I Hope Also With You

Piedmont Park
A beautiful view observed along the main pathway.

I went for a walk in Piedmont Park last Friday. What a treat. I haven't been there in a while, and I was impressed. The lawns have recovered nicely from the drought, and all the restoration work looks really good. I must remember to enjoy this jewel just down the road. Melvin agrees.

I have continued to visit gyms. Since I last blogged, I visited CrossFit Rx and CrossFit Peachtree. I have decided to join CrossFit Rx. This is a great little gym with outstanding trainers, and it's just 3 miles from my house. And I already know a few people who workout there, so that's a big plus. Being part of a supportive Crossfit community is very important to me, and I hope to find this at CFRX. I liked CrossFit Peachtree a lot, but given the midtown location, it is obviously not a practical option. I hope to visit CFPT again with my friend, Russell who has decided to join there.

The knee continues to improve, ever so slowly.

I'm doing fairly well with my nutrition. I got side-tracked a little over the weekend and found myself feeding some junky emotions. The good news is that I nipped it in the bud before things got too out of control. I'm working on a couple of articles for the blog that are deeper, more soul-searching. But these take time, and I have to be in the right frame of mind to write -- and then share these.

So even though the posts are fewer lately, lots of good stuff is happening with me. I hope also with you.

Reinterpretation of an Old Standard

Roasted Beet Salad with Walnuts and Goat Cheese
Steamed Asparagus
Sliced Tomatoes with Salt and Pepper

I'm trying to eat more vegetables. And not just more of the same old thing. I've had enough broccoli and mixed greens to last me for a while. It is time for some variety so tonight I roasted fresh beets and made a beet salad with walnuts and goat cheese. I served it with steamed asparagus and fresh tomatoes. An updated version of the "vegetable plate". Growing up, a vegetable plate meant peas, butter beans, corn, and a big piece of cornbread. And don't forget the iced tea. Sweet of course. But I like this fresh, light, simple reinterpretation of an old standard.

Fresh Beets, Purple and Gold

A word of warning if you are going to cook or handle purple beets. Don't wear white. I had purple beet juice and stains everywhere!

Like Coming Home

Zeke, Erica, Marshall, me, Scott
(Sheryl left before the picture, and Danielle took the picture.)

Thanks to Marshall, I dragged my behind over to Fitness Battalion CrossFit tonight for a workout. Marshall coached while I chased a group of fast, strong, athletes: Zeke, Scott, Danielle, Erica, and Sheryl. We did a workout called the "CrossFit 300." It looks like this:

For Time:
25 Pullups
50 Deadlifts; M: 135#/W: 95#
50 Pushups
50 Box jumps, 24"
50 Floor wipers; M: 135#/W: 95#
50 Kettlebell Clean n Press; M: 36#/W:
25 Pullups

I scaled and modified as needed. I've never done "floor wipers" before and when Marshall first demonstrated, I doubted that I could do these. But what do you know? I could. And that made me happy. But the best part was working out with these friends. It felt like coming home after a long trip.

Pondering the Mundane

Asparagus Omelet with Strawberries and Pineapple

Just a quick post tonight to report on how things are going.

On the nutrition front, I am doing a little better. I've been sharing my food diary with a friend every day. This accountability has really helped me get a grip. I'm still craving sweets and carbs, still struggling with the blues some, but hanging on. I'm fighting it. I haven't thrown in the towel.

On the exercise front, I'm doing something, and the knee is slowly improving. I swam last Friday; I wrote about that. On Saturday I did a CrossFit workout that I called "Look Ma, No Knees" It was 5 rounds of 20 wall-ball sit ups (12#), 15 shoulder press (35#), and 10 push ups. On Sunday I did a chipper workout that was also easy on the knees: 25 step-ups, 25 pull ups, 25 dumb-bell swings (25#), 100M farmer's walk with 25# dumbbells, 25 knees-to-elbows, 25 shoulder press (35#), 25 good mornings, 25 wall-ball sit ups (12#), and 100 jump-rope singles. Tonight I did a kick-boxing workout at X3 in Inman Park. Audrey told me about this gym, so I decided to give it a try. And I'm walking everyday. Melvin is very happy that I have added more walking to my routine.

