Fascinating and Infuriating

Big brother, Jack and me in March, 2008.

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All great truths begin as blasphemies.
George Bernard Shaw

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Several people have asked me to post more meal ideas. So today I thought I would just post what I've eaten recently. My brother was visiting over the last three days so I used that as an opportunity to do more cooking than I might otherwise. He was very supportive of my new way of eating and embraced it wholeheartedly. He stole my copy of Good Calories, Bad Calories (by Gary Taubes) and was glued to it every chance he got. We finally went out and bought him a copy so that I could have mine back. I highly recommend this book. But it is not an easy, quick read. And the title is a little misleading. This is not a book about what to eat as much as it is about the history of recommended nutrition guidelines and the science that led us to where we are today. For anyone interested in eating a healthy diet and knowing the FACTS, this is a must-read. It is very well researched and documented. It is fascinating. And sometimes infuriating. Read it and you will understand.

But back to practical matters. I continue to have very few cravings, and when I do they are easily managed. Here's what I ate over the last several days.

ThursdayDinner
Leon's in downtown Decatur
Jack had the pan roasted halibut which was served on a salad of thinly sliced summer squash. He loved it. I had scallops served with spinach and corn. I ate just a little of the corn because, as you know, corn is very starchy, and this particular corn was very sweet. I would not order this again but would highly recommend the halibut. We both had a class of red wine with dinner.

FridayBreakfast
Scrambled eggs, bacon, and sliced tomatoes.
Coffee with cream.

Lunch
Salad of grilled chicken, avocado, tomatoes, blueberries, mixed greens, oil & vinegar dressing.

Dinner
Bison tenderloin steaks
Vegetable stir fry (asparagus, green beans, red bell pepper, squash, okra, jalapeno pepper)
Sliced tomatoes
1/2 small baked sweet potato with butter.


Snacks
If I get hungry between meals, I have a handful of nuts, alone or with a little fruit. I might have a piece of good cheese instead of the nuts. Or even some leftover chicken salad or stir fry.

SaturdayBreakfast
Fried eggs with bacon and strawberries. Coffee with cream.

Lunch
Ted's Montana Grill I had a grilled chicken salad with blue cheese dressing. I could only eat half and brought the other half home. Very good. I recommend it. Jack had the brick chicken topped with onions and mushrooms, asparagus, and broccoli. He enjoyed it and said he would order it again.

DinnerSpaghetti squash with meat sauce
Wedge salad with blue cheese dressing and bacon
Fresh figs for dessert.



SundayBreakfast
Scrambled eggs with bacon and sliced tomatoes.
Coffee with cream.



LunchLeftovers:
I had the leftover salad that I brought home from Ted's. Jack had some leftover bison tenderloin and vegetable stir fry.

Dinner
Leftovers:
Spaghetti Squash and Meat Sauce
Vegetable Stir Fry
Fresh Figs

Gasping for Air

Cherries, macadamia nuts, and brazil nuts
Coffee with half-and-half

I remember going on my first diet when I was 10 years old. Even way back then, I followed Weight Watchers. You were allowed only two servings of breads/starches per day and you had to have fish five times per week. You were even supposed to have liver once per week. I ignored the liver part, but followed the rest pretty much to the letter. Bread and other starches were minimized and protein was emphasized. This was 1971 when the conventional wisdom for losing weight was to reduce the starches and sweets in the diet. This had long been the prevailing wisdom. Even my uneducated grandmother, who always kept her weight in check, told me on more than one occasion that to lose weight I needed to leave off the bread, rice, potatoes, and dessert. Every meal she served included a meat. Breakfast was always eggs with either bacon or sausage and a piece of buttered toast. She is 96 now and still trim. Maybe she knew what she was talking about.

In the late 70's and early 80's, as I was entering adulthood, I was also eating my way through my parents' divorce and the transition to a big university from a podunk town in rural south Georgia. Those were sad, lonely years, and I turned to food for comfort. As a freshman at UGA, everyone around me was getting drunk to manage their insecurities and to blend in. I ate. It soothed me, and I didn't want to blend in. I wanted to hide.

During the 80's and early 90's, I returned to Weight Watchers numerous times for support in losing weight or managing my weight. But by this time, the tide had turned. Carbohydrates were now good, and they were supposed to form the base of the diet. I still remember the joy I felt when I realized I could eat more bread and still lose weight. I read Jane Brody's bestselling Good Food Book (I still have the well-worn copy) and loved it. "We need to eat more carbohydrates," she wrote. "Not only is eating pasta at the height of fashion. . . It can help you lose weight." I followed Brody's advice along with the updated Weight Watcher program. I lost weight eating a lot of carbs, little protein, and practically no fat. And I took up running. I ran and ran. And struggled to maintain my weight. Despite running half-marathons and obsessing minute-by-minute over every bite I put in my mouth, my weight gradually crept back up. And I berated myself for my lack of will-power and self-control. Dieting began to feel like holding my breath. I could do it for a little while, but then, like one gasping for air, I would eat uncontrollably. And it was always refined carbohydrates. I couldn't seem to get enough . . . You can never get enough of what your body doesn't need.

