“I like you just the way you are.”
This fabulous line is from the movie, Bridget Jones’ Diary. Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) says these words to Bridget (Renee Zelwegger) despite her being a little awkward, unsophisticated, and not perfectly thin.
Isn't that what we all want? Acceptance. Freedom to just be who we are and have that be enough. If we are lucky we'll have friends, and maybe even a "Mark Darcy," who will love us just as we are. But "being enough" begins with self-acceptance, with loving yourself despite your flaws. One of the great gifts of growing older is that you come to understand that your imperfections are what make you perfectly wonderful and worth knowing.
Love and accept yourself just as you are. And oddly enough, that's where you will begin to find the source for true, lasting change.
33 comments:
Pat that is right along the lines of the new leaf I am trying to turn over for myself this year! Not to worry so much about what others or myself think, just be happy and content and I think that makes whatever journey I take much smoother!
I wanted to write about this topic today to remind us all to keep things in perspective. I'll probably write more about this in the future because it is something I am working on, and as I read the comments on this blog, I am reminded how quick women are to focus on their flaws and nit-pick themselves to death. I don't want this blog to be just another 'diet' forum. I want it to be a real source of encouragement and support and a reminder that we're all just fabulous just as we are!
Wow I go out of town for a day and the blog goes nuts.
Pat Thanks for putting this blog together. It clearly is filling a need.
I'm making some progress- only 1-2 diet cokes a day (very very good for me) and no other artificial sweetner (also very good for me). The biggest issue really is convenience. Gotta put in the little extra effort. With that I should go put the coffee on:-)
Welcome home, Meeks. Great job scaling back on the diet cokes!
Please note the sidebar on the right of the blog. I've added two new sections:
In the 'Contributors' section, you can click on Erica's name to read her full bio. Please read it when you have a few minutes and you'll realize just how fortunate we are to have someone of her expertise contributing to this blog.
In the 'Toolbox' section, I will provide links to previous 'how-to' topics on the blog. I plan to have one How-To topic each week during the next 9 weeks.
MY FAVORITE MOVIE EVER!!! ANd of course the best line. This movie has helped me get through break-ups and life in general. I love it! I won it! I pretty much have it memorized!! I sooo want a Mark Darcy in my life!
I had some food issues last night. I was VERY sore and tired and I wanted to order a thin crust pizza. Really, I wanted the cheese. I am still trying to get rid of cheese and dairy in my house. The eggs are gone, as is the cottage cheese, and yogurts. I am left with 2% cheese slices. So, instead of ordering pizza, I put some left over fat free refried beans, 2% cheese, and turkey breast witha bit of taco sauce on corn tortillas. It worked for me wanting cheese.
But, I need to get over wanting cheese. Anyhoo, I didn't order pizza and blah, blah, blah.
Ooops, that was supposed to say...I OWN it!, Not I won it!
Miki, I'm so glad you're having success. Good for you!
Melissa, sounds like you handled your craving for pizza in a good way. Congrats.
I didn't have sugar yesterday, but I succumbed to my late night snacking. I had finished the blog post, and I was watching the news...not hungry, just a bad habit. I'll choose differently tonight.
Pat~ I think when we are tired and sore, it is even harder for us to make the best choices. At least that's the way it is for me. I had to force myself to prepare my food for today, last night because I knew that if I didn't, I would end up in the cafeteria not making the best choices.
I don't know if it is giving in or not because I did eat something sweet last night. I made a little version of a peach crisp. 1 whole peach diced and microwaved with cinnamon and topped with an oatmeal crust. I guess I didn't really need it, but at least I did have a fruit serving. **Trying not to be negative and get down on myself for eating it**
Miki~ That's great for you to realize that you were having a sugar craving and working on it. I'm sure it will get better or a little easier in the coming days.
Ladies, you are fabulous. What an inspriation. Meeks, great work on the diet cokes. I know that 2 for you is a BIG reduction. Miki, great work on resisting the cravings. You're on Day 3! Pat and Melissa, sounds to me like you both had great days. No sugar and no pizza.
As for me, you REALLY helped me last night. Typical Tuesday. I picked up the kids from school, rushed to grab Moe's for them so they can eat in the car and do homework while I workout at 6:30. Then head home and get them started on bedtime rituals. Things don't settle down until about 9pm. Of course, by then I'm starving so usually I snack on whatever until then. And of course, at 9pm I'm not about to cook so I eat whatever for dinner(last night it would have been ginger snaps and milk). BUT, last night I snacked on a piece of bread with peanut butter. For dinner I had lowfat cottage cheese and sugar-free canned peaches (initially sprinkled some old walnuts pieces that I found on top -- yuck. Bad, bad idea). Not ideal, but a heck of a lot better than many alternatives. And I had taken out 4 ginger snaps for my after dinner treat. I didn't eat the gingersnaps! After the meal I was full and satisfied and said to myself, why?
Started my food journal to boot.
Oh, that Marc Darcy... (sigh)
Sheryl~ I LOVE your posts!
