Make This For Dinner Tonight!

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon

One of the yummiest dishes I made for Thanksgiving was also the easiest. My mom and sister both asked for the "recipe." Even my brother asked for it; everyone loved this dish. There were no leftovers!  I would make it again for dinner tonight, but I'm not eating bacon right now. I made an exception for Thanksgiving, but no more bacon until after my cholesterol re-test.  But all you bacon-eaters should go out right now and buy yourself a big bag of Brussels sprouts and some bacon. Make this for dinner tonight!

Note: the correct spelling is Brussels sprout, not brussel sprout. This little cabbage was named for the city of Brussels, Belgium.

Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Bacon
Ingredients:
3 or 4 slices of bacon cut into bite size pieces
4 pints (or so) of Brussels sprouts, trimmed and halved
sea salt
cracked black pepper

Preheat oven to 425.
Arrange bacon in a single layer on large rimmed baking sheet. Bake until fat is rendered from the bacon, about 5 minutes or so. Remove from the oven. Add Brussels sprouts to the pan. Using a spatula stir/toss so that the sprouts are coated with the bacon fat. Season with sea salt and cracked black pepper.  Return to the oven and roast until the Brussels sprouts are browned and tender, about 20 minutes.

Orange Cranberry Walnut Salad



Orange Cranberry Walnut Salad with Orange-Ginger Dressing

I used to make Orange Cranberry Walnut Bread every year for Thanksgiving. I would make it the morning of Thanksgiving, and when my family arrived, the comforting aroma filled the house. I served it warm from the oven with coffee. It was my own little tradition, my way of showing them love and putting my personal stamp on the holiday. Plus, let's be honest, it gave me yet another vehicle for maximizing the sugar in my diet. 

Inspired by that memory, this year I made a kale salad with oranges, cranberries, and walnuts. It was delicious and beautiful. And healthy.  Here's my recipe.

Orange Cranberry Walnut Salad

1 bunch of kale, cleaned, deveined, and chopped
3 oranges, peeled, sectioned, and chopped into bite size pieces
~1/2 cup of dried cranberries
~1/2 cup of toasted walnuts

Combine all ingredients except the walnuts in a bowl.  Drizzle with Orange-Ginger Dressing and toss to coat all the kale.  Kale leaves are hearty and stand up well to the dressing. You can toss this an hour or more before ready to serve, and it will hold up just fine. It is actually better if it sits with the dressing for a while before serving. When ready to serve, add the walnuts and toss.

Orange-Ginger Dressing
~1/3 cup of fresh-squeezed orange juice
~1/3 cup good extra virgin olive oil
~ 2 tsp fresh ginger, grated
sea salt and cracked black pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a jar with a tight lid. Shake well to combine.

Meatloaf

Terri requested my meatloaf recipe so I decided to post it here.  I can't really call it mine since I used the one from the new Paleo Comfort Food cookbook. (Great cookbook. Get it!) This makes a HUGE meatloaf or two normal loaves. I made two and froze one.  Here is the recipe.

Turkey Meatloaf
(from Paleo Comfort Food by Julie & Charles Mayfield)

Ingredients:
2 medium sweet onions, chopped
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp black pepper
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp garlic powder
2 tablespoons coconut oil
1 tablespoon tomato paste
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
2 large eggs
4 pounds ground turkey (or sub whatever meat you want)
1 cup Cave Ketchup

Preheat over to 325.

Saute onions, red pepper and all spices with coconut oil over medium heat until onions become translucent, about 10 minutes. Remove from heat, and stir in tomato paste, stock, and Worcestershire sauce. Set aside to cool.

In large bowl, crack eggs over your turkey and fold in the cooled onion mixture.

Form the meat mixture into whatever shape suits your fancy, but the traditional loaf will cook evenly. Place on a sheet pan or casserole dish. No greasing required.

Pour the Cave Ketchup over the top and bake for 90 minutes. Internal temp should reach 160 degrees.


Cave Ketchup

Ingredients:
6 oz tomato paste
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/4 tsp mustard powder
1/2 cup water
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1 pinch allspice
1 pinch salt
1/8 tsp paprika
1 clove garlic
1 bay leaf

Combine all ingredients (except garlic clove and bay leaf) in a medium sized sauce pan.

Bring to a boil stirring frequently.

Add garlic clove and bay leaf (whole). Reduce heat and allow the mixture to simmer for 20-30 minutes stirring occasionally.

Watch for desired consistency. It will thicken quickly toward the end. If you overdo it, just add a tablespoon of water back to the mix.

Remove the bay leaf and garlic clove. Allow ketchup to cool.

Troubling To Say The Least

If you are health conscious at all, you have probably heard the stories in the news about how high cholesterol is becoming an issue at an earlier and earlier age. Apparently, it is showing up in children younger than ten years old, and there is talk of recommending regular cholesterol testing starting at age 9-12! I saw a story on ABC Evening News last night about a fit-looking teenage boy who is now taking statins because the dietary recommendations of low fat, high carb didn't work for him. Try as he may, he could not get his cholesterol down with diet and exercise. This was an active, lean young man. If this trend doesn't make us question conventional wisdom about nutrition and health, I don't know what will. I'm amazed how easily we embrace pharmaceutical solutions but refuse to question the failed dietary prescription. It is troubling to say the least.