From the mid 90's until 2004, I pretty much gave up dieting altogether. I read all Geneen Roth's books about compulsive over-eating and tried a few times to follow her advice to make peace with food. Her advice: Allow yourself to have whatever it is that you want and as much as you want. Eventually you will stop over-eating when the food is no longer forbidden. The problem with that advice for me, is that (I now realize) I have an addictive reaction to eating lots of refined carbohydrates. So advising me to eat all the carbs I want was like advising an alcoholic to drink all the booze they want until they eventually get enough. It was dumb advice!

In 2004, I returned to Weight Watchers. I weighed 248 pounds, down 20 pounds from my peak weight. I had recently quickly dropped 20 pounds by giving up all processed sugar. That's all I did; no other change. Without dieting the 20 pounds came off almost effortlessly, simply by eliminating all processed sugar. I decided that to lose the rest of the weight, I needed help, so I returned to Weight Watchers and began again to monitor every bite I put in my mouth, trying my best to follow the recommended program. Over the past five years, I have had that "holding my breath" feeling many times and responded in the way that one does when she has been deprived of air. I gasped for air, and I breathed it in! I ate every refined carbohydrate I could get my hands on. And then I held my breath again for as long as I could stand it. Oh, I have certainly had some success. My weight is down considerably from 2004, but I have not been able to get to a healthy weight, and I have routinely gone on carb binges during those five years, regaining 10 or more pounds only to have to lose it again.

So three weeks ago, on August 8, I decided to experiment with eliminating all grains and refined carbs from my diet. Why eliminate grains? I wanted to see if eliminating grains would reduce or eliminate the carbohydrate cravings that have plagued me for years. I decided to try it for one day, and it's now been nearly three weeks. That's long enough to convince me that this is the way I need to eat. The cravings for sweets and other carbohydrates have greatly diminished. I still sometimes want something sweet, but I feel in control of the craving rather than the other way around. I can choose to have the sweet or choose not to have it. It does not control me. I have allowed myself ice cream (full fat, thank you very much) a couple of times, and last night I had some chocolate covered almonds. And then it's right back to my low-carb way of eating with protein and fat at every meal and plenty of fruits and vegetables.

I am so grateful to finally have found the way I need to eat. I feel a little angry with myself that I didn't embrace this way of eating sooner. The minute I started crossfitting, this was suggested to me by my very first coach, Patrick. And others since. I dabbled with it -- stuck my toe in the water. But it was only recently that I embraced it wholeheartedly. I think I was finally ready to receive the message, and I think the right messenger came into my life. And I was finally ready to ignore conventional wisdom and break the rules to find what works best for me.

"To attribute obesity to 'overeating' is as meaningful as to account for alcoholism by ascribing it to 'over-drinking'."
Jean Mayer
Harvard Nutritionist
1968

On Top of That

Dessert
Fresh blueberries and strawberries with macadamia nuts

Things are a little hectic around my house this week. I have a sick cat. Teddie, my 15 year-old feline developed a big fat lower lip on Sunday. I took him to the emergency vet and the doctor determined that he had an abscessed tooth. Several hours and $450 later, I brought him home wearing one of those Elizabethan collars (the cat, not me), along with pain meds, antibiotics, and instructions for round-the-clock care. If you have ever tried to give medicine to a cat, or get a cat to do anything he doesn't want to do, then you understand.

On top of dealing with a sick cat, one of my neighbors just got a new puppy. Since I work from home, love dogs, and apparently cannot control myself when it comes to offering to help people in a jam, I volunteered to walk him at lunch time this week until she can get him in puppy day-care.

On top of that, I am keeping my brother's dog, JC this week while my brother attends a conference. My brother, Jack and JC arrived last night about 5pm. So I had two house guests overnight -- my brother and his dog. Melvin is thrilled to have another dog in the house. I cooked a delicious (if I do say so myself) dinner of salmon and vegetables with fresh berries for dessert. (It was also visually appealing, but I forgot to take a picture to share with you). Jack and I talked up a storm and went for a walk after dinner. All very nice. A little hectic, but nice.

