Enough of the deep, philosophical and spiritual ruminations of the last few days. I just want to lose weight already! I want to look good. It's pretty simple, really. I just want to quit eating junk and quit eating when I'm not hungry. Oh for it to be that simple...
Yesterday I found myself with a bag of Reese's Peanut Butter cup miniatures in the shape of hearts. I picked them up on the way home from my Weight Watcher meeting! How crazy is that? After a lunch of high-calorie trail-mix which I scarfed down while feverishly working to finish a project for my boss, I ate a few of the candies. Then a few more. At this point, I was aware of what I was doing, and a voice inside my head was telling me to stop. "You are not hungry; you don't want this crap. Stop Eating." I ate a couple more. The voice grew louder. "STOP EATING! YOU ARE NOT HUNGRY!" I walked to the kitchen, considered the trash can, but then grabbed a bowl, poured the chocolates in and covered them with water. For good measure, I added a few drops of Palmolive to the mix. Just to make sure they were inedible.
That's not a pretty picture, and you may even be thinking, "she's never going to get a handle on this. She's hopeless." I've certainly thought it in the past; less so lately. The odds are in my favor. Every time I try, my odds of success improve. I don't know anyone who has demonstrated more persistence than me. Or who has been more honest and open about her shortcomings....who has shined the light of truth on her ugly parts and invited all her friends to have a look. And I have a track record of success. I'm 60 pounds lighter than my all time high. Yeah, so I'm up a few pounds over the last few months; the general trend over the years has been in the right direction. So what if I'm not your typical CrossFitter who followed a straight-line trajectory to ideal weight and perfect pullups. So what if the Zone and Paleo have not been a magic bullet for this wacky girl? I'm real. I'm alright. When I make it (and I will), there will be many who can relate and take inspiration from my story. Yes, many others just like me who find taming a CrossFit workout is nothing compared to beating the bitch of emotional eating.
11 comments:
I wonder what a "typical crossfitter" is. I don't think I'm that either. I hope that's something you made up in your mind lol because my path has been prettymuch like yours (as with the diet).. up n down, sideways... a few steps back... tweak... tweak... fail... PR... plateau... ohlooky, up again. ;) And right when I was getting ready to slit my wrists hehe.
All I know is you can deadlift a helluva lot more than me, which irks the bejeezus out of mah veteran ass HAHAHA
I think it's something stupid & zen... like "the weight falls off when we quit farting with our mind"
RE-BOOT BAAYYYBBEEE!!
Here's to our amazing selves. Human this week. Imagine that.
Pat I think there is no special answer for everyone when it comes to diet, there are some big no no's though, like buying Reeses, but you had a sweet tooth and were trying to cure it. I have been doing a semi paleo, a Rae Paleo diet, and I like it and I feel happy about it. I have even been able to say to the candy pushers at work no, and really not want the candy. I try to eat mostly veggies, meats, fruits, nuts. I am still doing my protein shakes, although I just ordered a Vegan one instead of whey. I make sure I only have one serving a day, different from when I use to have much more. If I crave chocolate I have one scoop of the powder with some nuts or almond butter and vanilla flavored stevia. This might sound gross to some, but I know its better than a Snickers :)
I also use Fiber35 Fiber Sprinkle, it is a natural fiber from Acai and it really helps with fullness. I love my fruits and veggies but they do nothing in helping me feel full, protein and fiber I feel are perfect for that. I do allow one cheat day, but I have not touched fast food or candy (besides the holidays) in years. I also believe in fasting, doing it from 5 pm one day to 5 pm the next seems to be the easiest, I use either Arden's Gardens Fast, Kombuchas, or Nature's Plus Malibu Miracle Ultra. Here are some staples that help me, I order everything from Vitacost:
Nature's Plus Ultra Energy Bar Exotic Berry Crunch -- 12 Bars
Fiber 35 Diet Diet Sprinkle Fiber -- 10 oz
Nature's Plus Ultra Energy Bar Choclate Peanut Crunch -- 12 Bars
Bob's Red Mill Whole Ground Flaxseed Meal Organic -- 32 oz
Protos Foods Ostrim Snack Stick Barbecue -- 1.5 oz
One more secret, when I have been "bad" I head over to Health Unlimited near Toco hillsfor : Miracle Slim Plum
http://www.eyanghealth.com/miracle-slim-plum.html ( these plums from China are amazing Health Unlimited can not keep them on the shelf!)
Like I said this is not for everyone, I just wanted to share what I feel has helped me :)
Thanks for sharing all of that info. Rae. I plan to check out some of it.
Pat, in my opinion this is one of your best posts in terms of crafts(wo)manship. This line is artful: taming a CrossFit workout [is]nothing compared to beating the bitch of emotional eating.
When's the book coming out? "Food and the City"?
Wow! Thanks Ladies for all the support. I am so fortunate to have such wonderful friends.
Rae, thanks for sharing your favorite products. I'll check out the website.
Sheryl, thank you for the HUGE compliment. And the edit. I fixed my typo.
Funny. It wasn't an edit Pat. The way you had it was fine. I had to add the "is" because I left of the sentence intro.
Self edit. Off not of
ps just read over your post Pat, 60 pounds that is amazing, congratulations!!!!
pps the Slim Plums you do not have to buy the expensive box, Health Unlimited sells them for $2 a piece :)
Thanks Rae. the slim plums were the first things I looked at and I was in sticker shock.
I've been known to use packets of sweet n low to destroy plates of restaurant food that I am mindlessly consuming. Gross. Good trick with the Palmolive. Sounds like progress to me.
Step 1.
Pat- When I read your story this AM I thought she IS making progress. How many times in the past would you have not listened to the voice in your head and eaten the entire bag of Reese's then headed out to get some ice cream or something else to finish out the day. Knowing yourself well enough to put soap/water on the candy is impressive. I'm with you and Sheryl Crossfit is easy compared to emotional eating.
Post a Comment