I recently had my annual physical and registered improvement in fasting blood glucose, A1C, HDL, triglycerides, body weight, and other markers. But my LDL cholesterol is too high, and it has increased since last year. My doctor has been trying for a couple of years to get me on statins, but I have refused. Given this latest uptick, she was insistent. She's concerned about my health, and she is following the standard of care. I appreciate her and respect her, but I have a strong desire to correct my health issues with lifestyle changes whenever possible. I do not want to take a statin for the rest of my life. I reluctantly accepted the prescription and agreed to take it. After thinking about it for several days and studying alternative approaches, I decided against taking the statin. I can always take it later if further diet and lifestyle changes don't help, but my instincts and study tell me to pursue a different route. After reading (studying) Robb Wolf's Paleo Solution, I am convinced more than ever of the health implications and believe that I may benefit from a purist/strict implementation of Paleo. Here's what this means for me:

• No grains. I already do this with near 100% abstention. So this won't be difficult. I just won't allow myself any grain-based cheats between now and my blood test.
• No legumes. I don't eat legumes except for occasional peanuts and peanut butter. This is an easy switch to real nuts and nut butters.
• No dairy. This is one tenant of paleo that I have never embraced. After more study, I understand the reason for eliminating it, and given my health issues, I think it is a sacrifice worth trying. No more cream in my coffee; no more cottage cheese; no more cheese.
• Eat more fish (wild caught) for the omega 3's. This won't be easy for me because I'm not fond of fish and seafood. But I'm certain I can add at least two fish meals per week. I've got one week under my belt, and I ate fish twice. It didn't kill me.
• Whenever possible, eat 100% grass-fed meat (for the omega 3's). Conventional meat is high in Omega 6's because of the grain diet cattle are fed.
• No bacon or sausage or other processed meats.
• High dose Fish Oil is recommended for unhealthy and/or overweight people. I'm increasing my dose to 20ml (4tsp) per day. I had been taking just 1tsp per day.
• No vegetable oils or products containing vegetable oil (prepackaged mayo, salad dressings, etc). I don't cook with vegetable oils, but I have been using prepackaged mayo and salad dressings which of course are made from vegetable oil. Even the ones that say "Olive Oil and Balsamic" are mostly canola or other vegetable oils. The reason for eliminating the vegetable oils is to get my Omega 3 and Omega 6 fats in balance. Our modern diet is way too heavy on Omega 6's and way too light on Omega 3's.
• Eggs must be Omega 3 enriched. I'm already doing this; I switched to high quality eggs a couple of years ago when I started eating more eggs. I also plan to limit eggs to every other day.
• Emphasize vegetables over fruit especially on light exercise days.
• Get plenty of sleep in a dark room. I'm already pretty good at this, but need to make sure I'm getting to bed at a decent hour every night.
• Increase Vit-D from 1000 to 3000 IU per day.
• Decrease nut consumption to just an oz or two per day. Most nuts have a very poor ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 fats. (Walnuts have the healthiest ratio). When you overdo on nuts, you can easily throw off the ratio of omega 3 to omega 6 fats. High omega 6's in relationship to omega 3's are implicated in high LDL and insulin resistance. Plus they are high calorie and keep me from dropping weight.
• Strict compliance. This is probably the number one thing I need to do. Just be consistent and stick with it. I had gotten too lax and was allowing myself more than an occasional cheat.

So that's my plan leading up to my blood test on December 7. I implemented these changes over a week ago on November 4. That allows for more than 30 days of strict paleo, and if these changes are going to help me I should see improvement on the retest.

My New Favorite Food

Dirty Cauliflower Rice

My new favorite food is cauliflower rice. Back at the beginning of the year I discovered zucchini noodles and became a little obsessed with finding different ways to use them.  Now I'm hooked on cauliflower, specifically cauliflower rice.  Tonight I whipped up a skillet of "dirty" cauliflower rice using a bowl of leftover cauliflower rice from Sunday night's stir fry.  I added to it leftover ground pork & veggies from this morning's egg muffins. 

My leftover cauliflower rice had been steamed, so it didn't require cooking beyond just re-heating. I added it to the skillet first and seasoned it with salt and pepper.  Then I added the ground pork mixture (also pre-cooked), heated it through and voila.  Dirty Cauliflower Rice, a satisfying supper.

Note:  Dirty rice gets its name from the fact that it is cooked with a little meat (chicken, sausage, or whatever), and this gives it a dark or "dirty" look. 

In the Days of the Golden Rod

photograph by Jack Culpepper

Carolina Sandhills National Wildlife Refuge

I love October, and I love this poem.  I first shared it on this blog three years ago.  This beautiful October morning reminded me of it so I wanted to repost it. 

In the Days of the Golden Rod

by

Lucy Maud Montgomery

Across the meadow in brooding shadow

I walk to drink of the autumn's wine.

­The charm of story, the artist's glory,

Today on these silvering hills is mine;

On height, in hollow, where'er I follow,

By mellow hillside and searing sod,

Its plumes uplifting, in light winds drifting,

I see the glimmer of golden rod.

In this latest comer the vanished summer

Has left its sunshine the world to cheer,

And bids us remember in late September

What beauty mates with the passing year.

The days that are fleetest are still the sweetest,

And life is near to the heart of God,

And the peace of heaven to earth is given

In this wonderful time of the golden rod.

Beef and Vegetable Stir Fry with Cauliflower Rice

Stir Fry with Cauliflower Rice

For dinner tonight I made a beef and vegetable stir fry with cauliflower rice.  I cooked steak and veggies in a little coconut oil and seasoned the dish with tamari (gluten free soy sauce), garlic, cumin, salt, and pepper.  To make the cauliflower rice, I rough chopped a head of cauliflower, steamed it for about 10 minutes (or less), then riced it in the food processor using the shredder blade.    The cauliflower rice soaks up the flavor of the stir fry and bulks up the dish, serving the same purpose as traditional rice at a fraction of the carbs and calories.  

By the way, it was not obvious to me which food processor attachment I should use to make cauliflower rice.  The first time I made it (last week), I used the standard S-blade.  This is a mixing/chopping blade that sits at the bottom of the bowl.  It is not the right blade to use for ricing or shredding vegetables.  Use the shredding disc that sits at the top of the bowl on a pedestal.  Then load the cauliflower through the feeding tube.  It gets riced and drops to the bottom of the bowl with no further processing.  Maybe this is obvious to you, but it was not to me.  I'm no wiz in the kitchen, but I eventually figured it out.

This is a perfectly paleo dish - just meat and vegetables.   Give it a try.

Cauliflower Rice

Call Me Crazy



Primal Pizza

Well you can count me among the truly crazy ones now.  I made a pizza with a cauliflower crust!  Yep, that's right.  Pizza with cauliflower crust. But guess what?  It's good!  And the crust even holds up reasonably well so you can eat it with your fingers like regular pizza.  Now before I share the recipe, I should point out that this is not a low-calorie recipe.  The primal/paleo label is not a license to stuff yourself on pizza (I'm talking to myself here).  So if weight loss is a goal, be cognizant of the calories consumed.  While not low-calorie, this recipe is a tasty, low-carb alternative to the real thing.  And it's easy to make.