So it's 8am on Tuesday, and I have cooked breakfast, put the trash and recycle out by the street, seen my brother off on his trip, walked Melvin and JC, cleaned the kitchen, nursed the sick cat, showered, dressed, and written a blog about it. Whew. Now it's time to get to work. This must be a taste of how you mothers feel everyday.

Bring on the Eggs

I've been eating a lot of eggs lately. I have two for breakfast almost every morning. Once I decided to experiment with eliminating refined carbs and grains, eggs quickly became the obvious choice for breakfast. Instead of my usual oatmeal, cereal, or english muffin, I now have eggs. I had some lingering concern about having eggs nearly every day. I'm sure it goes back to the bad rap they got back in the 90's due to the cholesterol content. I remember a time when Weight Watcher's restricted these to four per week.

The Country Hen eggs available at Publix and Whole Foods. You can probably get them other places too, but I know for a fact these two stores carry them. These certified organic eggs are high in omega 3's. The hens live in sunlit barns, have access to outdoors in good weather, and lay their eggs in real nests. Visit the company's website to read more about their obvious love for the hens and commitment to delivering a very high quality product.

Then I did a little reading to bring my egg-knowledge up to date. Here's a link to an article from Mark's Daily Apple that provides a good overview and summary of current thinking on eggs -- "Smart Fuel: Eggs". Bottom-line: I am comfortable with my two-a-day egg habit. If starting my day with eggs for breakfast helps me eat a healthier diet overall, lose excess body fat, and therefore reduce assocaited health risks, then I say, bring on the eggs.

About the bacon -- I plan to address saturated fats in a future post.

A Very Well Worn Groove

Snack Time Re-invented.
Chicken, almonds, and strawberries.

Yesterday was a much better day than Monday. After hearing about how I felt on Monday, Laura's advice to me was to be sure I was eating enough protein and fat. (Laura is Laura DeMarco, owner and trainer at CrossFit Rx where I now workout). I know I started out eating enough protein and fat. But as the days went by and I realized I wasn't feeling hungry or craving sweets, I decided I could outsmart this whole thing by eating less of everything. That way I could lose weight faster. I had visions of "skinny-by-Christmas". Aargh! I don't even want to be skinny; I want to be healthy and lean. So it's amazing how quickly I slipped into a diet-mentality. It is a very well worn groove in my psyche for sure!

My first reaction to Laura's advice, "be sure you are eating enough protein and fat," was an immediate, "of course I'm eating enough! I'm probably eating too much." But when I stopped to think about it, I realized she might be right. Since Saturday, I had been eating less of everything since I wasn't feeling hungry. By Monday, it caught up with me, and I was feeling anxious, depressed, and craving sweets again.

There really is something to this low-carb lifestyle. For me, anyway. It may not be for everyone, but I feel so much better when I omit the refined carbs AND get enough of the other good stuff. It's funny that what I resisted for so long because it seemed too extreme now seems to make so much sense. All these refined foods have only been around for a relatively short time, and they are all created or manufactured by man. Why am I surprised that I feel so much better when I eat the food that God made?

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"One is unable to notice something -- because it is always before one's eyes."
~ Ludwig Wittgenstein ~

Saved by a Stir Fry

Monday Night Stir Fry
Turkey, Asparagus, Squash, Red Pepper, and Onion

Today was a hard day. I was hungrier than usual and craving sweets all day. I was tired and sleepy after lunch and found it hard to concentrate on my work. I couldn't remember why I decided to give up refined carbs. I wanted something very refined, very fast. I had some fresh, sweet cherries instead. I continued to feel down and craved real sweets -- not fruit! The bigger the craving grew, the dumber this whole endeavor seemed. Somehow, I managed to make it through the afternoon without diving into a vat of chocolate. After work, I thought a walk might help. But Melvin refused to walk with me, and I didn't want to walk by myself. So I decided to run some errands instead. I wound up at Target where I bought myself a stir fry pan; ever since I decided to eat more veggies I've been wanting to get one. So I bought it -- figured it was a good reward for the big changes I've made lately. I felt a little better. And on the drive home I dreamed of all the refined carbs I could stir fry in my new pan.

I stopped at Whole Foods to pick up some veggies for dinner. I considered the sugar-free chocolate covered almonds as an after-dinner treat. Picked up the package, held them, thought about it, and then put them back. I knew I would eat way more than a serving if I bought it. Who was I kidding? I considered the regular chocolate covered almonds that come in bulk; I could just measure out a few, a reasonable amount. But I knew feeding this particular craving would only make it worse. Sometimes it's important to listen to cravings and other times responding to it will just lead to wanting more. This was one of those times. So I bought my vegetables and left.