Congrats for not eating those Ginger Snaps. One meal that I used to love was cottage cheese with fresh pineapple and sunflower seeds. SOOOO Tasty and filling. Of course, I'm not eating the cottage cheese anymore, but if I was, I would probably eat that everyday.
YAy for the food journals for both Miki and Sheryl! Those are always a HUGE help to me. I can go back years, months, weeks and look to see what I was eating when I was losing weight consistently and compare it to what I am eating currently if I am struggling.
Also, remember to journal all your BLT's!! Bites-Licks-Tastes!! They add up.
I LOVE Colin Firth. He plays Mr. Darcy in A&E's Pride and Predjudice (which I own on DVD) ... what a girlie thing for me to love Jane Austen so much! I wonder if the writer of Bridget Jones' Diary was alluding to P&P by calling that character Darcy. (Did I tell ya'll I was an English Major at one time in college...)
Still on track this morning. No mess ups yet. I can't believe it.
Salmon and broccoli for breakfast ... mmmmmmm.
Also, Pat, GREAT topic today. So many people are SO hard on themselves. Sometimes I think if we could look at ourselves the way other people look at us, we'd go a little easier with the mental lashings.
That "Good Examples" post the other day jolted me a little. Most of the time I post pics of you all. I rarely think about the way you all see me and I'm honored to be considered an inspiration, especially considering the amount of struggle I've had with eating.
So, thanks everyone!
Mmm...I just had the BEST lunch!! Yay!
Sheryl, thanks for the post about last night. It made me laugh out loud. Good job resisting the ginger snaps.
Believe it, Shana. You are on a roll!
I am struggling today. Ever since I wrote that post about loving and accepting myself just like I am, I've been wanting to eat, and not winning the battle consistently. hmmmm. Got to think about this. Could it be the mention of Mark Darcy? Maybe the food, the weight, and my lack of self-acceptance is a good way to keep Mark Darcy at bay! ugh! Will I ever overcome this?!? ... Why yes, I belive I will.
Awe Pat, some days are harder than others. I think Meeks has it right with the 80% thing. I like the saying..."Progress, not Perfection."
Just make your next snack, meal, or drink a better choice. Don't get down on yourself at all because that will not help anything. Drink some water, breathe, and maybe plan what your next snack or meal will be.
I know, and YOU know that you will do it!! :o)
You are WONDERFUL, just the way you are!!
There's research on this. Anyone know the statistics? It's something like one negative statement has the same power as 10 compliments.
Shana, are you kidding? You are such an inspiration on the food and so many other fronts. Thrilled that you are meeting your latest goal. Is this a life change for you or are you doing Paleo for a limited period of time?
P.S. I do not always stick my kids in the car to eat dinner and, other than Tuesday Moes (when Naiya eats free), we do not do fast food dinners.
Pat, just saw your post. Yes you will. Look in the mirror, smile at yourself and say loving, positive things. Corny, but over time it works.
I don't know the "proper" way to food journal, but here's what I recorded in bullet point form. Breakfast, lunch, dinner,snacks, supplements (fish old, multivitamin), general mood of day, level of energy/productivity during day. Didn't record times of meals, probably should. Probably should also note whether I worked out.
Miki~ It's your journal, write whatever you want. Some people write what they out and then how they feel about and hour later. Tired, sleepy, energized, cravings, etc. Those things can sometimes help you to see what type of impact certain foods have on your body. Such as, I ate this today and I'm feeling sleepy. Or I ate this today and I feel great, not too full, etc.
Just write whatever you think will help or benefit you.
Sheryl, I don't think there is a proper way. Or if there is, I assume the "proper" way would be whatever way gets you to do it consistently.
You all rock. You are all owning up to the imperfections in your diet but not letting them own you.
Pat - A few things have been floating in my mind as I've gotten to know you just through this blog. It hasn't taken me long to realize what a dedicated, driven, compassionate, real woman you are. You face your fears head on and are inspiring everyone on this blog to do the same. What you have ALREADY accomplished with weight loss and crossfit is phenomenal. And you are an amazing writer. You should write a book - I would be one of your presales. Certainly I don't expect these words to change the fact that you are having a difficult day, but since I have been thinking this I thought this would be an appropriate time to share. And I applaud you for setting such a high standard for this blog - it's about so much more than diet, and you are great at keeping the tone positive even while we sharing our daily struggles. As for your struggle today, are you sure you are not truly hungry? I only ask because the number of calories we burn each day actually varies pretty significantly from day to day, and the day after a big work out you can be burning at a much higher rate all day. That's why sticking to a strict plan often backfires - one day it's enough and the next you're starving yourself. You know yourself best - does this feel like the desire to eat for the wrong reasons, or does it feel like real hunger?
Miki - You are doing fantastic, and yes, that was a huge revelation you had during your granola snack. Yes, you should defintely write down how you are feeling when you journal. Then you can identify patterns.
Melissa - I think you deserve a huge pat on the back for how you handled the pizza craving last night. And I loved your food journal yesterday - a dietitian's dream! You did mention you were studying nutrition, right? You will make a great dietitian.