Note:  there are lots of variations on cauliflower pizza crust.  I relied mostly on a recipe from Primal Girl's blog.

Primal Pizza

Ingredients for the Crust:
coconut oil or other fat to grease the pan**
1 head of cauliflower, approx. 2 cups when steamed and mashed.
2 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/4 cup almond flour
Seasonings to taste

**I read online that you can use parchment paper instead, and that would save about 200 calories.  The crust will stick if you don't grease the pan or use parchment.  Note that I haven't tried using parchment, but I read that it works.

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 425.
2. Grease a large baking pan.  I used a 19x12" jelly roll pan as pictured above.  (I haven't made cookies or a jelly roll in ages, so this pan was happy to get out of the cupboard.)
3. Clean and rough chop the head of cauliflower. Steam it until tender - about 10-11 minutes once the water comes to a boil.
4. Process steamed cauliflower in food processor to create a mash.  I suggest leaving it with a little texture to it - about the consistency of rice.  You should have about 2 cups of cauliflower once processed.
5. Transfer 2 cups of cauliflower to a mixing bowl.  Mix in the 2 cups of shredded mozzarella, the almond flour, eggs, and any seasonings you want to add to the crust.  I added cracked black pepper and garlic salt to mine. 
6. Spread it out on the baking pan.  I used my hands to spread it to cover the entire pan.  It will be thin, but it will cover the pan.
7. Bake at 425 for 17 minutes or so. 
8. While the crust is in the oven, you can prepare the toppings for your pizza.  I used 6 oz tomato paste mixed with Italian seasoning, 6 oz ground pork that was leftover from the stuffed acorn squash I made last night, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and 2 oz more of shredded part-skim mozzarella.
9. Remove the crust from the oven when done. Reduce oven temperature to 350.  Top the crust with toppings of your choice and return to the oven. I cooked mine for about 10-15 minutes more. 
10. Let it set for a few minutes before serving.  The crust will hold up better once it has cooled a bit.

For the calorie conscious:  I calculated the calories in my pizza using Fit-Day.  For the full pizza, I calculated 1946 calories.  I sliced it into 16 small pieces, and I ate 4 of them (486 calories) for dinner (about the equivalent of 2 regular slices of traditional pizza).  So like I said, it's not low-calorie, but it is low-carb, and it is good.    You can shave a few calories by using parchment instead of oil to grease the pan.  Also, you could save calories by making it vegetarian and/or omitting the cheese on top.  I used 2 oz cheese on top, and I will omit that next time; I think it will still be very good without the added cheese.  But you can't omit the cheese in the crust.  That's what holds it together.

How is it leftover? I had two leftover slices the next morning for breakfast.  I can't remember the last time I had cold pizza for breakfast so this was a treat!  It was very good eaten this way as well; it felt like I was cheating, but I wasn't.  This recipe is a wonderful addition to my collection of primal/paleo recipes.  You might want to give it a try.

This is what the crust looks like once baked.

Stuffed Acorn Squash

Stuffed Acorn Squash

To celebrate the first weekend of fall, I wanted to try acorn squash.  I've never cooked it before so I googled "acorn squash recipes."  Most of them involved adding brown sugar and butter to make it a sweet treat.  I had a different idea.  For some reason, I kept thinking of stuffing it with sausage so that's what I did.  Here's my recipe for "Stuffed Acorn Squash.".

"Stuffed Acorn Squash"

1 Acorn Squash washed and cut in half
dash of ground cinnamon
dash of ground ginger

~1/2 to 3/4 pound of ground pork
sea salt, cracked black pepper, red pepper flakes to taste
1/2 onion chopped
1/2 cup finely diced celery
1 egg, beaten
2 T mozzarella or other cheese, shredded (optional)

Pre-heat over to 350 degrees.
Place the squash halves cut-side down on a baking sheet.  Bake at 350 for 30 to 45 minutes until squash flesh is developing tenderness, but not cooked all the way through.

While the squash is baking, brown the pork in a skillet.  Season with salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes.  Remove to separate bowl.  Using two tablespoons or so of the pork drippings, saute the onion and celery.  Add celery and onion to the pork and mix together.  Add 1 egg beaten to the pork mixture. Mix well.

Remove the squash from the oven when starting to develop tenderness.  Turn the squash over (cut-side up) and place in a baking dish that supports the squash and prevents the halves from tipping over. Lightly sprinkle the squash flesh with cinnamon and ginger.  Divide the pork mixture between the squash halves.  Return to the over and bake for another 30 minutes or so until squash is tender all the way through. 

If desired, sprinkle each half with a tablespoon of shredded mozzarella or other cheese.  Return to the over for a few minutes to melt the cheese.

Fill Up on This

Mexican Chicken and "Rice"

It's time to get back to cooking some good-for-me food. I found this recipe for Mexican Chicken and "Rice" on Elana's Pantry.  This is my first time making cauliflower "rice," and I am pleasantly surprised at how it turned out.  It really bulks up a dish without adding all the carbs that rice or another grain would.  Plus cauliflower is so much more nutritious than rice.  This is a spicy, filling dish that cooks in one skillet and will be great for leftovers.  I recommend it.  Here's Elana's recipe with a couple of tweaks by me.

Mexican Chicken and "Rice"
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 medium onion, diced
1 cup celery, finely diced
1 head cauliflower, trimmed
1 (4 ounce) can green chilies, diced
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, cooked and diced into 1-inch pieces
salt, pepper, ground cumin, oregano and chili powder to taste
avocado
salsa

1. In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat
2. Saute onion over medium heat for 10 minutes, until soft
3. Add celery to skillet and saute for 5 minutes
4. Place cauliflower in a food processor with the "S" blade and process until the texture of rice
5. Add cauliflower to skillet and season to taste with salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder, and oregano.  Cover and cook 5-10 minutes, until soft
6. Mix chilies and chicken into skillet and cook until heated through
7. Serve topped with avocado and salsa

My Country Life

Freshly fallen acorns from White Oak trees at the cabin

The phrase "my country life" has been in my head for months now.  These words first started to knock around up there over a year ago when I was still living at 110 Lamont Drive.  I was in the final stages of selling it, and I was sad.  Even though I wanted to sell and looked forward to moving on, I was sad.  Life transitions are often bittersweet and seem to provide fertile ground for creativity.   So it was in this context that I first had the idea for My Country Life.  