Once home, I prepared the vegetables for the stir fry along with some leftover turkey breast. I cooked it in a little olive oil and seasoned it with a pinch of salt and a generous amount of cracked black pepper. That's all it needed really. It was quite good. And I have leftovers! I feel better now. I'm having a cup of decaf with cream. I'm not thinking quite so much about sweets. I hope that tomorrow brings a return to the satiety that I have experienced for the most part since implementing these changes.

Garden Bounty and a Piece of Cornbread

Garden Bounty!
Fresh-picked from my brother's garden.

I drove over to my mom's house on Saturday, and my brother, Jack, who is quite the gardener came for a visit too. He brought a big bucket full of fresh-picked vegetables and herbs. I had a great time unloading the stash to discover lots of tomatoes, squash, red bell peppers, jalapenos, cucumbers, and more. For dinner, Mama and I stir-fried the squash with some vidalia onion; and we sliced some of the tomatoes, cucumbers, and red peppers. Also on the menu were fried chicken, turnip greens, and potatoes. Mama rounded out this southern meal with a big pan of her perfect cornbread. So for dinner, I had fried chicken (skin removed), lots of vegetables, un-sweet tea, and a piece of that cornbread. I chose to forego the potatoes, limiting my splurge to just one high carb selection. I felt in control of the situation rather than controlled by the situation. That's a big difference from the past, and I attribute it to this new way of eating. Maybe I'm a little more motivated right now than I have been, but mainly I attribute the difference to the change in my diet - eating fewer carbs and more protein and fat.

I'm really happy that I had this little "cheat" and was able to get right back on track. I noticed that I felt hungry within a couple hours of this meal. Not only did I have the cornbread, but I also had a smaller protein serving than normal. So the increased carbs and the reduced protein set me up for hunger later in the evening. On the drive home my stomach was growling, and I was thinking a good bit about food. But after a week of eating more protein and no grains or refined carbs, I was able to resist the mild temptation to stop for a snack. When I got home, I made myself a cup of coffee and had a handful of nuts. Sunday morning, after a good breakfast with plenty of protein and some fruit, I felt grounded again and satisfied.

Too Good To Be True

My standard lunch these days -- a Big Salad!

Every man is the creature of the age in which he lives; very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of the time.
~ Voltaire ~

I have completed six days with no grains or other refined carbohydrates. No cereal, no bread, no pasta, and certainly no cookies, candy, cakes, or ice cream. I've gotten plenty of carbs from vegetables and fruit, but a greater percentage of my diet has come from protein and fat over the past six days. And I've got to tell you -- I'm nervous to even say it for fear that it's just my imagination or the placebo effect, but here goes, I'll say it -- my food cravings have greatly diminished, dare I say disappeared? And I don't really feel hungry. I'm not thinking about food all the time -- what I just ate, what I'm going to eat next, what I want to eat but shouldn't, what I wish I had not eaten, or what I'm eating now for just one last time.

I haven't blogged about this sooner because I kept waiting for it to pass, thinking that it is too good to be true. I'm still worried that it's too good to be true. But I know others who have adopted this type of eating and they report the same. They have encouraged me to try it for a long time now. But I kept resisting it as too extreme, not in keeping with generally accepted nutritional guidelines and conventional wisdom. I finally just decided to try it for myself and stop relying on other people, even the government, to tell me what to eat. We all have our own inner wisdom if we will only listen. So I'm trying this new way of eating. I tried it for one day, and one day turned into six. We'll see what tomorrow brings.
If you are interested in learning more about this for yourself, here are some resources I have found helpful. They don't all agree on every point, but there is a shared common theme. Besides, I'm no longer looking outside of myself for the definitive answer. I'm gathering information, trying it if I choose, and listening to my body's own inner wisdom to find what works best for me.

Protein Power by Michael Eades, MD
Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes
The Paleo Diet by Loren Cordain
Mark's Daily Apple - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/

Could It Be?

A Big Salad with Iced Green Tea Makes a Terrific Lunch.
That's 4 oz. grilled steak and a ton of veggies with balsamic vinaigrette.

This weekend I tried eliminating all grains from my diet. I wanted to see how I would feel. I am very concerned with eating a healthy diet, and of course I believe - because conventional wisdom says so - that grains play an important role in a healthy diet. But I also continue to struggle with moodiness and carbohydrate cravings -- which at times feel more like an addiction than a craving. So in my continuing quest to find what works best for me, I decided to try it for the weekend. Actually, I decided to try it for Saturday. I committed to one day of no grains. No oatmeal or Ezekiel bread (two of my favorites). And of course no refined carbohydrates. I just wanted to test it for a day and see 1) if it was even possible and 2) how I would feel.

