"Moment of Clarity"by Duy Huynh
I am tired. Tired of accepting less than the best for myself. Tired of disappointing myself and others. Tired of failure. Tired of taking two steps forward and five steps backward. Tired of not allowing myself to have what I really want. Tired of making excuses. Tired of sabotaging myself. Tired of putting up barriers and stuffing down feelings. Tired of carrying around this burden. Tired of starting over. Tired of avoiding. Tired of waiting. Tired of talking. I am tired of wandering around just outside my Promised Land. I am ready to go on inside and take what is mine. I am ready to do the hard work required of me.
It is time to begin again.
8 comments:
I love the picture today. Thanks for the reminder that it is always ok to begin again. Looking forward to seeing you soon.
Naomi, good seeing you last night at Sheryl's party. That's for the comment here.
I have an observation to share regarding this "Begin Again" post. I wrote it mid-morning yesterday (Friday). Obviously, it wasn't a happy post, and I didn't feel good writing it...considered just shutting down the blog after I wrote it. But it captured how I was feeling and my frustration so in that sense it was good. But when I got to my workout yesterday at 4:30, I could hardly bring myself to do the WOD...the thought of all the box jumps really overwhelmed me. And there were pullups in the WOD...pullups have become symbolic of my lack of progress on the weight loss front. Not just lack of progress, but weight gain. Anyway, I carried the theme of "I'm tired" into the wod yesterday. I focused so much on my frustration and failure in my writing and that's what I carried with me into the workout yesterday. I don't regret it...sometimes you just have to look youself in the mirror and speak the truth, even if it makes you feel worse temporarily.
So today, I'm feeling more positive and optimistic. I had a pretty good day with my nutrition yesterday. I got a grip on things, didn't do any mindless eating, and journaled every bite in my food diary. And I did the WOD despite wanting to run from the gym.
PatC - You know what we have always said: The TRUTH may not be PRETTY, but it will set you FREE! Free to be you! Free to make the changes you want to make! Free to leap onto boxes and free to master those pull-ups. You have a determination and stick-to-it-ness (is that a word? lol!) that I always admire! You never cease to motivate me to be better than I am. I also think you underestimate your power. You are one TERRIFIC lady, and I am thankful to have you as a friend!
We did not make it to Atlanta last night. I got caught up in the office yesterday. Just too much to do! Sometimes, I wonder if vacations are worth the hassle required to be away for a week! We are leaving Savannah in a bit to head North. I hope you have a terrific Saturday!
Thank you, Byron. I needed that. I can always count on you to encourage me. That's one reason why you are my BFF...
Pat C, I think your blogs continue to hit home with many of us who follow it. Thanks for continuing to share. On the subject of tired it is amazing to me that when I am physically worn down that my mental fortitude flips from a I can do this mentality to a what is wrong with me mentalitly. I'm doing better these days on not letting myself get there but illness this week came close to getting me there. The blog today was perfect b/c this is the first day I'm feeling better and I have taken care of myself pretty well. Made myself rest/not push to get WOD in anyway even if I didn't focus on eating well. I hope to get in a walk/short jog this afternoon and be back full steam ahead on Monday.
Enjoy the day off! Pamper yourself- you deserve it!
I got a tree in a can!
Yeah, Sheryl! I hope you love your Tree in a Can!
Pat, we all have those moments, you are such a hard worker and so determined, if we didn't hit the low spots, the high spots wouldn't feel so good! So just keep truckin' it will all come together soon!
I am seriously considering going Paleo after Dec 26(going to give myself some free days until them, while trying to incorporate some Paleo techniques), I think it is the way we should eat, I'm sick of the fake crap that is all around us (yes even protein shakes, blah!)If I can eliminate the fake stuff I know I will feel so much healthier!
Looks like Sheryl's Xmas party was FUN! Sorry I missed it, but at Eric's grad party I did connect with a Xfitter, and I talking with him about Xfit all night felt like "home!"
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