My Country Life is a new blog where I'll be writing about my cabin and the time I spend here.  At the cabin I feel my most creative and inspired so it is a natural progression for me.  It's time to get back to writing, and "my country life" is what I want to write about next.  I will still post here at Finding It from time to time.  I love this blog and won't abandon it, but posts here will continue to be occasional, as they have been for a while now. 

The Last Remaining Remnants

I am ready to take the final steps in changing my relationship with food. I don’t eat sugar anymore. Or bread or pasta or other grains. I don’t eat in the car anymore; I no longer stop at the Quicktrip to load up on candy for a long journey. Or a short one across town. A spat with my best friend no longer sends me head first into a vat of Haagen Dazs. I can go to the movies now without consuming a large popcorn and M&M’s. A week at my cabin is no longer an excuse to eat junk or an escape from the healthy life I choose to live. Little Debbie doesn’t speak my language anymore, and I pity – not envy – the people tossing her in their carts. I can walk any aisle in the grocery store now and barely give a second glance to the processed, sugar-filled, transfat-laden poison lining the shelves. I can now easily decline the birthday cake at a friend’s party. I can eat just the ham and leave the biscuit. I am comfortable saying, “No thank you,” and not offended when the retort comes back, “What’s wrong with you?” I’ve changed. I have really changed.

And now it is time to finish the job and eliminate the remaining obstacles keeping me from I want. It’s not the fruit, which I sometimes eat a lot of. It’s not the carrots or the sweet potatoes. It’s definitely not the meat or the eggs or the vegetables. And probably not the cream in my coffee or the real butter in my cauliflower mash. It's not the food at all, really.  It’s the fairly routine evening “check-out”. The mindless eating, even if it is “paleo.” It’s the grazing after dinner when I’m not even hungry. It’s the almonds that I mindlessly consume while I watch TV and play on the computer. It’s the mixed nuts that I feverishly crunch to tamp down work-related stress. It’s the bag of "trail mix" that I can easily consume on a Friday evening at home. Alone. It’s the last remaining remnants of bad habits formed over a lifetime of using food to cope and escape. Well, I no longer need food to cope, and I no longer need to escape. It’s time to finish the job.

On Kindness

I love my new green teapot.

I've been thinking this week about kindness.  I strive to be a kind person; I make it a goal each day to treat people kindly.  Some days I succeed; some days I fail. But everyday I try, and I make amends when I fall short. 

But this week I considered what it means to treat myself with kindness. I thought about how wonderful it would be to apply the same thoughtful attention to kindness towards myself as I do for others. I started the day on Saturday with the intention of treating myself kindly.  Later that morning while shopping in a local store, I stumbled across the teapot  pictured above.  I wasn't shopping for a teapot, but there it was. In green.  A symbol of  my intention and an opportunity to act on it.  So I bought the teapot.  I also bought a set of four kitchen towels, in shades of green floral and geometric prints.  This little purchase reminded me that green is my favorite color and that simple, useful objects of beauty make me happy. And that treating myself kindly is nurturing and good. 

It occurs to me that kindness is very close to gratitude. That it is made of gentleness. That it is the color of beauty and the fragrance of loveliness.

Shepherd's Pie

Ever since I got my food processor, which enabled me to make good cauliflower mash, I have been thinking of making a Shepherd's Pie.  Sunday night I made a quick and simple skillet meal of ground beef, vegetables, and seasonings.  Monday night I used the leftover ground beef concoction to form the base of my Shepherd's Pie. Then I steamed a head of cauliflower.  Cauliflower mash is simple to make if you have a food processor.  When I tried making it without a food processor, I was never happy with the results.  Just toss crisp-tender steamed cauliflower into the food processor along with ~2 tablespoons of butter, a splash of half and half, sea salt, and cracked black pepper.  Process to your desired consistency.  Spoon over the ground beef mixture and bake at 375 until heated through and starting to brown on top.

Note: One small head of cauliflower was enough for an 8x8 casserole.

Chicken Fingers

Oven Baked Pecan-Crusted Chicken Fingers

This recipe is from Emeril Lagasse with modifications to make it more paleo-friendly. I made these on Friday night for dinner. I think they are even better left over and eaten cold. Melvin likes them too.

Oven Baked Pecan-Crusted Chicken Fingers

Ingredients:

• 1 and 1/2 cups pecan pieces
• 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons Emeril's Essence, available in the spice section.  It contains paprika, salt, garlic powder, black pepper, onion powder, cayenne pepper, oregano, and thyme.   Or you could season to your own taste.
• 2 large eggs
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut lengthwise into strips 

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Lightly grease a large baking sheet.

In the bowl of a food processor, combine the pecan pieces and 1 tablespoon Essence (reserve 2 tsp for egg mixture).  Pulse for 1 minute to combine. Pour into a shallow dish. In a bowl, beat together the eggs, olive oil and remaining 2 teaspoons of Essence. One at a time, dip the chicken into the egg mixture then dredge in the pecan mixture, shaking to remove any excess. Transfer to the baking sheet and bake, turning once, until the chicken is cooked through and the crust is golden, 15 to 20 minutes.

You can make a sauce for dipping if you like. I like them without a sauce.  Emeril's recipe included instructions for making a Honey Mustard Sauce, but I passed on that.

Totally Paleo and Totally Satisfying

Pot Roast, Cauliflower Mash, and Oven Roasted Brussel Sprouts



For dinner on Friday, I made a delicious meal of pot roast, cauliflower mash, and brussel sprouts.  Totally paleo and totally satisfying. This may be the best meal I've made since going paleo.  And so simple.  The roast went in the crock pot Friday morning. I just plopped the roast in the pot, added an inch or so of water, salt, pepper, 3 garlic cloves, an onion coarsely chopped, and a couple of carrots.  The garlic, onion, and carrot were for flavoring the broth; I tossed these out when the roast was ready.  If you want to do a pot roast along with root vegetables, you certainly can; but you would want to add the vegetables mid-way through the cooking process so they don't get too mushy.  I just wanted a nicely flavored beef broth that I could serve Melvin.  Besides, my day was too busy to stop mid-way and add the vegetables. 