I'll get through this rough patch. Everything is going to be just fine. I have friends dealing with real hardships like unemployment and serious health issues. I am blessed to be able to ponder the mundane. Blessed and thankful and praying for my friends.

Sometimes He Makes Us Swim

Hilda goes for a swim.
by Duane Bryers

Well I did it. I have been threatening to do it for more than a week now, but tonight I did it. I went for a swim. I donned my swim suit and dove right in. And lived to blog about it. I have (had) this silly notion that I'm not fit enough to go swimming -- well, it's not really the swimming part that concerned me, it's the swimsuit part. Hey, I never said I wasn't crazy. The whole point of this blog is to work out my wackiness. I know it doesn't make sense, but our fears and inhibitions don't always make sense. Actually, they probably rarely make sense. And when the guy in lane one exited the pool in a skin that fit him like . . . well, a skin, I was reminded that this insanity is uniquely feminine. Let's just say that despite his less than perfect physique, he was quite comfortable in his skin. Good for him!

I swam laps for 15 minutes and treaded water for 5 minutes. Good enough for a first outing I think. I felt some pain in my injured knee while I was treading water, but nothing too serious, and this just confirmed for me that I do need alternative exercise right now. All in all, a decent workout. But the real accomplishment today had nothing to do with exercise and everything to do with overcoming fears and ignoring old scripts.

Sometimes God calms the storm. At other times, he calms the sailor. And sometimes he makes us swim.
~ Author Unknown ~

Hot Pink Toes

New hot pink toes!

I am having a hard time. There. I said it.

Because of this knee problem, I am very limited in what I can do in the CrossFit world, so I haven't joined a gym yet. I really need to be in a gym. I've got to take care of this ASAP. And I need access to a pool. I've checked into pool options, and the only thing holding me back now is the thought of me in a bathing suit. I don't want to swim for exercise. I would rather do "Fran" everyday for the rest of my life. Hmmm . . . that's a little something that I need to overcome, I think. Another growth opportunity. Great. Just great.

I’m on a slippery slope. Without my typical burner workouts, combined with the recent loss and change in my life, I feel myself heading deeper into depression. When I feel blue or depressed, I crave sweets and carbs to make me feel better. But this just sets up a vicious cycle that makes the depression worse. I know this, but I am still having a hard time eating well.

I do have a glimmer of optimism this morning. My knee is noticeably better today than it was. I saw the orthopedist yesterday, got an injection of cortisone for the swelling, and it is already better – still swollen, stiff, and painful, but better. The cortisone doesn’t solve the underlying issue, but it sure makes me feel better to have improvement. All the rest and ice in the world were not budging it, and I was starting to worry that it might never get better – that I might never be able to squat or lunge again. So I am very thankful for the improvement I feel this morning.

And I got a pedicure last night. New hot pink toes! I usually go for a more natural look, but this was an act of desperation. Desperate times call for desperate measures . . . even me in a bathing suit.

Small Handful

The Shasta Daisies and the Phlox are blooming.

Oh Lord. I just ate a whole bunch of pistachios. They have since been removed from the house along with the other nuts left over from the party. Apparently, I do not understand the words, "small handful." . . . Oh well. At least it wasn't the junky sweet emptiness that I so often get into trouble with. It could have been worse. And what's done is done. Move on.

I'm feeling good today -- more positive and hopeful. My mood has been up and down over the last [nearly] two weeks since I sold my interest in CFED. At first I just felt relieved. Happy to be able to sleep and to have my life back. Then came the feelings of loss and sadness. And I have felt some anger, although I tried not to hang out there. Nothing good comes of it. Really, nothing good comes of looking back at all. Not for long any way. And all those emotions – sadness, loss, anger – can only be kept alive by looking back. So I’m learning what I can from the experience, growing from it – hopefully becoming a better person – and choosing to move forward. Even starting to feel a little excited about what’s next.

It is not lost on me that my improved mood coincides with an improved diet. Unfortunately, I'm not able to do the intense CrossFit workouts right now because of my knee; nothing helps me keep depression at bay better than a bust-a-gut workout. I've written about this often. But since I'm limited due to the knee, all the more reason to focus on clean eating. And nutrition is the foundation for all health and fitness anyway. So I'll view this little challenge with the knee as an opportunity to give my diet the scrutiny it needs – the chance to go back and lay a proper foundation.

