomeness :)
Melissa- From one curly head to another. the term for too much head issues is "pyramid head" ie when it starts growing out and quits growing down. The length at onset is directly related to the skill of the person giving the last haircut:-) I feel your pain. My mother had straight hair that wouldn't hold a perm so it wasn't until high school that I realized I shouldn't even own a brush.
Good first day. 3 meals on Zone + dc goal so I'll take it. I even cooked dinner at my house! A porkchop, broccoli, baked apple with cinnamon.
Hope you are resting that leg and feeling better, Melissa.
Meeks! Congrats on your day in the Zone and especially on the cooking!
Sounds like everyone is on track and having all the appropriate challenging emotions! Hang in there ... we're all with you!
Melissa, tap into that competitive side of yourself that tells you you want to be the best, most successful at this challenge!
Miki, good work on avoiding your inner cookie monster. It's all going to pay off!
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