To complete the meal that evening, I made the cauliflower mash and roasted brussel sprouts.  The cauliflower mash is really simple.  Just steam the cauliflower to crisp-tender, and then combine it in a food processor with butter, a splash or two of half and half, salt and pepper.  Make it the same way you would mashed potatoes.  You can omit the half and half and just use butter, salt and pepper.  Process until it's the consistency you want.  Add more salt and pepper as needed for your taste.   I tried making cauliflower mash before I had a food processor.  It was just okay.  The food processor makes all the difference.

I tossed the brussel sprouts in a little bacon fat, seasoned with salt and pepper, and then roasted in a 425 degree oven for maybe 20 minutes until brown and tender.  

Zucchini & Sausage Casserole

This recipe is inspired by one that I found in The Primal Blueprint Cookbook by Mark Sisson.  I made a few changes to his recipe and renamed it.  He called it Zucchini Egg Bake.  I like my name better.

There is a ton of grated zucchini in this recipe, and it creates a wonderful, soft, comforting texture for this casserole.  It reminded me a little of stuffing.  Definitely a keeper.

Zucchini & Sausage Casserole

4 T butter
1/2 cup finely chopped onion
2 pounds zucchini, washed and trimmed
3/4 pound or so of ground pork sausage (Whole Foods has a good ground pork sausage, sold by the pound in the butcher's case).
3 eggs
1/3 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
salt and pepper for seasoning

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Grate the zucchini.  I used the food processor shredder blade, and it worked just fine and made quick work of the 2 pounds of zucchini.

In a saute pan, melt the butter.  Add onion and zucchini.  Season with salt and pepper.  Saute on medium heat until zucchini is tender, 5-7 minutes.  Remove zucchini to a colander to allow any excess liquid to drain. 

Add sausage to saute pan and cook until almost done.  Combine the sausage and zucchini in a large mixing bowl.

In a separate bowl, beat 3 eggs with salt and pepper.  Add the beaten eggs to the zucchini and sausage mixture.  Mix well. 

Pour into an 8x8 glass baking dish.  Top with grated cheese.  Bake uncovered for 35-40 minutes.  Allow to cool for 15 minutes or so before serving.

Makes 4 servings.

Five Spice Beef and Broccoli

The other night I was craving something different from my usual standbys.  I wanted a satisfying dish, full of flavor.  I found this recipe for beef and broccoli in The Primal Blueprint Cookbook.  I liked it but preferred it without the garnish of fresh herbs.  I bet it would also be good served over cauliflower rice instead of the bean sprouts.  I might try that next time.   If you are craving some Chinese flavors, maybe give this a try before calling Golden Buddha for a delivery.

Five Spice Beef and Broccoli Stir-fry
~ From The Primal Blueprint Cookbook

Ingredients:
1/2 lb flank steak
3 T wheat-free tamari
1 T sesame oil
1/4 tsp Chinese five spice powder
2 tsp grated ginger
1 garlic clove, minced
1 head of broccoli, cut into florets and steamed (crisp tender)
6 oz (a few big handfuls) mung bean sprouts
I prefer it without the following:
1/4 cup finely chopped mint
1/4 cup finely chopped cilantro

Servings: 2 - 4

Instructions:

Mix together a marinade of tamari, oil, five spice powder, ginger and garlic. Slice the meat into thin strips. Marinate at least 15 minutes or up to several hours if you have time. Heat a saute pan or wok. Add meat and marinade to the pan and saute 3 - 5 minutes, stirring a few times so the meat cooks evenly. Add the steamed broccoli and saute a few more minutes. Add bean sprouts and remove from heat. Garnish with fresh herbs if desired.  I found the strong flavors of cilantro and mint did not compliment the other flavors.  I liked it best when I had it the second time without the garnish of fresh herbs.

Muffins!

Carrot Banana Muffins Right out of the Oven

I can't remember when I've had a muffin! Until tonight, that is. I don't plan to make a habit of these, but if I'm going to live a paleo/primal lifestyle, then it's important to have recipes for healthy, wholesome treats.  I tried one right out of the oven while it was still hot enough to melt butter. I found it to be quite tasty with a pleasing texture. For me these will be a very occasional treat. For people who don't have weight to lose or blood sugar issues, they could be enjoyed more often. I'm thinking of Erica who is always looking for something to go with her coffee. She could make a batch on Sunday and share them with Will throughout the week.

Recipe From Elana's Pantry: (with minor tweaks by me)

Carrot Banana Muffins

2 cups blanched almond flour

2 teaspoons baking soda
3/4 teaspoon finely ground sea salt

1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 cup dates, pitted
3 ripe bananas
3 eggs
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

¼ cup coconut oil, melted
1 ½ cups shredded carrots (don't buy pre-shredded carrots; they are too dry)

1 cup walnuts, chopped

1. In a small bowl, combine almond flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.
2. Chop the walnuts and set aside.
3. Shred/chop the carrots in the food processor using the shredder blade. Remove carrots and set aside.   Rinse and dry food processor bowl for next step.
4. In the food processor, combine dates, bananas, eggs, vinegar, and oil.
5. Transfer wet mixture to a large bowl.
6. Blend dry mixture into wet until thoroughly combined.
7. Fold in carrots and walnuts.
8. Spoon mixture into a greased muffin pan. I use coconut oil. Grease it well as these tend to want to stick. You could try paper liners; I have not used them with this recipe.
9. Bake at 350° for 25 minutes for medium muffins. Bake 30 minutes for mini-loaf pan. Mini-muffins are done in 15-20 minutes. 

Makes 14-16 medium muffins or about 36 miniature muffins. Or 12 medium muffins and 1 mini-loaf pan.

These deserve a pretty plate, and so do you.

Noodle News

Zucchini Noodles are my new favorite food!