Shana - saying that you are inspiration to me is an understatement. Whenever you are doubting, you need to put it out here on this blog and we'll set you straight. All of us want to be you! Except that instead of wishing we were you, which is unproductive thinking, we will all strive to love ourselves and use our admiration for you as a postive influence that will make us strive toward continuous improvement.
Sheryl - funny you posted a follow-up comment to you story about having your kids eat Moe's for dinner. Not that you posted it for my sake, but it reminds me of the discrepancy I often see between what people think a dietitian is going to think about their choices and what I actually think. I actually was just about to comment on your story when I saw your follow-up comment, but I never gave a second thought to what the food choice was. I was going to say, YOU are the kind of person that doesn't make excuses for why she can't get to the gym. I talk to so many people who swear it is impossible to work out regularly because they are just too busy. It's hard for me to argue sometimes, since I don't have kids and I won't pretend to imagine I understand the magnitude of that responsibility. But what a good example that you CAN make it work if you WANT to make it work- it's not the end of the world if your kids eat dinner and do homework in the car one night so you can get in a workout! I love it.
Meeks - Nice work with the diet cokes! You are doing your body such a great service.
Thanks, Erica and Melissa. I appreciate what you both wrote. It does help!
Erica, I'm certain it's not hunger. I ate too much at lunch. I was really hungry when I finally sat down to lunch about 1pm. That can trigger me to eat too much...if I'm too hungry when I eat. But I was very conscious that I was no longer hungry and continuing to eat. Like a rebellious child, I did it anyway. So there's some part of me that is refusing to do what I know I want to do. Despite this, I love and accept myself completely. :-)
Erica~ You are wonderful and I am soooo glad you are here!!!
I think we are all doing much better and being more accountable for our actions than we were just a few days ago. It's amazing to me how a blog like this can help motivate us, love ourself, and encourage others, especially other women!!
There are many women who are caddy and don't like to compliment and encourage each other, but here? Wonderful encouragement and it's all REAL!!
Yay!!
I must say... We all kick ass!! :o)
Oh, and Sheryl...the thought never crossed my mind either about having your kids eat Moe's and be in the car. I doubt that anybody thought that was a bad thing. Lives are busy and people are busy. I applaud you as well for making time for the gym! It is VERY easy to finad any and all excuses not to make it to the gym!
And Sheryl, thanks for your encouragement as well! So many comments, I can't keep up. I love it!
Ok, I started my food journal today. I am recording what I eat, how I feel, etc. I get migraines and always have to give the dr. my food log when they start again to help determine triggers. I also record if it was a stressful day at work, etc. I woke up at 1:30 this morning with a headache - still have it. I am pretty sure it was brought on by one of my not-approved foods that I ate last night as well as hormonal, but if I was not journaling, no telling what I would blame it on.
Erica - after a few weeks of this, I would love to spend some time with you talking through my patterns/food selections. Tell me how to schedule an appointment and I am on it...
I posted Erica's bio as a google doc, which means you have to have a google account and be logged into google to view it. This is the same method I used to post the Sugar Crackdown document. Are others having trouble viewing these documents. If so, I will find another way to make this information available.
Pat - I am having trouble viewing it, and I am logged into my Google account. I requested permission to view the document - I guess you have to grant permission - no clue.
Erica's bio should now be available to view. I uploaded it to Google docs, but failed to publish it. It is now published and says it is available for viewing by anyone. If this does not resolve the problem, please let me know.
It works - thanks!
Melissa, you're so right! Everyone here is a badass! What a great group to be a part of!! Lots of support here...
My lungs are a wreck! I'm so embarrassed that I had to stop in the middle of my AMRAP because of an asthma attack! Never, ever in a year and a half of CF have I had to stop mid-workout. Bummer. I finished it, but feel illegitimate. Now am coughing so hard my ab muscles are cramping... boo.
Good news: still on diet track. I'm thinking Paleo is going to be a life change. I just feel so good all the time (other than atopic allergies.) And I'm not having cravings, energy lulls, or sleeping spells. I gotta highly recommend the Paleo way, ya'll. It rocks.
That's aweseome Shana! Glad you are feeling so great. And you are a total badass for finishing your workout during an asthma attack.
Melissa - thanks for your kind words.
I know what you mean, Pat, about not being able to keep up with all these great posts!
I SO want to be working out with y'all at CFED. I even think I could have done today's workout but I'm afraid of re-injury. On the positive side, there is more and more I can do every day. This morning I did 100 pushups, 120 lunges, 100 double unders, and 1000 single jump ropes and tonight I swam 1 1/4 miles. That's the most I've done in one day in a while and I feel pretty good. But it's so boring all alone! And I can't push myself to do anything fast when I'm not at the gym. But it will come, I know. It will help me learn patience...not one of my strong points!
I am happy to talk to anyone about meeting one-on-one. You can reach me directly by email at erica@cambrookefoods.com or by cell at 404-242-9720.
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