Saturday went well, and I felt pretty good, so I decided to try it again on Sunday. Sunday went a little better, and I felt even better by last night, so I decided to try it again today. This morning I feel as well as I have felt in a long time. Calm and content.

What surprised me most was that it really wasn't that hard to do. There was plenty of good food to eat without eating grains. And it got easier as time went by because the cravings lessened and my mood improved. Could it be that eating no grains is easier for me than eating some grains? I know it has only been two days, but the thought that this could possibly provide a solution to my food cravings, emotional eating, and depression...well, I would be ecstatic if that were the case. And losing body fat would be a fantastic side effect!

Brussels Sprouts tastes good with eggs and bacon.
There is no rule that says you can't eat them for breakfast!

Almonds and decaf coffee with milk make a satisfying dessert.
Serving it in a pretty dish helps!

Can't Beat That

Healthy "Fast" Food

I had a busy day yesterday, and I was out of the house most of the morning. When it came time for lunch, I needed something quick. And smart. So I zipped by Whole Foods on my way home to pick up a meal to go. I got a couple of slices of roast turkey breast from the deli and two vegetable sides from the hot bar. Delicious. I felt so virtuous for the choices I made. ;-) And I had enough left over for another meal. Can't beat that.

I'm getting back in the groove with CrossFit now that I have joined CFRX. I worked out Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. I'm taking today as a rest day and will be back in the gym on Saturday. The knee continues to improve.

Things are looking up for me. I hope for you as well.

A New Standby

Tuna with Chopped Vegetables

I'm trying to eat more vegetables, fruit, lean protein, and healthy fats -- and fewer refined carbs. I feel so much better and more satisfied when I eat this way, but after a lifetime of eating differently, sometimes it's hard to know what to eat. I need some "go-to" meals, especially for breakfast and lunch, to replace the old standbys of cereal and sandwich.

Yesterday I made a tuna salad from canned albacore tuna, grape tomatoes, cucumbers, red onion, and green olives. I drizzled the whole thing with a dressing of extra virgin olive oil, red wine vinegar, and cracked black pepper. It was tasty, and it looked good -- that's important to me too. Plus it was quick, easy, and portable -- all good qualities in a lunch. This one makes my list of new standbys.

Pulling Weeds

Japanese Painted Fern with blue hosta and yellow lamium

I did some weeding in my garden over the weekend. Earlier this year, my neighbor took down most of the trees in his back yard, turning my back yard -- which used to be a shade garden -- into an afternoon from hell. The late day sun pours in now. Add better than average rainfall and months of neglect and what do you get? Weeds! A wide assortment of weeds. Even some wild black locust trees (yes, trees!) have sprung up. So I decided it was time to take back my garden. A weedy garden can be overwhelming. But like any other daunting task, you just have to begin. And so I began. Pulling one weed, vine, tree, at a time. Pretty soon I had a pile of weeds bigger than Melvin. And that's when I noticed it -- the Japanese Painted Fern that I planted several years ago. This beautiful fern has striking gray-green foliage with reddish-purple accents. I love this plant! But the weeds had overtaken it, and I had forgotten all about it. What a happy surprise to reclaim it.

Gardening is a perfect metaphor for my life right now. I'm weeding out what doesn't belong. I'm pruning back what's overgrown. I'm uncovering forgotten treasures. I'm planting anew. I'm reclaiming my life, and I'm excited to see what can grow here now.

A New Toy and a Fresh Start

Breakfast in a Red Bowl
Oatmeal with Blueberries, Almonds, and Cinnamon

I discovered a new tool to help me keep track of my nutrition -- MyFoodDiary.com. The CEO of my company recommended it. He has lost more than 50 pounds over the past year using MyFoodDiary. Based on his recommendation, I decided to give it a try. I started with it this past Saturday. There's nothing ground-breaking here. It's just an online food diary. But it's a really good one. It's easy to use and provides lots of good feedback. It has been proven over and over again that keeping a food diary is key to successful weight loss and subsequent weight maintenance. I've tried the Weight Watcher online journal several times, but I find it a pain to use. So I end up attempting to keep a hard copy journal, but I haven't been very good about that lately. MyFoodDiary has provided a boost of motivation that I needed. It's like having a new toy. And who doesn't love a new toy?

I joined CFRX on Sunday. Yay! I have a gym now. The month of gym-less-ness is behind me. Now I have the chance for a fresh start. And who doesn't love a fresh start?

P.S. I had two soy sausage links with that oatmeal...for those of you about to comment that I need to have some protein at breakfast. =o)