My new favorite food is zucchini noodles.  I slice these using my Martha Stewart mandoline and then steam them just a few minutes until tender.  Then I toss them in a bowl with a little butter or olive oil and salt & pepper.  You can use these as the base for anything you would serve over pasta.   The noodles can be roasted instead of steamed; roasting yields a dryer noodle which is good for things like lasagna.  Steaming yields a wetter, softer noodle that is good for things like marinara sauce or meatballs.  Steaming is a quicker option than roasting.  Either way, I think you will like them.   

Seems Like Only Yesterday

I cannot believe I am fifty years old!  It seems like only yesterday I was a little girl living on a dirt road in rural middle Georgia, riding my bike, building a playhouse under the giant old pine tree, and wanting desperately to grow up. Seems like only yesterday I was in high school, well-behaved and studious, and looking for the road out of town.

Seems like only yesterday I was a scared young woman at UGA, working hard, pulling more than a few all-nighters, and following all the rules. I was focused on getting that degree that would land me that job that would take me out, and keep me out, of the rural south. Seems like only yesterday I landed my dream job right out of college and began my career. Not long after, I discovered my knack for getting things done and bossing people around. ;-) These skills served me well. And burned me out.

Seems like only yesterday I left corporate America for a different life. I went back to school. I changed careers. I got a dog! I bought some land and a truck. I built a cabin.  I sought to bring some of that simple rural upbringing back into my life.   I found the balance.  And the joy.

Seems like only yesterday I found CrossFit and discovered my inner-athlete.  But more important than that, I made new friends - friends for a  lifetime. 

These have been a fabulous fifty years, graced by a loving family, dear friends, beloved pets, good fortune, and health.   I am grateful for these fifty blessed years and look forward to what more is in store.

A Lot Like Omelets, Only Better

My Frittata with Spinach, and Smoked Gouda

I recently discovered frittatas, and I am loving them.  Frittatas are a lot like omelets, only better.  They are easier to make and the leftovers are perfect for quick meals, even meals on the go.  Leftover slices can be eaten cold, with your fingers, like a slice of pizza.   I make my frittatas in a cast iron skillet.  I start them on top of the stove on low heat, and finish under the broiler.  I use 6 well-beaten eggs as the base, seasoned of course with a little salt and pepper.   I add to that mixture whatever I want.  Favorite ingredients include ground pork sausage from Whole Foods, chopped fresh spinach, and cheese.  For the paleo-purists, you can easily make this 100% paleo; just choose ingredients accordingly.

Stuffed Peppers

Paleo Stuffed Peppers

Here's a simple paleo recipe:  Stuffed Peppers.  For mine, I made a meat sauce using grass-fed ground beef, cauliflower "rice", onions, garlic, mushrooms, and canned tomatoes.   I cooked this all up in a skillet and then stuffed the peppers with the meat sauce.  I baked the peppers at 350 degrees for about 35 minutes.  During the last few minutes of baking time, I topped with a little parmesan cheese.  I served these with Sauteed Spinach with Toasted Pepitas and Cherry Tomatoes.

In the Bleak Midwinter

My best Christmas gift this year was the snow that fell on Christmas Day.  I don't have the words to describe its beauty, but the picture above does not need any words.   Staying in that cabin in those white winter woods on Christmas was the best gift I have ever received.  It reminded me of a favorite Christmas song, "A Christmas Carol", also known as "In the Bleak Midwinter".  Like the snow on Christmas, this carol is simple, pure, and perfect and reminds me of my creator.

Click here to watch a performance of this song by Gloucester Cathedral Choir.

A Christmas Carol

(In the Bleak Midwinter)

Words by Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830-1894), 1872;

Set to Music in 1906 by Gustav Theodore Holst under the title "Cranham"

"In the bleak mid-winter

Frosty wind made moan,

Earth stood hard as iron,

Water like a stone;

Snow had fallen, snow on snow,

Snow on snow,

In the bleak mid-winter

Long ago.

Our God, Heaven cannot hold Him

Nor earth sustain;

Heaven and earth shall flee away

When He comes to reign:

In the bleak mid-winter

A stable-place sufficed

The Lord God Almighty,

Jesus Christ.

Enough for Him, whom cherubim

Worship night and day,

A breastful of milk

And a mangerful of hay;

Enough for Him, whom angels

Fall down before,

The ox and ass and camel

Which adore.

Angels and archangels

May have gathered there,

Cherubim and seraphim

Thronged the air,

But only His mother

In her maiden bliss,

Worshipped the Beloved

With a kiss.

What can I give Him,

Poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd

I would bring a lamb,

If I were a wise man

I would do my part,

Yet what I can I give Him,

Give my heart."

I Prefer The Latter

This picture was taken post-workout on December 3.  Laura emailed it to me that very evening, and in her note she said the picture was beautiful.  Wow!  What a gift to have a coach who can see beauty in its various forms -- who can see the beauty in me.  Four weeks ago I was given a label of "obese".  Four days ago I was given a new one.  "Beautiful".   I prefer the latter.

This picture is important and significant to me, not because of what my coach sees or anyone else for that matter, but because of what I see.  I see the beauty.  The strength.  The transformation.    I wish for you the same -- the freedom to see your own beauty, right now. Right where you are, just as you are. We are all beautiful in our own way.  Sometimes we just need others to help us see it. 

I am reminded of the words I recently shared from A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson.  Worth sharing again, I think.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 

More Than A Smidge

So I have to write about it, don't I? Yes, I do. Last Saturday, I chose to undergo a body composition test, also known as a body fat test. I've had them done in the past, once with the pinch method. And once holding onto one of those little machines that can somehow tell what you are made of with not much more than a handshake. Both of those were done more than two years ago. My diet has greatly improved over the last year, especially in the last four months. I've lost weight; I've gotten stronger and faster. And I gave up sugar. SUGAR! My best friend. I gave it up. That alone should be worth at least a point or two on the fat-o-meter, right?  

It was with this mindset that I approached the body composition test last Saturday. This test uses ultra-sound technology and is supposed to be more accurate than the tests I've had done in the past. I thought it would be really cool to get a new benchmark using this method. So I showed up early for my 9:30 am appointment, ready for my number. The thin young woman applied the gel and the ultrasound wand to my abdomen, my hip at the top of the hip bone, and the back of my arm—the three fattest parts on my body, but I guess that's the point. After a minute, she pointed to the result on the computer screen. I was stunned. It was higher than two years ago, higher than the worst that I had prepared myself for.