The latest on my search for a new gym: I’m leaning towards getting a short-term membership at a place like the Y so that I can swim and use the elliptical. I know that is sacrilege to you hard-core crossfitters out there, but both are easy on the knee, and I’ve got to find a way to get my heart rate up since I can’t run, jump, hop, thrust or row right now. The doctor recommended both of these as good options for me until I take care of the knee. Meanwhile I’ll do what I can with CrossFit so that I don’t lose too much strength – more sit-ups, pull-ups, and pushups. I was thrilled when I saw today's HQ WOD posted. Five rounds of 30 situps and 25 back extensions. I did this at home in the driveway. Of course I subbed abmat situps and good mornings since I don't own a GHD.

CrossFit Lamont
No Gym Required

Ice, Advil, and Rest

I fired up the grill tonight.
Now I have chicken, steak, and veggies for several meals.

Today was a good day. I ate well and kept my food journal. And I did a noontime workout at CrossFit Decatur. It was a good experience -- a small lunchtime crowd which was the perfect setting for me right now. I was pleased that I just went on in there and did it. I'm not sure where (or when) I will land, but it was good to get back in a gym today.

The knee is really bothering me from today's "Tabata Something Else" and from last night's exam and initial treatment. The doctor said he thought air squats would be fine, but apparently I need to hold off. It is inflamed and hurting again. I have another appointment tomorrow for followup and physical therapy. We'll see what they say. For now, it's ice, advil, and rest.

The Difference a Day Makes

Some of the fruits and veggies I bought at the market.

It really is so true that one day can make all the difference. When you are having a hard time, when you are way off track, when you can't even see the track from where you are, just remind yourself that one good day can make all the difference. I feel 100% better than I did this time last night. Than this morning even.

My turnaround started with the decision to attend a Weight Watcher meeting last night. I went to my meeting, faced the scale, and held myself accountable for my actions over the last few weeks. Then I sat down in the chair to learn from and be encouraged by others. Sue, my leader, issued a challenge that we eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. Specifically, eat a minimum of 3 different colors of fruits and veggies every day over the next week. Not just apples and broccoli everyday. Mix it up. It's more nutritious. And more interesting and satisfying.

So today went well eating wise. I made good choices and kept my food journal. I also kept my appointment to have my knee checked out. Good news. I'm going to live and my knee will recover if I will let it. The prescription is massage and physical therapy. Working out is fine, but I have to continue to modify/scale the workouts and absolutely stay away (for now) from things like thrusters and box hops --power moves that put a lot of stress on the knee.

So my next big challenge is to start gym shopping. . .

Eating for Patience

Hisbiscus moscheutos 'Disco Belle Red' blooming in Mama's garden.

For the last week I've been either celebrating with food or soothing myself with food, depending on my mood. For the two weeks prior to that, I ate whatever/whenever I had the chance. My life was in total chaos with the gym fiasco, so I just did the best I could. For the six weeks prior to that, during the time that I had decided to leave my ownership position at the gym and tried to find a way out, I ate for patience. You've heard of praying for patience. Well, I ate for patience. I don't recommend it. Praying is more effective. The point is this: when you use food as a crutch, there is always a reason to eat. If you don't have one, you make one up.

It has occurred to me again recently to just give up this fight. It seems too difficult a change for me to make sometimes. Why can't I just be the woman I want to be? Why is this so hard? I don't know the answer. But I know I can't quit. I have to keep trying. While I was in Kroger today, I noticed two very different women shopping near me. One was lean and fit. The other was large and unhealthy looking with swollen ankles. My future right there before me. My choice to make.

Life is never going to settle down enough that I don't have a reason to placate myself with food. I've just got to get back to making good choices more often than not. Starting now. I cleaned out my refrigerator which was full of nothing edible -- all food I had purchased the day the gym blew up (June 15). I plan on attending a Weight Watcher meeting tonight followed by a trip to the grocery store.

Next on my list is taking care of this knee which is preventing me from most exercise. I have an appointment tomorrow to have it checked out. And I started checking into gyms where I might workout next. No decision yet, but I will keep you posted.

