The Most Fattening Time of the Year

It's the Most Fattening Time of the Year

by Bob Rivers

(a parody of  "The Most Wondering Time of the Year")

It’s the most fattening time of the year
With that pumpkin pie filling
and everyone swilling down eggnog and beer
It’s the most fattening time of the year

It’s the lip smackingest season of all
while your shopping you’re cheating
impulsively eating that junk at the mall
It’s the heav-heaviest season of all

There’ll be turkeys for basting
and stuffing for tasting
and giblets and gravy will flow
there’ll be cookies that mom baked
and leftover fruit cake from a christmas a long time ago

It’s the scale flattening time of the year
while your diet you’re blowing
there’s calories going straight down to your rear
It’s the scale flattening time of the year

There’ll be after meal dosing
and arteries closing
cholesterol levels will grow
it’s too cold to go jogging
to brisk for tobogganing
so pass me a hot buttered roll

It’s the most fattening time of the year
All those gingerbread shingles and
chocolate Chris Kringle’s will tremble in fear

It’s the most fattening time,
it’s the belt loosening time,
it’s the most fattening time of the year