To add insult to injury, she then explained in excruciating detail where I landed on her chart. "Women in the range of 13-19% are considered athletes. Those in the range of 20-24% are considered fit, while women between 25 and 30% are still acceptable. Anything above 30% is considered obese or unacceptable." Yep. That's what she said.

I was more than a smidge above 30%.

After three years of hard work in the gym, in a matter of seconds, a woman I don't know and who knows nothing of my struggles and hard work, waved a wand and deemed me unacceptable. No matter than I can deadlift 270, back squat 225, squat clean 140, swing a 70-pound kettle bell, do double-unders as well as some little people, and run. Yes, this obese girl can run. And that's what I did after getting my "label." I was too upset to join the group workout as I had planned. So I left the gym and ran. I ran a little loop around the gym and then decided to keep on going. I ran and ran some more. I ran past all the thin, "acceptable" people waiting outside Flying Biscuit. For some reason this made me run faster. And I thought to myself, "hey all you biscuit-eating bitches, watch this unacceptable, obese chic sprint up this hill." And that's what I did.  

It took me a few days to shake this off and get back in a good groove. But I have put it behind me now. Mostly, anyway. It's just a number and a label for those who need it. It changes nothing. It doesn't change who I am or what I can do. Or what I need to do, which is continue to eat well and CrossFit and live my life, even if some may find me "unacceptable." 

Powerful Beyond Measure

"Awakening"
by Duy Huynh

from A Return to Love
by Marianne Williamson


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

A Kick in the Behind

"Free Spirit"
by Duy Huynh

My annual physical was a few weeks ago on October 1. I just received the results from the blood work on Monday, and my fasting blood glucose was borderline high (101 and the top of the range is 100). What?! I gave up sugar (in addition to all grains) on July 25, ten weeks earlier so how can this be? In all my 49 years of eating mostly crap most of the time, my blood glucose had never tested high. I even remember thinking, "how am I getting away with this?" And by "this" I mean eating all this sugar and still reporting normal blood glucose? Well, it's no surprise that I wasn't getting away with anything. In order to maintain normal blood glucose levels in spite of my horrendous diet, my pancreas was pumping out insulin like crazy all those years, resulting in my current insulin resistant state. Of course that's my own diagnosis after spending the last year learning about nutrition and metabolism. My doctor isn't going to diagnose this. She'll just keep testing my blood and let me know when I've moved into the diabetic range. At that point she'll give me a low-carb diet to follow.

I looked back in my food diary to see what I had eaten the day prior to the 11am appointment. We were between challenges, and I was a little looser with my diet than I had been in previous weeks. I was enjoying a bit of a break from the close scrutiny, but was still eating mostly primal. Dinner the night before the appointment was Paleo Night at Urban Pl8. I remember commenting to Damon the next day that it was richer and sweeter than I was used to eating, and I felt it. That same meal would not phase someone with a healthier metabolism than mine. Their body would have blood sugar levels back to normal within an hour of eating that meal. My body was still working on getting it under control more than 12 hours later.

So what do I make of all this? Well, for one, it explains so much. It explains why the weight isn't coming off as fast as I would like. I'm insulin resistant. Duh! I guess I knew this already, but there's nothing like seeing it in black and white after 10 weeks of eating a diet designed to improve the very thing I'm seeing in the report. It underscores just how important it is for me to keep carbs low; even "good" carbs need to be kept in check. And when I do splurge, it needs to be in moderation, followed by a walk or some activity to help my body bring blood sugar levels back to normal. Having this new information is a kick in the behind -- just in case I was starting to wonder what's so bad about a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast seven days a week.

Celebration Lasagna

Celebration Lasagna

To celebrate the end of the eight week nutrition challenge, I decided to prepare a special meal. I wanted to make something delicious and satisfying but still within the bounds of primal, low-carb, paleo-ish nutrition. Lately, I have dreamed [literally] of oatmeal and english muffins so I toyed with treating myself to some grains! I even briefly considered having a real dessert made with lots of refined sugar, but quickly decided that was not what I wanted. Recently, while reviewing the Everyday Paleo blog, I stumbled across a recipe for lasagna. That was it! Lasagna! Even without the pasta, it is a rich, luxurious meal.
Here's the link to the Everyday Paleo Lasagna recipe if you want to check it out. I opted not to go with this version since it is strict paleo, without any dairy, and I wanted cheese in my Celebration Lasagna.

Celebration Lasagna
Ingredients:
2 lbs grass-fed ground beef
1 jar of organic, gluten-free, sugar-free pasta sauce
4 medium zucchini
fresh baby spinach
small package of sliced mushrooms
olive oil
sea salt
cracked black pepper
1 cup cottage cheese
1 egg
1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese

Pre-heat oven to 425.

Slice the zucchini length-wise, using a mandoline, to about an 1/8" thick. Place the sliced zucchini in a zip-loc bag with a little olive oil, sea salt, and cracked black pepper. Toss, shake, and smush the zucchini around in the bag until all pieces are coated. Place the zucchini on a baking sheet and roast for 15-20 minutes, or until the zucchini starts to turn a little brown.

While the zucchini is roasting, brown the ground beef. Add the pasta sauce and mushrooms. Bring to a simmer and cook for a few minutes until heated through and most of the liquid has reduced.
In a separate bowl, combine 1 cup of cottage cheese with 1 egg, salt and pepper.

Reduce the oven to 375 degrees.

Line the bottom of a 13x9 baking dish with the roasted zucchini. Next layer with fresh spinach leaves. Top this layer with 1/2 of the ground beef mixture. (If the ground beef mixture is "soupy" don't add the liquid to the lasagna or you will have soupy lasagna). Dot the ground beef with 1/2 of the cottage cheese mixture. Repeat these layers and finish with the 1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella.

Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until bubbly and heated through.