Returning to normal. My choice to make. Everyday.

Fun Morning with My Sister

" With In"
by Hadley Hutton

I've had a restful few days at the cabin. I tried to unplug totally. Failed at that, but I did manage to back away from the computer to a large extent, and my cell phone doesn't work here, so that one was easy. I slept alot; rested and iced my knee/ham string. It is a little better.

Myra and I met for a workout yesterday at Sansford-Hull Elementary School. There is a nice area out front with pullup bars and a track. Yesterday I introduced her to the clean and the push press. This was also her first experience with the pullup bars so I included jumping pullups and knees-to-elbows in the workout. She surprised herself that she could even hang from the bar for the KTE. Here's the workout we did:

7 Rounds for time:

9 Good Mornings
7 Pullups (Myra: jpulls; Pat: band assisted)
5 Push Press (Myra: 20# bar; Pat: 25# dumbbells)
3 KTE
100 M Farmer's Walk (Myra: about 8#; Pat: 25# dumbbells)

Since we didn't have dumbbells lighter than 25#'s, we used Publix green grocery bags with water bottles inside for Myra's famer's walk. This worked great, and is easily scalable. It was a fun morning with my sister. I'm so proud of her. Her son Joseph is hospitalized at Egleston right now for treatment related to cystic fibrosis (just a tune-up; he's going to be fine). She could have easily let this get in the way and prevent her from working out. But she didn't. That's inspiring. She has hospital duty this week with Joseph which means she will be in Atlanta. We're planning to meet up for another workout while she is in town.

Like a Drunken Vegas Nuptial

I am stronger than I thought . . .
and in ways that really matter.

Many of you know that I have been dealing with challenges related to an investment I made at the beginning of the year. In November of last year, I decided to invest in the gym where I worked out. I loved it, loved the community, and loved my coach. So when she needed investors, I quickly volunteered. Too quickly. I made an emotional decision and ignored all the warning signs telling me anything other than what I wanted to hear. I went against my better judgment and made the investment, partnering with three other people. FOUR partners! My goodness, it’s no wonder we could not make it work. Like a drunken Vegas nuptial, this arrangement went south in a hurry.

I have spent the last two months trying to get free of the deal I struck just six months ago. And two weeks ago on June 15, with Sheryl, my business partner and co-investor in Europe, the two trainer/owners quit without notice. I’m not a trainer. I’m not even a very good athlete. I’m just someone who loved her gym and her coach and decided to invest in it to keep it going during a rocky time. So to be abandoned like this – well, to put it bluntly, it sucked!

With the situation behind me and my interest in the gym sold to my former coach and business partner, I am now free to write about it. Here is some of what I learned from this experience.

I learned that I am strong. When the gym was dumped in my lap, I didn’t crumble. I found a way to keep it going until Sheryl could make it back to help me. I already knew Sheryl was strong; I just didn’t realize my own toughness. I’ve had a successful business career, and I know how to manage difficult situations, but there’s something uniquely frightening about being totally out of your element and having to sink or swim. Immediately. There’s nothing like being 48, insecure about your weight and physical fitness, and then finding yourself in charge of a gym of young, fire-breathing crossfitters. That first morning when I stood in front of the 5:30 AM crew to review the workout and shout “3-2-1 GO,” I really just wanted to run away. But I didn’t. I faced the challenge head-on. And when some in the CrossFit community turned their back and looked the other way when I needed them most, I dug a little deeper. When I received an uninformed email from a trainer and friend telling me that I "don’t have what it takes," I burned the hurtful words as fuel for the challenge.

I learned that support sometimes comes from unlikely sources. When this first happened, I immediately contacted trainers, asking for their help. But it was quickly apparent that backing up one of their own was more important than coaching and training clients. But support did come; some from trainers and fellow gym owners, competitors even. And a lot from regular people -- regular people with real jobs who CrossFit because they love it, who excel at the workout of life and know that real strength is strength of character -- the will to hang in there, not for 20 minutes, but for 20 hours. Or 20 days. Or 20 years. Real strength is honoring your commitments and your word even when it hurts, even when you want to run and hide. Even when you want to quit.