Hamburger Soup

When I was a little girl, my mama would sometimes make what she called "Hamburger Soup." She did this when she was "too tired to cook" since my daddy didn't consider soup a real meal. Even so, it was one of my favorite suppers. In a big soup pot, she tossed leftover ground beef, onions, okra, corn, peas, potatoes, and tomatoes. Or whatever vegetables we had, but those were the common ones. To go along side it, she always made a large pan of corn bread and a gallon jug of sweet tea. With the table set, usually by me, the whole family would gather in the tiny kitchen around the rickety dinette set, "say the blessing," and then dig in. The soup was a steaming bowl of goodness. The warm cornbread, a slice of mama's love. And the sweet tea, a nightly staple as routine as the setting sun.

Inspired by this memory and the promise of cooler fall temperatures, I made a big pot of "Hamburger Soup" last night. I went heavy on the ground beef and chose all low starch vegetables: onion, bell pepper, tomato, okra, broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots. The result was a complete, satisfying paleo meal in a bowl (with lots of leftovers). As for the cornbread and sweet tea, the memory of those two will have to suffice.

There's No Going Back

"Food for Thought"
by Duy Huynh

Seven weeks ago I made a pledge to eliminate refined sugar for eight weeks. At first I couldn't even entertain the thought without my mind immediately flooding with phrases like "IMPOSSIBLE!" and "here you go again." I couldn't think it, and I certainly couldn't say it out loud or admit it to another person. But somehow in a moment of total frustration, I summoned the courage to make the pledge anyway. I wrote my promise on a sheet of paper, signed it, dated it, and stuck it on my refrigerator door. A week later, I shared my pledge with other people in the nutrition challenge that my gym was sponsoring. After two weeks, I realized that I would actually honor my commitment -- that it was POSSIBLE for me to succeed. And now, here it is seven weeks later. Only one week remains in the 8-week challenge. The heavy-handed depression that I experienced during weeks 3 through 5 has eased. I'm starting to get my energy back. I've lost some weight. Sugar no longer has me by the throat. Oh, I'm well aware that it is waiting in the wings, ready to pounce in a weak moment -- to enslave me again. So there's no going back for me. The end of eight weeks will be a milestone for celebration. A beginning of the rest of my life. Not the end of anything.

The Sweetness all Around

A lone Rose of Sharon (hibiscus syriacus) blossom brightens the dog days
of summer at Lullwater Park on Wednesday.

We are finally in the waning days of summer, thank goodness. I can't recall ever being so happy to have the end of August in my sights. Just when I thought Autumn might not come at all this year, we got a little break in the heat with even cooler temps forecasted over the next several days.

I've been away from this blog for nearly two months. I am coming out of a bit of depression - brought on first by the move, and then enhanced by the oppressive heat, and further aggravated by eliminating all refined sugar from my diet. Life has just seemed too dull and gray, too hot, too dry, too old, too hard. Not sweet at all. But in the last few days, I have felt a glimmer of happiness returning. I am taking notice again of the sweetness all around: the electric yellow goldfinches at the bird feeder. The mandevilla vine with screaming red blooms. Zara the neighborhood greyhound who finally made friends with me and Melvin. The lone Rose of Sharon blossom at Lullwater yesterday. Sweetness truly is all around.

______________________________________________________

Back at the beginning of the year, during one of my waves of introversion, I locked this blog down (again) so that only the people closest to me could read it. I was afraid that people would judge me because I was still working on my nutrition and trying to lose weight. And failing miserably. Now I'm unlocking it again, feeling somehow liberated to just be who I am, failures, flaws and all. Perfect example -- I've worn a sleeveless top out in public on more than one occasion recently. No one cares! Life is too short (and too hot) to hide out. Or cover up.

A Little Nudge

Coffee in a Pretty Cup

"It's time to commit to finding other forms of comfort and sticking with them.
You WILL beat this if you choose it."
words of Erica Stelten -
friend, nutritionist, life coach, bad-ass crossfitter, former compulsive eater, and all around good person

Choose. That was Erica's advice to me on Wednesday. "You will beat this if [and when] you choose it." Not when some miracle happens and suddenly I'm really motivated to eat only vegetables, fruit, and meat. Not when pigs fly. Not when I have sufficiently beat myself up over my failure to change. Not tomorrow or next week or next year. But when I choose to change, I will change. It requires a commitment to myself and a DECISION to act differently than the past 49 years. It's like any commitment. I'm not always happy about doing my work, but I have a responsibility to my employer, and I honor it. Take CrossFit as another example. Although I am committed to CrossFit, I rarely wake up excited or motivated to go to the gym. But I drag myself there five or six times per week. It is never easy, but the rewards are worth it, and the threats of not doing it loom large. Standard American aging does not appeal to me. I choose to be different than the masses.

August 15 will mark my third anniversary with CrossFit. When I first started, I couldn't do a single sit up, and shoulder pressing 20 pounds was a challenge. I couldn't jump rope at all, and I had never heard of a double-under. My nutrition was off the deep end. Bingeing on sweet, trans fat-filled carbs was a regular occurrence. I took medication for depression, but remained depressed and moody much of the time. I was on lipitor for high cholesterol, and I suffered from regular bouts with vertigo. My first CrossFit workout did more for my depression than years of prozac and talk-therapy. I was hooked immediately, and I never looked back. The rewards have been tremendous: strength, overall fitness, happiness, no prozac, no lipitor, and oh, the friends I've made.

I've even made huge improvements in my nutrition. If you had told me three years ago that I would be happy rarely eating bread, rice, or pasta, I would not have believed you. And my frequent bingeing on sweets is a thing of the past. I still get into trouble with ice cream more than I care to admit, and now I eat nuts like I used to eat candy. But compared to the past, well, it's like night and day. I can't remember the last time I bought a bag of miniature reeses or Crunch 'n Munch. I used to eat that crap all the time.

Erica's simple admonishment on Wednesday really helped me. I am ready (and have been) to change -- to take it to the next level, but I needed a little nudge. It's like when your coach puts the tiniest bit of upward pressure on the bar during a heavy back squat; you just need the slightest bit of assistance to stand up. Or a little nudge to move forward. I may need it again from time to time, and I hope Erica and others will offer it. I'm tired of giving myself excuses for not changing. I'm tired of denying myself full participation in my sport and in life. This fat suit doesn't suit me anymore.